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I have a 16 year old son and his 16 year old girlfriend is pregnant and her parents freaked out and kicked her out and now she's living in our house. And she's conflicted on what to do now and her parents are calling her a "whore and an immoral slut who has damaged their relationship with God and the Church." Need advice!
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I was stunned. I told them that I would support them and have told them the pros and cons of all their choices. I have welcomed her to my home and told her that she can stay with us.
[ Reply | Options ]Have her watch Juno have a good laugh and then sit them down and havea discussion about what they both want out of life. One of my friends in high school had the baby and gave it up for adoption. She still says it is one of the best decisions she ever made. I know it is hard they are young, but they need to make sure they are making the right decision for them not their (her) parents.
[ Reply | Options ]I have talked to them about their options and everything and have been gathering stats and information for them. I got information on open adoption in case they want to do that option.
[ Reply | Options ]It sounds like you are taking all the appropriate actions for your son and his girlfriend. thank goodness you are involved and seem to have a level head. It is a lot for a mom to go through as well. Good luck and tell the young lady to hang in there and everything will take care of itself. Whatever is meant to be will be.
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DS and his girlfriend are still thinking it over. She was brought up to believe that abortion is a major sin and that she'll be banned from the Church for it. But she also sees why it may be an option for her. With everything that's happened in the last few days, they both need a few days to relax and process it all.
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That's all you can do, she's legally of age to consent to sex (I'm pretty sure, she is at least in my home state) and therefor is responsible to decide if she wants to have it, keep it, give up for adoption or abort it. You can just be supportive and let her talk to you...and DS.
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that poor girl. reinforce that she didn't do anything immoral -- but she's pregnant and having a baby now will fundamentally change her life forever, and stats show not for the better.
[ Reply | Options ]i have no idea, think the parents will come along? they seemed f-up...maybe you should get a social worker involed.
[ Reply | Options ]I have a call into a friend of mine who is one. She will be coming by later today. I am not sure on the parents. They are blaming her and actually blamed me for promoting a culture of sex in my house. Which I didn't understnad
[ Reply | Options ]OMG they are focusing on the wrong things, their religion?? their poor child needs them. GL! How is your son handling it?
[ Reply | Options ]They are Catholic. They said that because DH and I have a 2 year old we promoted sex in our house.
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DS is handling it well. I think he is a bit shocked, etc. about it, but he has been a rock for his girlfriend. Comforting her, holding her and being there for her. He has talked to me and DH a few times one on one and he's in shock from the whole thing and upset that he didn't always use a condom.
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good for you for being supportive and sane. I think one day her parents will probably be sorry they were so rigid and cruel now, when she really needed them. But things being what they are, at least she and your son have you to turn to. Keep doing what you're doing, give them strength to make the best decision they can, and encourage her to re-engage her parents later, when she feels up to it. Right now, she's got to worry about her and that baby, not the "morality" of her parents.
[ Reply | Options ]Make sure you protect YOURSELF so they don't come after you for having their dd at your home.
[ Reply | Options ]16 year olds should NOT be having sex and people should not be harboring them in their homes! Shame on you, Shame on your DH and shame on your sex obsessed son and his equally sex obsessed girlfriend!
[ Reply | Options ]I am an adoptee. Please be very careful w/ open adoption. There are some people out there that will promise a birth mom everything and then disappear once it's finalized. Not everyone is like this, but WAY too many are. Open adoption agreements are written out but are NOT legally binding in MOST states. I have read of too many bad experiences w/ this. There is a good birth parents forum at http://forums.adoption.com/
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