advertisement
Click Here
On TechRepublic: 12 job search roadblocks
Sign up | Log in

Log in to post and mark posts as watched.

refresh »
  • [-]Did you and DH swear off alcohol while TTC? I've read that it's a good idea in a few places and wonder how many people actually do it.

    27 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    09.18.09, 10:49 AM [ Flag ]
    • nope.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      09.18.09, 10:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • LOL. No. Lots of wine involved.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      09.18.09, 10:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • nope. i'm pretty sure i drank even more while TTC knowing that soon i'd be giving up martinis for a very, very long time.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      09.18.09, 10:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • hahahhahahhahah

      [ Reply | Options ]
      09.18.09, 10:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I think my Dr. even suggested a glass of wine to relax. Being relaxed is key!

      [ Reply | Options ]
      09.18.09, 11:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • No not at all

      [ Reply | Options ]
      09.18.09, 11:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • hells no

      [ Reply | Options ]
      09.18.09, 11:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I was following my basal body temp and so I figured it was fine to drink up until my estimated ovulation date. Quite amusing - I actually don't drink very much as it is and the month that I conceived I had quite a bit of wine (from winery tours and weddings). Stress is a big hindrance to conception, perhaps all that wine helped lower my stress!!

      [ Reply | Options ]
      09.18.09, 11:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • No but my limit was two drinks max and usually just one.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      09.18.09, 11:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • i drank an i also didn't stop having a glass or two of wine until the doctor confirmed the pregnancy

      [ Reply | Options ]
      09.18.09, 11:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • ttc and i have wine every night..as a matter of fact i even drink wine after the tww of iui..i figured ill give up the wine once i get a ppt..i dont think it effects anything anyway

      [ Reply | Options ]
      09.18.09, 11:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • And your success so far makes you an expert?

        [ Reply | Options ]
        09.18.09, 11:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • im not an expert but i did the no alchol, healthy food, detox and that got me nowhere either..i dont mean drink like a maniac but one or two glasses of wine is not going to do anything

          [ Reply | Options ]
          09.18.09, 12:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • i just dont think your total life needs to turn upside down when ttc...if u want wine..drink wine

          [ Reply | Options ]
          09.18.09, 12:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Yes, no alcohol - not hot tubs, not hot baths, dh wore boxers not tightie whitie - trying to think of anything else? Oh yea, I took prenatals while ttc and maybe additional folic acid or I made sure I was getting enough with the prenatal - I don't remember for sure.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      09.18.09, 11:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • wow, I drank wine ttc and i think it helped a bit, even forgot we were ttc from time to time and just had fun.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        09.18.09, 11:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • There really wasn't much to forget, got pregnant first try twice and third month another time! But - we always prepared to ttc with above for a month - just to detox.

          [ Reply | Options ]
          09.18.09, 12:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Friend was trying to conceive for a year...one wkd, went away with hubby, drank a lot of wine, and conceived. You want to be having and happy when you conceive!

      [ Reply | Options ]
      09.18.09, 12:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • hell, if it weren't for alcohol, #1 would be an only.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      09.18.09, 12:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • nope. my dr. told me that the few drinks I had before I knew I was pg were no problem.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      09.18.09, 12:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • nope. neither time. the only real reason to do so would be if you are charting/temping, as i think alcohol elevates your basal body temp.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      09.18.09, 12:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • No. I drank wine. I don't think it can hurt, but I wouldn't overdo it or get really drunk.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      09.18.09, 12:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • This is a very interesting set of replies. Isn't it true that a blastocyst/zygote is much more sensitive to disruption in the early stages than a more developed fetus is in the later stages?

      [ Reply | Options ]
      09.21.09, 09:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • np It's not attached and isn't sharing your blood supply.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        09.21.09, 11:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I don't remember where I heard this, (though I want to say my dr.) but there is something like a four week rule that i've heard of. Yes, the zygote is much more sensitive, but because of this, if whatever you're doing doesn't kill it in the first four weeks it will likely be fine. a good percentage of pregnancies are miscarried within the first two weeks because of drinking/this sensitivity, and because your period still arrives on time most women are oblivious to ever having conceived. If you want the baby, I'd give up the proverbial 'sauce'.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.21.09, 03:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I swore off almost entirely (nursed a single drink all night when it would be awkward not to), but didn't ask DH to cut back. Why not be extra careful so early? That said, my best friend, who's a pediatrician, said not to worry about minor consumption, particularly before implantation when you're not even sharing a blood supply. Who knows?

      [ Reply | Options ]
      09.21.09, 10:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]Sarah Palin's son, Trig, was one of the "hot topics" on The View today. Barbara Walters read a statistic that 90% of fetuses found to have down syndrome are terminated. Last poll I read said something like the split between pro-life/pro-choice in the US is close to 50/50, so I don't see, mathematically, how it can be that 90% of ds pregnancies are terminated.

    80 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.18.09, 08:20 AM [ Flag ]
    • I think it is probably bc many people are pro-life until they are faced with having to raise a DS child.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.18.09, 08:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Or that pro-choice people have a disproportionate number of DS pregnancies. Maybe it has something to do with age--women who wait to get married and have children in order to build their careers are statistically more likely to be pro-choice. Then they are older when they get pregnant so DS is more likely.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.18.09, 08:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • NP: Just a hunch, but I would guess what you say may be more true for NYC, where many women wait to have children... but for the country as a whole, I would guess more pro-lifers tend to have babies with down syndrome, because many don't believe in birth control and thus continue to have children into their forties. In our Catholic church there were many babies with downs-syndrome (usually the youngest in the family). I imagine that not every woman feels she can handle that at forty with many other children to care for as well (pro-life or not).

          [ Reply | Options ]
          11.18.09, 08:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • ITA. You don't really know what you believe until you are tested.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.18.09, 08:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • I don't agree entirely. I opted at 40 not to have a cvs or amnio because I knew that whatever I learned wouldn't change anything, I was going to have that baby anyway. Some of us know what we believe on this subject without being tested.

          [ Reply | Options ]
          11.18.09, 08:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • And others think they do until they're faced with a frightening reality.

            [ Reply | Options ]
            11.18.09, 08:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Yes, but as someone pointed out below if you know you won't terminate there's no point in getting the testing done. By opting out of the tests I was making a descision to have my child regardless of the number of chromosones he had.

              [ Reply | Options ]
              11.18.09, 08:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • Not true. There is a point to getting testing, even if you will not terminate under any circumstances. If you do have a DB that will have a problem, then you have the time/ability to prepare for what's coming. Arranging for necessary specialists, arranging leaves/benefits, preparing older DCs, etc.

                [ Reply | Options ]
                11.18.09, 10:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • And those are the 10% who found out dc had Down's and didn't abort. For many of us, the risk of the procedure causing harm outweigh any benefit of lining up specialists.

                  [ Reply | Options ]
                  11.18.09, 10:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • The risk of the procedure varies by doctor. If you don't trust your doctor to properly perform an amnio, find a new doctor.

                    [ Reply | Options ]
                    11.18.09, 10:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                    • Why is it not OK in your book for someone to elect to not have the procedure? You are being very anti-choice.

                      [ Reply | Options ]
                      11.18.09, 10:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • yup. I think this is the ans. dead on.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.18.09, 08:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • It's "anti-abortion," not "pro-life." Let's stop playing into the hands of the Christian Right by using their terminology. I am pro-choice. I am not anti-life.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.18.09, 08:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • OP here - I used old-school terms, sorry. The Christian Right also refer to pro-choice as "pro-abortion," didn't want to offend anyone, just to get some speculation on the numbers.

          [ Reply | Options ]
          11.18.09, 08:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • or: sorry, didn't mean to call you out. i just hate that we have all adopted these terms without thinking about what they imply. it is my mission in life to reframe the terms to something more accurate that doesn't feed into the crazy christian right agenda.

            [ Reply | Options ]
            11.18.09, 08:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • your semantics make no sense. You are "pro-choice", not "anti-life" but those who are "pro-life" are "anti-abortion", you sound like an idiot... be consistent.

          [ Reply | Options ]
          11.19.09, 03:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I read an article about pro-life women who have abortions. It happens

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.18.09, 08:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • well, you don't know howthat 50/50 split is skewed by gender or age. and yes, people who say they are pro-life have abortions.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.18.09, 08:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • The great irony is that the traditional "red" states have (1) higher divorce rates, (2) higher # of abortions and (3) higher % of poverty... People don't do what they "believe"--they are better at telling other people what to do...

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.18.09, 08:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • do you think those red states have no blue in them? that doesn't really make any statistical sense--

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.18.09, 08:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • residents of red states, on average, tend to be less eductaed, poorer, less white- this contributes to higher rates of all that you suggest above. The education levels and incerased poverty have way more to do with it than the political convictions-

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.18.09, 08:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • i thought poor are more likely to have baby, whereas wealthy are more likely to have abortion?

          [ Reply | Options ]
          11.18.09, 08:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • actually, lots of poor women have multiple abortions- lack of access to health care and bad choices lead to lack of birth control, so they use abortion as a form of birth control- also teenagers pregnant more in poorer areas (and places where sex education is weak- hello red states!) and they get abortions-

            [ Reply | Options ]
            11.18.09, 08:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • what a tragically black and white way to look at the world. do you teach your child that the people in "red states" are ignorant, right wingers? how sad.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.18.09, 10:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • red states have higher teen pregnancy rates as well. read "red sex, blue sex," in the new yorker, from a year ago.

          [ Reply | Options ]
          11.18.09, 12:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I wonder what the ages of the moms who terminate are vs those who don't. IME its easier to be pro-life, or see any issue in black and while with no shades of grey, when you're young. As we get older, wiser, and have more life experiences to draw from most issues enter the grey area.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.18.09, 08:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I never claimed to know what others could/should do but I always said I would never opt for termination of my child. Then quad screen said 1:4 for Trisomy 18/21 and I did research on what T18/21 is. And I thought about the two kids we already had. And the world got very very gray.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.18.09, 08:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Wow. This is really interesting. I had a baby not long ago and wondered what I'd have done in that situation. And?

          [ Reply | Options ]
          11.18.09, 08:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • Sorry, I should not have dropped it there -- I got pulled away. When they hooked up the ultrasound to do the amnio there was no heart beat. Decision averted. Fate's kindness has never hurt so much.

            [ Reply | Options ]
            11.18.09, 08:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • because a) many people who are pro-life don't have an amnio b/c they know they wouldn't abort no matter what the test shows and b) some people consider themselves pro-life but still make exceptions so in a poll they would answer that they are pro-choice, but what they really mean is that abortion isn't a form of birth control.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.18.09, 08:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • The pro-lifers I know believe that amnio is unnecessary and dangerous.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.18.09, 08:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Yes, I think I have heard that some pro-lifers will not have an amnio because they feel it implies that they MIGHT abort.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.18.09, 09:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • I am prolife and I choose not to have an amnio. Not because of what it might imply to anyone. I choose not to because of the potential risk of amnio. I know many prolife people and having an amnio or not is just a matter of what they feel comfortable with. Some people just need to know. Just like some people just need to know the sex of the baby.

          [ Reply | Options ]
          11.19.09, 06:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I agree with poster who says pro-lifers probabyl don't ahev an amnio, I'd be curious to really know if the stat is 90% of DS pregnancies, or 90% of pregnancies where the mother tests and finds out the baby has DS- we're talking very different populations here!

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.18.09, 08:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I'm pro life and did not have an amino. I did not want to be in the position of having to make an decision. It all worked out and my children are healthy. BTW, most people thought I was crazy for not having test before babies born.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.18.09, 08:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • I choose not to have any tests and no one except my dr. has ever asked me anything at all about it. Do people really get into other peoples personal decisions like that?

          [ Reply | Options ]
          11.19.09, 06:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Palin's behavior after she went into labor with Trig was so completely bizarre and showed such indifference to the health and well-being of her child that I can't help wondering whether she did not want him to live.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.18.09, 08:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • These studies are flawed in that people who pursue prenatal diagnosis in general are more likely to terminate an affected pregnancy. I am a genetic counselor and work in a population where I would say 80% of patients decided against amniocentesis/CVs, so we have no idea what they would do if they found out a pregnancy was affected. Prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome by maternal blood sampling is coming. When the risk from the procedure is taken out, and more people have testing, we may get a better idea of what the true statistic is.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.18.09, 08:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I'm Catholic, would not have terminated a pregnancy and had an amnio. I grew up with a cousin who had Down's, and knew that if there was something wrong with my DB, I'd want to know, so that I could be prepared to manage the situation - line up the right specialists in advance, prepare other family members, arrange DH and my leave/benefits, etc. Just having an amnio doesn't automatically mean anything.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.18.09, 09:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • abortion is one of those issues where how we feel is not how we act when reality hits us in the face. Lots of anti-choice folks will abort when it's their lives that are about to get turned upsidedown with an unwanted pregnancy.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.18.09, 10:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • For some maybe but not for most. If you really believe something, you don't just stop believing it because circumstances change.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.19.09, 06:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • No, you keep opposing abortion -- while having one when it's your own pregnancy you want to end. Amazing how many anti-choice types lack the courage of their convictions when they (or someone in their family) gets pregnant.

          [ Reply | Options ]
          11.20.09, 06:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • we tried 8 years to have my daughter and were told during one of her screenings she had markers for downs. i'm pro-choice, but refused a amnio and refused to abort. i never thought about raising a special needs child, but i knew that she was a miracle and couldn't wait for her arrival regardless. anyway, all went well despite concerns and we delivered a perfectly, beautiful, brilliant and happy baby. so you never know.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.18.09, 10:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I am pro-choice but I knew I would never terminate a Downs baby. I did the nuchal fold testing (both for my twins and my singleton) to get some idea of the risks. When it was normal, I opted not to do CVS or amnio. If the nuchal fold had shown a high risk, I likely would have done more testing just to do as an earlier poster suggested - line up specialists, read up on the challenges etc. etc.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.18.09, 12:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • bc many people don't think beyond elective abortions in the event of unwanted pregnancies - so they say they are "anti abortion" or "prolife". those same people can feel very differently when faced with the possibility of a db w DS or other serious medical/physical/congenital issues.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.18.09, 12:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • many people think that being "pro-life" means that they personally would never get an abortion and that being "pro-choice" means that they would. they don't get that it's a political viewpoint: being prolife means that you think that NO WOMAN should be allowed to get an abortion and being prochoice means you think that the choice to terminate or continue a pregnancy should be in the hands of the woman. It's kind of like being anti-poverty does not mean only that you personally don't want to be poor...

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.18.09, 12:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • you are wrong... I am pro-choice for others, pro-life for myself. Quite frankly, if women want to abort their children there is nothing I could do to stop them. Therefore, I believe women should be able to abort their babies, I just would never abort my own.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.19.09, 03:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • walk a mile in someone else's shoes...

          [ Reply | Options ]
          11.19.09, 05:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • or: that is EXACTLY what I am saying. pro-choice is a political stance meaning that you believe women should ahve the right to choose to terminate OR to keep a pregnancy. Pro-life means that you believe that women should NOT have that right - that the government should make it illegal to terminate a pregnancy. Neither has anything to do with what decision you would make about your own pregnancy.

          [ Reply | Options ]
          11.20.09, 12:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • I am prolife. Everything is not as black and white as your perceive in your views of what it means to be "prochoice" or "prolife" and most of America is in the gray area. I am cognizant that some mothers will abort their children.... and again, my energies are better spent in living my life than worrying about mothers who abort their children. Most of America is in the grey area. Not the black and white world you insist is reality.

            [ Reply | Options ]
            11.21.09, 03:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I am absolute about this. f there is any chance that baby would be DS or even be slightly mentally retarded, or have any birth defects, I would abort it. No way jose.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 06:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Thank you for letting us know what kind of children you would let live , and the others that you would abort. Again, your decision as a mother.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.20.09, 11:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • any sort of birth defect? what if it is something like missing a toe? or a cleft lip? would you really abort for any type of birth defect? they are so common and most kids do fine!

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.20.09, 12:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]Does anyone else her have a problem with a certain singer LB who sings about spaghetti?

    23 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.20.09, 05:16 PM [ Flag ]
    • Cannot stand her. She is such a talentless wannabee, and deeply boring.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 05:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Huh???

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 05:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • When my dd was born, my mother ran out and bought the CD and memorized the songs. I had to sit in the back of my parents minivan as they drove around singing that spaghetti song at the top of their lungs. My dd was 12w at the time and really didn't give a hoot, it really was one of the most annoying experiences I have had in the past few years.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 05:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • She just seems so conceited and smug. Cannot bear her. She is like head of pta at our school.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 05:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I love her! -a dh

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 06:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Please tell me who/what you're talking about.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 06:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • um, what are we talking about here? a singer we won't name who sings about pasta and is the head of a PTA? only in NY folks

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 06:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • UB is the ONLY place I have ever heard of this singer. I think someone on here is obsessed with her.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 06:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • she is all over nickjr. you probably do know her...

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.20.09, 06:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • She used to be on the Nick music fillers between shows alot. (May still be my kids are older.)

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.20.09, 06:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • ITTTA!! I'm convinced it's either LB herself or her publicist that keeps posting these innane questions. The only problem with that they usually end up in a flamefest of how boring and banal her music is... probably NOT the type of feedback they would like. But I guess in that line of biz, any publicity is good publicity?! FWIW - my kids immediately ask us to turn the channel when Berkner comes on Nick, for which DH and I are all too eager to comply!! Cannot STAND her "music"

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.20.09, 08:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • I wouldn't mind it so much if she was not such a focal point of all her videos. Cannot bear to see her forced prancing.

          [ Reply | Options ]
          11.20.09, 08:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Wasn't there some movie/TV show where Emma Thompson played a similarly annoying singer? Can't remember what it was but it was hilarious. I always preferred Raffi myself or heck--how about just regular music?

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 07:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • A Frasier episode. Emma Thompson played Nanny something, Frasier's ex-wife, whom nobody including Lilith knew about. It was hilarious.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.20.09, 07:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Don't know how I feel about her as a talent or as a person, but DC and I love the Goldfish song - "Wait a minute; we're fish. We can't ride bicycles."

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 07:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • this is funny. She irritates me but someone on UB is really bothered by her because you post this every other day or so! Wonder if this thread will disappear...

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 08:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • First experience with her was free concert in C.park where every person with a dc from NJ and every borough and every state in the union east of the mississippi came. My ds hated it, me too. Nails on the blackboard. Screechy, whiny, nasal and banal.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.21.09, 01:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]Was in a store near ps 186 (I think) and those DCs were more obnoxious and entitled than any of the girls I knew at SS tt.

    44 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.20.09, 11:43 AM [ Flag ]
    • they are dreadful itttta

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 11:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • what and where is this school?

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 11:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Right, a couple of obnoxious girls pretty much represent the entire public school student body. How do you know they were from public school, anyway?

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 11:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • No uniforms, upper east side about 5th grade flowing into cell phone store in Tory Burch shoes flipping their hair and speaking through their noses. And there were about three different groups of them. And you think that people on here who bash ss TT girls know EVERY girl in the entire class?

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.20.09, 11:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • When you make a decision about a private school being filled with entitled celebs and money what are you going on for evidence?

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.20.09, 12:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • um, the many celebs who have kids there? i think it's far less accurate to judge a public school based on a few students. privates are much smaller and much more homogeneous, socioeconomically and racially.

          [ Reply | Options ]
          11.20.09, 12:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • um, the few that do in each grade do not make up the whole school not even the whole grade and who is to say celeb kids are all awful?

            [ Reply | Options ]
            11.20.09, 12:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • i don't think celeb kids are awful. i would worry about my dc getting involved with kids who have a lot of money and not a lot of supervision. celeb/super wealthy kids seem more likely to fall into that category.

              [ Reply | Options ]
              11.20.09, 12:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • I don't think you understand there are plenty of wealthy dcs at public school in wealthy areas. You aren't required to have money to get to a great private in NYC you need to have intelligence, I know a lot of dumb wealthy people.

                [ Reply | Options ]
                11.20.09, 12:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • look, face facts. the chances a Dalton or Horace Mann kindergartener being from a wealthy familiy is pretty great. the odds aren't anywhere near that in any random public, even one like PS 6, in a wealthy area.

                  [ Reply | Options ]
                  11.20.09, 12:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • So then the three groups of hideously obnoxious girls in outfits far too expensive for them that were streaming out of this public means nothing to you because....you want to stick your head in the sand? Nice.

                    [ Reply | Options ]
                    11.20.09, 12:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                    • oh, honey, believe what you want to believe. you're exhausting me.

                      [ Reply | Options ]
                      11.20.09, 12:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                      • "sweetie" its not believing what I want to believe it is seeing with my own eyes. And yes, I would like another piece of pecan pie please and a refill on my coffee.

                        [ Reply | Options ]
                        11.20.09, 12:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • if i were your waitress and you were this annoying IRL, rest assured i would "accidentally" give you regular instead of decaf and sneeze on your pie.

                          [ Reply | Options ]
                          11.20.09, 12:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • Nice manners they teach there at the diner. Shame.

                          [ Reply | Options ]
                          11.20.09, 12:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • lol, i guess i should look to you for behavioral cues because you're so charming. go back to your TT private school. they know how to raise those girls right!

                          [ Reply | Options ]
                          11.20.09, 12:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • My reference was to the use of the word "honey". God you people are so uptight and on a crusade to prove your backgrounds have value. Please send your DCs to private if they get in or else they may grow up with mommy's insecurity complex.

                          [ Reply | Options ]
                          11.20.09, 12:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • i am rotflmao at this point. you win, seriously. i'm going to stop responding to you now. have a great afternoon. switch to decaf. i'll bring some to you at your table if you're polite.

                          [ Reply | Options ]
                          11.20.09, 12:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • Ok deal!

                          [ Reply | Options ]
                          11.20.09, 12:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • me too, at private schools.

                  [ Reply | Options ]
                  11.20.09, 12:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • How about doing your homework b/f smearing a school?

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 12:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Oh...What kind of post is that? Are you 'like...12-or 15?

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 12:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Ummm, you'll have to give an example if you want people to agree with you. Also, you're probably talking about 10 year olds at the most who are not allowed out to lunch (school policy) so what the HECK are you talking about??? A little insecure at your SS tt???

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 02:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I think OP was being a bit of a jerk but - she said nothing about lunch hour. I think she saw these kids after school. A weird thing is that it also sounds like the OP is comparing these current kids to the girls SHE went to school with - not the current 5th graders at SS schools (who I'm sure are the same as these 158ers). At any rate, these kids are growing up on the UES, for feck's sake. They ARE entitled children, whether they go to public or private school. A difference would be that 158 has 20% of their kids eligible for a free lunch, which is vastly different from being "poor" enough to get FA at a private school. But the richie riches at both kinds of school? The same.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.20.09, 02:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • is that a current statistic? i have trouble believing that anyone who can afford to live in the area zoned for 158 is eligible for free lunch. there are not even any housing projects. otoh, up until 5 years ago, 158 still had a lot of kids there from out of zone with a variance.

          [ Reply | Options ]
          11.20.09, 06:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • 158 also houses East Side Middle. Those were probably middle school girls. Middle school is middle school. Not the most charming age - cut them a break.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 05:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]Off the "DIVORCE" post what is the worst divorce you have ever heard? Me: childhood sweethearts, DH takes off with make BFF, yes he was gay.

    19 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.20.09, 01:31 PM [ Flag ]
    • Friends parents divorced after 25 or 30 years of marriage. The day after the divorce was final the father married the mother's bf. Literally the very next day. The mother had no idea they were involved until that day.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 01:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • gossip

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 01:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • couple had to live bi-coastal for work reasons at the beginning of the marriage (ny/la) but they spent every weekend together. Went on for a few months. After a vacation in HI the wife gets a call from sister saying we can't keep this from you any longer but it seems dh is leading a double life with a totally different woman.... it was heart breaking

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 01:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • a coworker got married for the first time long before I knew her. on the honeymoon her husband tells her he "thinks" he's gay. why couldn't have said it the day before? Happy ending, she's now married to a great guy and really doing well.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 01:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • dh is an alcoholic screw-up. dw loves him but can't stand living with him anymore and he won't get help. she tells him she wants a divorce, doesn't want anything from him (he comes from a wealthy family), feels terrible. things didn't work out, but she didn't blame him. a few weeks later, she finds he has moved in with a girlfriend she did not know about, a girlfriend he knocked up and has been keeping secret! he lets this woman watch their child during his visits! and this woman is TRASHY. when she answers the phone, won't let dw speak with her own son, etc.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 02:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • DH told on his honeymoon that DW made the wrong decision and wants out. Get divorced, she gets the house. He remarries and 3 months later DW2 tells him she's a lesbian and her partner moves into the house, DH moves to the basement, eventually they too get divorced. Not making this up.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 02:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • DF was pregnant w/ # 3. Dh suggested that they sell their home to buy a bigger one, dh sells house and than backs out of new home purchase. Moves family into a dumpy rental tells dw that he is sleeping with her bf and wants a divorce. Df miscarries #3. Dh cancels all credit cards AND turns off the electricity on his own dcs. Dh (who makes over 2 million a year) hides assets and leaves the country.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 02:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Oh, so sad. That is awful.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.20.09, 02:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Moral of the story: Don’t allow DH no matter how financially savvy to have complete control of finances. Dw allowed him to do everything and even gave him POA at their house closing. Nothing was in her name.

          [ Reply | Options ]
          11.20.09, 02:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • My ex dh left me when I was pg for someone else, but at least I had the comfort of beautiful new baby. Poor woman. So, so, sad.

            [ Reply | Options ]
            11.20.09, 02:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • That is so awful. I once knew a guy at work who was cheating w/ an office mate while dw was pregnant. Everytime I got within inches of either of them my skin would crawl and I was in my early 20's. Some people should never get married.

              [ Reply | Options ]
              11.20.09, 02:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Read "Heartburn" by Nora Ephron is you never have--painful but very, very funny, thinly-fictionalized story of the same thing...

              [ Reply | Options ]
              11.20.09, 07:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Friend of my mothers find out her dh has another family, living close by (thought he commuted for work) with 2 dd's same age as hers. Had been going on for 10 years. He left her for other 'wife'. He had no money (she had always worked)

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 03:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • My aunts husband ran off with her daughter (his stepdaughter), way before someone famous did the same thing.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 04:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • wow...horrible...i can imagine a stepdad being into his stepdaughter, but the idea of the stepdaughter reciprocating the affections and not thinking about hurting her own mom really saddens me. Mom must feel so pained looking at her daughter now.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.20.09, 09:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]Therapist mom here - had a long day, on a wave, ask me anything.

    30 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.18.09, 07:54 PM [ Flag ]
    • Are you bored to death during your sessions?

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.18.09, 07:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • sometimes... sometimes just depressed.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.18.09, 07:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • this being an anonymous board: do you ever get interested/emotionally involved in your job? Like you think about a patient's problem on the way home?

          [ Reply | Options ]
          11.18.09, 08:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • Yes. I have two cases like that - I have a couple that used to swing, stopped, now have a baby, also have a man who got married for all the wrogn reasons, have a baby and isn't really in love with his wife, but loves the kid. It's sad.

            [ Reply | Options ]
            11.18.09, 08:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Thanks. I was always wondering if therapists actually care (sometimes), or they always just secretly look at their watches waiting when we boring wretched souls go away.

              [ Reply | Options ]
              11.18.09, 08:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • I do care, especially when people seem to be caged, locked in their own bodies, unable to help themselves.

                [ Reply | Options ]
                11.18.09, 08:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • np: I thought therapists weren't supposed to tell people what to do.

                  [ Reply | Options ]
                  11.18.09, 08:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • we don't tell them, but we do offer advice. Especially if they indicate that they want something and don't know how to go about it

                    [ Reply | Options ]
                    11.18.09, 08:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • What is the purpose of a therapist? (seriously, I'm not being snarky.)

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.18.09, 08:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Do you believe in a classical psychoanalysis, or you think it is over?

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.18.09, 08:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I think many people these days are so lonely, especially in NYC. So many people get married, have kids, have friends and despite all that are so alone. I think I am a friend for hire sometimes, someone that can listen, and doesn’t judge, gives advice, sheds light on a new perspective, a new outlook. If you can help change someone’s perspective you can have change happen in the physical world.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.18.09, 08:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • What is your take on the fact that meds can change perspective in a very tangible way?

          [ Reply | Options ]
          11.18.09, 08:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • I’m not a Psychiatrist, I’m a LCSW. I am aware of the fact that some people need meds to be able to literally survive. I refer patients to Psychiatrists if I feel that they need more help. In a perfect world talking, opening up, facing issues would get people to straighten up, deal and get better. But in this world it’s not the case, plus some psychotic people do need meds and these are beyond the scope of my practice.

            [ Reply | Options ]
            11.18.09, 08:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Do you have times where you question the value of therapy, and your chosen profession altogether? I know several MSW's who feel this way, my sister is one of them.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.18.09, 08:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I do. I don't think it's science. I think of myself as someonw who listens, it's not about analysis.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.18.09, 08:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • How should I deal with my alcoholic borderline personality father? Cut him out completely? Sad he won't have a relationship with dd but maybe it is for the best.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.18.09, 08:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I personally don’t believe in a rigid definition of “family” – sometimes blood can’t overcome hard personalities, sometimes past experiences affect the way we look at parents, siblings, etc. I have many patients that complain, especially around the holiday season, that they have to go to dinners with their family, however they don’t feel close to those people – a lot of anger, hurt bottled in, yet they go to dinner, act, put on a happy face while questioning the whole “production”. Your father may not have been a good father, and he may never be but he can still be an excellent grandfather, loving and caring, drinking problem or not. However, if he is not interested, doesn’t show affection etc, the fact that he is blood ...

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.18.09, 08:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Any advice on surviving 6th grade? I feel so helpless when dd reveals what's going on socially.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.18.09, 08:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • If she is being picked on or singled out, boost her up as much as you can. Even if it seems "silly" or like overkill, if you tell her she is beautiful or smart or [fill in the blank] literally every day, when she is an adult she will have better self-esteem than all of her friends. If she is one of the ones doing the ostracizing, do what you can to teach her compassion outside of her social circle. Perhaps volunteer work, but not by forcing her to be nice to kids considered outcasts - that will be too hard on her because of the other girls. Also, encourage her to be friends with boys.

        [ Reply | Options ]
        11.20.09, 07:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • how many years after therapist and patient stop being therapist and patient is it ok for them to have a romantic relationship?

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.18.09, 08:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Do you think there is anything that can be done to change a person with a clear cut narcissistic personality disorder, or I should just run away? Is this condition genetic or acquired?

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.18.09, 08:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • How does one go about choosing a good psychologist? What resources would you recommend?

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.19.09, 03:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Trailer trash mom here- how can I get a MILF with two kids to stop calling my boyfriend to ask if she can move in/spend the night?

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.19.09, 07:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Let me preface this by saying that I have definitely benefited from therapy at different times in my life. I do notice, however, that many people who choose to study/practice some sort of mental therapy are generally the people who seem most screwed up. Do you think the majority of people who choose some type of psycho therapy as a profession are trying to fix themselves?

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 07:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
refresh »

Your settings system defaults

Stages
Regions
Select all

Log in to save selected filters as your default.

Numbers in parentheses are the number of posts in that category.

advertisement
advertisement
Click Here

UrbanBaby Asks...

Are you or your partner ever naked in front of your children?

Already voted? View Results

See previous polls »