[-]Did you and DH swear off alcohol while TTC? I've read that it's a good idea in a few places and wonder how many people actually do it.
27 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]nope. i'm pretty sure i drank even more while TTC knowing that soon i'd be giving up martinis for a very, very long time.
[ Reply | Options ]I was following my basal body temp and so I figured it was fine to drink up until my estimated ovulation date. Quite amusing - I actually don't drink very much as it is and the month that I conceived I had quite a bit of wine (from winery tours and weddings). Stress is a big hindrance to conception, perhaps all that wine helped lower my stress!!
[ Reply | Options ]ttc and i have wine every night..as a matter of fact i even drink wine after the tww of iui..i figured ill give up the wine once i get a ppt..i dont think it effects anything anyway
[ Reply | Options ]-
This is a very interesting set of replies. Isn't it true that a blastocyst/zygote is much more sensitive to disruption in the early stages than a more developed fetus is in the later stages?
[ Reply | Options ]I don't remember where I heard this, (though I want to say my dr.) but there is something like a four week rule that i've heard of. Yes, the zygote is much more sensitive, but because of this, if whatever you're doing doesn't kill it in the first four weeks it will likely be fine. a good percentage of pregnancies are miscarried within the first two weeks because of drinking/this sensitivity, and because your period still arrives on time most women are oblivious to ever having conceived. If you want the baby, I'd give up the proverbial 'sauce'.
[ Reply | Options ]
I swore off almost entirely (nursed a single drink all night when it would be awkward not to), but didn't ask DH to cut back. Why not be extra careful so early? That said, my best friend, who's a pediatrician, said not to worry about minor consumption, particularly before implantation when you're not even sharing a blood supply. Who knows?
[ Reply | Options ]
[-]Any women on here who actually LIKE The Big Lebowski? I'm not aware of a single woman who likes it, or a single man who has said he doesn't like it.
23 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]op: me neither. dh is watching it now... it's just as bad as I'd remembered! but he's enjoying it (and he generally has good taste in movies). i don't get it...
[ Reply | Options ]-
-
Hate it. Don't even get me started on The Hudsucker Proxy (or No Country) If dh puts that movie on one more time . . . I do grudgingly admit to liking O Brother, Where Art Thou?
[ Reply | Options ]-
[-]Sarah Palin's son, Trig, was one of the "hot topics" on The View today. Barbara Walters read a statistic that 90% of fetuses found to have down syndrome are terminated. Last poll I read said something like the split between pro-life/pro-choice in the US is close to 50/50, so I don't see, mathematically, how it can be that 90% of ds pregnancies are terminated.
80 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I think it is probably bc many people are pro-life until they are faced with having to raise a DS child.
[ Reply | Options ]Or that pro-choice people have a disproportionate number of DS pregnancies. Maybe it has something to do with age--women who wait to get married and have children in order to build their careers are statistically more likely to be pro-choice. Then they are older when they get pregnant so DS is more likely.
[ Reply | Options ]NP: Just a hunch, but I would guess what you say may be more true for NYC, where many women wait to have children... but for the country as a whole, I would guess more pro-lifers tend to have babies with down syndrome, because many don't believe in birth control and thus continue to have children into their forties. In our Catholic church there were many babies with downs-syndrome (usually the youngest in the family). I imagine that not every woman feels she can handle that at forty with many other children to care for as well (pro-life or not).
[ Reply | Options ]
-
I don't agree entirely. I opted at 40 not to have a cvs or amnio because I knew that whatever I learned wouldn't change anything, I was going to have that baby anyway. Some of us know what we believe on this subject without being tested.
[ Reply | Options ]-
Yes, but as someone pointed out below if you know you won't terminate there's no point in getting the testing done. By opting out of the tests I was making a descision to have my child regardless of the number of chromosones he had.
[ Reply | Options ]Not true. There is a point to getting testing, even if you will not terminate under any circumstances. If you do have a DB that will have a problem, then you have the time/ability to prepare for what's coming. Arranging for necessary specialists, arranging leaves/benefits, preparing older DCs, etc.
[ Reply | Options ]
-
The great irony is that the traditional "red" states have (1) higher divorce rates, (2) higher # of abortions and (3) higher % of poverty... People don't do what they "believe"--they are better at telling other people what to do...
[ Reply | Options ]residents of red states, on average, tend to be less eductaed, poorer, less white- this contributes to higher rates of all that you suggest above. The education levels and incerased poverty have way more to do with it than the political convictions-
[ Reply | Options ]i thought poor are more likely to have baby, whereas wealthy are more likely to have abortion?
[ Reply | Options ]actually, lots of poor women have multiple abortions- lack of access to health care and bad choices lead to lack of birth control, so they use abortion as a form of birth control- also teenagers pregnant more in poorer areas (and places where sex education is weak- hello red states!) and they get abortions-
[ Reply | Options ]
what a tragically black and white way to look at the world. do you teach your child that the people in "red states" are ignorant, right wingers? how sad.
[ Reply | Options ]
I wonder what the ages of the moms who terminate are vs those who don't. IME its easier to be pro-life, or see any issue in black and while with no shades of grey, when you're young. As we get older, wiser, and have more life experiences to draw from most issues enter the grey area.
[ Reply | Options ]I never claimed to know what others could/should do but I always said I would never opt for termination of my child. Then quad screen said 1:4 for Trisomy 18/21 and I did research on what T18/21 is. And I thought about the two kids we already had. And the world got very very gray.
[ Reply | Options ]
because a) many people who are pro-life don't have an amnio b/c they know they wouldn't abort no matter what the test shows and b) some people consider themselves pro-life but still make exceptions so in a poll they would answer that they are pro-choice, but what they really mean is that abortion isn't a form of birth control.
[ Reply | Options ]-
Yes, I think I have heard that some pro-lifers will not have an amnio because they feel it implies that they MIGHT abort.
[ Reply | Options ]I am prolife and I choose not to have an amnio. Not because of what it might imply to anyone. I choose not to because of the potential risk of amnio. I know many prolife people and having an amnio or not is just a matter of what they feel comfortable with. Some people just need to know. Just like some people just need to know the sex of the baby.
[ Reply | Options ]
-
Palin's behavior after she went into labor with Trig was so completely bizarre and showed such indifference to the health and well-being of her child that I can't help wondering whether she did not want him to live.
[ Reply | Options ]-
Not only give a speech--fly home from Texas to Alaska!! http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2008/10/palins-medica-2.html
[ Reply | Options ]Andrew Sullivan, the daily dish, is a kook. He is not a responsible journalist, but a conspiracy theorist who does not report facts.
[ Reply | Options ]Really? I'm not a huge fan of him personally, but don't consider him remotely kooky or inventive re facts. And the Atlantic is pretty tough re that kind of thing. What supposed non-facts do you have a quibble with here? Most people on UB would tell you that most airlines won't even let you fly after 8 mos. and it's true that she was leaking amniotic fluid. If that were you, would YOU get on a long flight? No way, unless you felt indifferent or worse towards your baby's health and survival.
[ Reply | Options ]
Yes, that whole thing was weird as hell. I never believed the "Bristol is Trig's real mother" rumor but Palin's behavior surrounding this birth was just crazy. I never thought of that as an explanation but actually I can sort of believe that she was losing her mind a little bit and feeling very, "Let God decide what he wants to happen," about it.
[ Reply | Options ]-
We're not the ones who got on a 8-hour plane flight while in labor. Now that's creepy.
[ Reply | Options ]-
Her water was broken! This was her fifth pregnancy, you can't tell me she didn't know that was a sign of labor.
[ Reply | Options ]Are you quoting Plain who said her water broke or are you getting the info from the dubious Andrew Sullivan of the "daily dish"... this is beyond creepy.
[ Reply | Options ]According to the New York Times, Palin herself has said that her water was broken when she got on the plane.
[ Reply | Options ]-
meant to add this http://www.ktuu.com/global/story.asp?s=8194634
[ Reply | Options ]
-
-
These studies are flawed in that people who pursue prenatal diagnosis in general are more likely to terminate an affected pregnancy. I am a genetic counselor and work in a population where I would say 80% of patients decided against amniocentesis/CVs, so we have no idea what they would do if they found out a pregnancy was affected. Prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome by maternal blood sampling is coming. When the risk from the procedure is taken out, and more people have testing, we may get a better idea of what the true statistic is.
[ Reply | Options ]I'm Catholic, would not have terminated a pregnancy and had an amnio. I grew up with a cousin who had Down's, and knew that if there was something wrong with my DB, I'd want to know, so that I could be prepared to manage the situation - line up the right specialists in advance, prepare other family members, arrange DH and my leave/benefits, etc. Just having an amnio doesn't automatically mean anything.
[ Reply | Options ]we tried 8 years to have my daughter and were told during one of her screenings she had markers for downs. i'm pro-choice, but refused a amnio and refused to abort. i never thought about raising a special needs child, but i knew that she was a miracle and couldn't wait for her arrival regardless. anyway, all went well despite concerns and we delivered a perfectly, beautiful, brilliant and happy baby. so you never know.
[ Reply | Options ]I am pro-choice but I knew I would never terminate a Downs baby. I did the nuchal fold testing (both for my twins and my singleton) to get some idea of the risks. When it was normal, I opted not to do CVS or amnio. If the nuchal fold had shown a high risk, I likely would have done more testing just to do as an earlier poster suggested - line up specialists, read up on the challenges etc. etc.
[ Reply | Options ]
bc many people don't think beyond elective abortions in the event of unwanted pregnancies - so they say they are "anti abortion" or "prolife". those same people can feel very differently when faced with the possibility of a db w DS or other serious medical/physical/congenital issues.
[ Reply | Options ]many people think that being "pro-life" means that they personally would never get an abortion and that being "pro-choice" means that they would. they don't get that it's a political viewpoint: being prolife means that you think that NO WOMAN should be allowed to get an abortion and being prochoice means you think that the choice to terminate or continue a pregnancy should be in the hands of the woman. It's kind of like being anti-poverty does not mean only that you personally don't want to be poor...
[ Reply | Options ]you are wrong... I am pro-choice for others, pro-life for myself. Quite frankly, if women want to abort their children there is nothing I could do to stop them. Therefore, I believe women should be able to abort their babies, I just would never abort my own.
[ Reply | Options ]-
or: that is EXACTLY what I am saying. pro-choice is a political stance meaning that you believe women should ahve the right to choose to terminate OR to keep a pregnancy. Pro-life means that you believe that women should NOT have that right - that the government should make it illegal to terminate a pregnancy. Neither has anything to do with what decision you would make about your own pregnancy.
[ Reply | Options ]I am prolife. Everything is not as black and white as your perceive in your views of what it means to be "prochoice" or "prolife" and most of America is in the gray area. I am cognizant that some mothers will abort their children.... and again, my energies are better spent in living my life than worrying about mothers who abort their children. Most of America is in the grey area. Not the black and white world you insist is reality.
[ Reply | Options ]
-
I am absolute about this. f there is any chance that baby would be DS or even be slightly mentally retarded, or have any birth defects, I would abort it. No way jose.
[ Reply | Options ]
[-]Excuse me if this is too gruesome for UB (back in the day I could've posted inside!), but how does one, uh, "prepare" for a**l sex?
24 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]imo, a lot of the prep is mental. you also need lube. my suggestion is also to do it with a condom, even with monogamous partner/dh because you shouldn't switch back and forth between anal and vaginal. that way do vaginal w/o condom, get all "juicy" then have him put on condom for anal, and he can just take it off to switch back to vaginal. i find it super hot but can only "take it" a few times a year.
[ Reply | Options ]Probably lots of clitoral and nipple stim, plenty of lube and something smaller than a penis in there first, while you're getting worked up. If you've had some smaller sized anal stimulation and then it's taken away, you'll find yourself wanting it back. Lots of lube is a definite.
[ Reply | Options ]i agree about the clitoral and nipple stim, but for me a finger(or other object) in my ass felt gross and clinical, although the first time i did it i was primed first with a finger. now, i can go straight to d*ck in ass after good foreplay and vaginal sex without a finger in ass first.
[ Reply | Options ]-
a long time ago I swore that it was exit only. Then I became more opened minded. Now I love anal. I can only enjoy anal if a have a vibrater on my clit. He knows that it wont happen if I'm not being pleased also. When I cum I want him to go deeper and then he cums. Of cours dh is gentle with the foreplay. He's excited that we have a kinky new way to enjoy sex.
[ Reply | Options ]-
-
not to be too gross, but don't do it soon after you have gone #2. i always thoroughly wipe with baby wipes beforehand. i've heard some do enemas, but i don't think it's necessary. the more important thing is to clean well afterward to make sure no booty juices travel to the vajayjay.
[ Reply | Options ]
-
-
i hate it...first time felt like i got stabbed in my gut..we haven't tried again, but i know he's into it...so i feel like trying again, cuz i want to make him happy...i sort of wish it was still stigmatized as a 'gay' thing cuz then i know DH wouldn't be into it. But years of porn have made his mind think it's a turnon...blech..
[ Reply | Options ]
[-]My 11 yr old dd was assaulted by a woman in the street--she was waiting for a traffic light and a woman came up to her and scratched her back with a key or similar--she has a 3 inch long reddened scratch on her back, and it was through several layers of clothing. The woman ran away before my dd or the adult she was with could do anything--would you follow this up with police? I know this is a relatively mild incident, but I'm concerned about anyone wandering around hurting children. This was a block or so from our apt in what I consider to be a very safe neighborhood.
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
[-]Help. 3yo son is starting to hit a lot - his sister, the cat, me. Separated from dh for almost a year now, but I think it's just sinking in for him.He is so broken hearted when I scold him, but I feel that I cannot allow the hitting. I think I do a good job of getting him to tell me when he is sad and misses his daddy, but it's just becoming really hard. I'm trying to make plans for him to see DH outside of the alternative weekends, but DH is either unavailable or can't commit until last minute.
10 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]You need to discipline when he hits. I know he may be angry but he needs to learn that it's not okay. I am sure he is upset/angry about it but it will continue if you don't try to stop the behavior. He is old enough to understand that you don't hit.
[ Reply | Options ]op: I will - but how long is it going to take to sink in? And time outs don't work because he just runs away - what works? I don't know how much more the cat can take ... also just hard to see my little baby boy changing into someone that hits, he was never like this.
[ Reply | Options ]Time outs work if you can put up with a few days of consistency. Every time he runs away you put him back. Do this as many times as it takes. It once took me about 20 times before she gave up and sat there and accepted it, once had a friend that had to do it about 40 times. Stay right there and when he sits up sit him back down right away. Be sure not to spend any time lecturing b/c it is suppose to be a punishment. Now all I have to do is say the word 'time-out' and my dd doesn't bother with whatever she was doing. Any men in your family (brothers or anything) that would get a little more involved so your son has some male interaction?
[ Reply | Options ]op: brother lives out of state. and I work full-time, so i have to cram all of this into evenings and every other weekend. but i hear you - and i will do it. he only does this when he is with me.
[ Reply | Options ]why not try praising good behavior such as if you don't hit for the whole entire day I will take you to toys r us instead of punishing which doesn't seem to be getting the desired results. also some alone time with just you and him would probably work wonders.
[ Reply | Options ]That only works for one day, unless he gets a new toy everyday that he doesn't hit. You shouldn't have to offer rewards for good behavior. While I do believe in positive reinforcement I don't think bribing a kid is a good thing. All he does is start up again and then stop, in order to get a new toy. Totally ineffective. Bad behavior that is harmful to others (like hitting) needs to be disciplined and saying positive things when he doesn't hit is also good. Give him lots of positive reinforcement when he doesn't hit and punish when he does, pretty sure he will realize he likes the attention more than the punishment.
[ Reply | Options ]
Get him a giant inflatable boppy cushion. Tell him to go hit that instead. He needs to take it out on something.
[ Reply | Options ]
[-]Does anyone else her have a problem with a certain singer LB who sings about spaghetti?
23 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]When my dd was born, my mother ran out and bought the CD and memorized the songs. I had to sit in the back of my parents minivan as they drove around singing that spaghetti song at the top of their lungs. My dd was 12w at the time and really didn't give a hoot, it really was one of the most annoying experiences I have had in the past few years.
[ Reply | Options ]-
-
UB is the ONLY place I have ever heard of this singer. I think someone on here is obsessed with her.
[ Reply | Options ]ITTTA!! I'm convinced it's either LB herself or her publicist that keeps posting these innane questions. The only problem with that they usually end up in a flamefest of how boring and banal her music is... probably NOT the type of feedback they would like. But I guess in that line of biz, any publicity is good publicity?! FWIW - my kids immediately ask us to turn the channel when Berkner comes on Nick, for which DH and I are all too eager to comply!! Cannot STAND her "music"
[ Reply | Options ]
Wasn't there some movie/TV show where Emma Thompson played a similarly annoying singer? Can't remember what it was but it was hilarious. I always preferred Raffi myself or heck--how about just regular music?
[ Reply | Options ]this is funny. She irritates me but someone on UB is really bothered by her because you post this every other day or so! Wonder if this thread will disappear...
[ Reply | Options ]
[-]Still waiting for SB Hunter score! Almost 8 weeks! I already called psychologist who said a week or two two weeks ago and that it was being verified!! Anyone else?
23 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]We were told that as well. We waited 7 weeks for score. I don't know if this is relevant but DCs score was very high - more than 160. So I'm presuming she is in Round II. I am hoping like hell she gets in!
[ Reply | Options ]
[-]Instead of having holiday pics taken before the holidays, anyone have holiday photos taken DURING the holidays when all family/friends are in one place? Was thinking this might make a nice gift for grandparents.
1 reply [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Sounds nice but depends on how many little kids there are. Trying to take a group picture with lots of toddlers is not easy b/c it is very hard to get them to look at the camera and sit still. If it is all older kids then it should be fine. However, most places charge a sitting fee per person so make sure to take that into account when you total the cost.
[ Reply | Options ]
[-]I did the post asking what you are most proud of, thinking of a big accomplishment that you worked hard to achieve. Now the opposite question: what single thing did you do as an adult/parent that you most regret or are most ashamed of? Some one thing you could go back and get a "redo" on if it were possible?
12 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]-
Said really hurtful things to my dh early on in our marriage that still affect us today. I wish I would have kept my mouth shut about past relationships. I think he still resents things I've said.
[ Reply | Options ]-
i'm not a parent, but the two bad things i did were ruin my gpa by working too much. i didn't save any money like i should have, and it was not worth the drop in GPA. with my 2.7, I am having a really hard time applying to any grad school, even conditionally. I have a 1400 GRE score but everyone looks at my GPA. I'm unemployed, and I can't even get a job as a grocery store bagger...sometimes I wish I chose a more 'vocational' field. I don't really care about being 'well rounded' when I don't have money to pursue any interests at all
[ Reply | Options ]
[-]Was in a store near ps 186 (I think) and those DCs were more obnoxious and entitled than any of the girls I knew at SS tt.
44 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]-
-
Right, a couple of obnoxious girls pretty much represent the entire public school student body. How do you know they were from public school, anyway?
[ Reply | Options ]No uniforms, upper east side about 5th grade flowing into cell phone store in Tory Burch shoes flipping their hair and speaking through their noses. And there were about three different groups of them. And you think that people on here who bash ss TT girls know EVERY girl in the entire class?
[ Reply | Options ]When you make a decision about a private school being filled with entitled celebs and money what are you going on for evidence?
[ Reply | Options ]um, the many celebs who have kids there? i think it's far less accurate to judge a public school based on a few students. privates are much smaller and much more homogeneous, socioeconomically and racially.
[ Reply | Options ]um, the few that do in each grade do not make up the whole school not even the whole grade and who is to say celeb kids are all awful?
[ Reply | Options ]i don't think celeb kids are awful. i would worry about my dc getting involved with kids who have a lot of money and not a lot of supervision. celeb/super wealthy kids seem more likely to fall into that category.
[ Reply | Options ]I don't think you understand there are plenty of wealthy dcs at public school in wealthy areas. You aren't required to have money to get to a great private in NYC you need to have intelligence, I know a lot of dumb wealthy people.
[ Reply | Options ]
-
Ummm, you'll have to give an example if you want people to agree with you. Also, you're probably talking about 10 year olds at the most who are not allowed out to lunch (school policy) so what the HECK are you talking about??? A little insecure at your SS tt???
[ Reply | Options ]I think OP was being a bit of a jerk but - she said nothing about lunch hour. I think she saw these kids after school. A weird thing is that it also sounds like the OP is comparing these current kids to the girls SHE went to school with - not the current 5th graders at SS schools (who I'm sure are the same as these 158ers). At any rate, these kids are growing up on the UES, for feck's sake. They ARE entitled children, whether they go to public or private school. A difference would be that 158 has 20% of their kids eligible for a free lunch, which is vastly different from being "poor" enough to get FA at a private school. But the richie riches at both kinds of school? The same.
[ Reply | Options ]
[-]Just took my measurements and I have the weirdest body. I am 36D-26-35. No wonder I am a size 2 even though I'm 130lbs. My ass is smaller than my middle area by 2 inches. Damn pregnancy pooch. I have such a weird and disproportionate body now. Sigh..
2 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
[-]Any tt alums sending their kids to Manhattan public schools? Please tell me your impressions of how their education compares to yours so far.
1 reply [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
[-]Do you guys think I could find a new college grad computer programmer to create a website for me in exchange for a free one bedroom apt in Manhattan? For example, one month's rent for a certain number of hours of work? What do you think would be reasonable in terms of hours per month of work I could expect?
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
[-]Off the "DIVORCE" post what is the worst divorce you have ever heard? Me: childhood sweethearts, DH takes off with make BFF, yes he was gay.
19 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]couple had to live bi-coastal for work reasons at the beginning of the marriage (ny/la) but they spent every weekend together. Went on for a few months. After a vacation in HI the wife gets a call from sister saying we can't keep this from you any longer but it seems dh is leading a double life with a totally different woman.... it was heart breaking
[ Reply | Options ]-
dh is an alcoholic screw-up. dw loves him but can't stand living with him anymore and he won't get help. she tells him she wants a divorce, doesn't want anything from him (he comes from a wealthy family), feels terrible. things didn't work out, but she didn't blame him. a few weeks later, she finds he has moved in with a girlfriend she did not know about, a girlfriend he knocked up and has been keeping secret! he lets this woman watch their child during his visits! and this woman is TRASHY. when she answers the phone, won't let dw speak with her own son, etc.
[ Reply | Options ]DH told on his honeymoon that DW made the wrong decision and wants out. Get divorced, she gets the house. He remarries and 3 months later DW2 tells him she's a lesbian and her partner moves into the house, DH moves to the basement, eventually they too get divorced. Not making this up.
[ Reply | Options ]DF was pregnant w/ # 3. Dh suggested that they sell their home to buy a bigger one, dh sells house and than backs out of new home purchase. Moves family into a dumpy rental tells dw that he is sleeping with her bf and wants a divorce. Df miscarries #3. Dh cancels all credit cards AND turns off the electricity on his own dcs. Dh (who makes over 2 million a year) hides assets and leaves the country.
[ Reply | Options ]-
My aunts husband ran off with her daughter (his stepdaughter), way before someone famous did the same thing.
[ Reply | Options ]
[-]Therapist mom here - had a long day, on a wave, ask me anything.
30 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]-
-
this being an anonymous board: do you ever get interested/emotionally involved in your job? Like you think about a patient's problem on the way home?
[ Reply | Options ]
-
-
I think many people these days are so lonely, especially in NYC. So many people get married, have kids, have friends and despite all that are so alone. I think I am a friend for hire sometimes, someone that can listen, and doesn’t judge, gives advice, sheds light on a new perspective, a new outlook. If you can help change someone’s perspective you can have change happen in the physical world.
[ Reply | Options ]What is your take on the fact that meds can change perspective in a very tangible way?
[ Reply | Options ]I’m not a Psychiatrist, I’m a LCSW. I am aware of the fact that some people need meds to be able to literally survive. I refer patients to Psychiatrists if I feel that they need more help. In a perfect world talking, opening up, facing issues would get people to straighten up, deal and get better. But in this world it’s not the case, plus some psychotic people do need meds and these are beyond the scope of my practice.
[ Reply | Options ]
Do you have times where you question the value of therapy, and your chosen profession altogether? I know several MSW's who feel this way, my sister is one of them.
[ Reply | Options ]How should I deal with my alcoholic borderline personality father? Cut him out completely? Sad he won't have a relationship with dd but maybe it is for the best.
[ Reply | Options ]I personally don’t believe in a rigid definition of “family” – sometimes blood can’t overcome hard personalities, sometimes past experiences affect the way we look at parents, siblings, etc. I have many patients that complain, especially around the holiday season, that they have to go to dinners with their family, however they don’t feel close to those people – a lot of anger, hurt bottled in, yet they go to dinner, act, put on a happy face while questioning the whole “production”. Your father may not have been a good father, and he may never be but he can still be an excellent grandfather, loving and caring, drinking problem or not. However, if he is not interested, doesn’t show affection etc, the fact that he is blood ...
[ Reply | Options ]-
Any advice on surviving 6th grade? I feel so helpless when dd reveals what's going on socially.
[ Reply | Options ]If she is being picked on or singled out, boost her up as much as you can. Even if it seems "silly" or like overkill, if you tell her she is beautiful or smart or [fill in the blank] literally every day, when she is an adult she will have better self-esteem than all of her friends. If she is one of the ones doing the ostracizing, do what you can to teach her compassion outside of her social circle. Perhaps volunteer work, but not by forcing her to be nice to kids considered outcasts - that will be too hard on her because of the other girls. Also, encourage her to be friends with boys.
[ Reply | Options ]
How does one go about choosing a good psychologist? What resources would you recommend?
[ Reply | Options ]-
Trailer trash mom here- how can I get a MILF with two kids to stop calling my boyfriend to ask if she can move in/spend the night?
[ Reply | Options ]-
Let me preface this by saying that I have definitely benefited from therapy at different times in my life. I do notice, however, that many people who choose to study/practice some sort of mental therapy are generally the people who seem most screwed up. Do you think the majority of people who choose some type of psycho therapy as a profession are trying to fix themselves?
[ Reply | Options ]
-
Most Watched Posts
- What's the funniest, best, worst thing your DC has done on a school interview/playdat...
- If there's the dc of a celeb/"bold-named" in your dc's class is it completely 'normal...
- My dd (who is almost 2 1/2) weighs 24 pounds, which isn't bad but puts her in the 10%...
- Has anyone with a still 3 YO scored above 142 on the SB?
Most Popular Topics
- Ivies+Duke+Chicago+MIT+Stanford+Amherst+Williams+Caltech (20005-09): Brearley 53%, Ho...
- Religious UBers: where is God when little girls and boys are getting raped and sodomi...
- Was in a store near ps 186 (I think) and those DCs were more obnoxious and entitled t...
- Based on the Ivy exmissions post, Brearley is a better school than Chapin?
- The fact is that schools promote their biggest donors to the best schools. So even if...
- I am going to get flamed but here we go, schools process is stressful for everyone no...
- I'm expecting triples girls! What do you think of the names Anita Louise, Clarice Ama...
- Annual fund question: is it common for a school to send out different versions of th...
UrbanBaby Asks...
Are you or your partner ever naked in front of your children?
Already voted? View Results
Flashback
The Kid's Menu
Video: Cooking With Grandma Gigi
Granddaughter Olivia helps make plantation casserole...
Also:Lunchbox Recipes
School Lunch Obsessive (video)
Make your Own Baby Food
Baby Food Taste-Off
Is it wrong to ask minors to mix martinis?
Can you tell a pregnant boozer to stop?
