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Hi, This is my first post and I'm not a parent, but a nanny. I am part-time and work with a couple who has adopted a baby girl. I've been with them since she was just a few weeks old and she's now 22 months. They are first-time parents and so far, it's been an adventure for all of us. I'm writing because lately she has been giving them a really hard time with sleeping. She screams and cries and gets herself hysterical for hours and will even throw herself around in fits when they put her down to sleep- either for a nap or at bedtime. She has never had this problem before and what's strange is that she goes down without a peep with me- both for naps and if I'm here for her bedtime. They have tried everything and are getting really frustrated so are just bringing her to bed with them, but they are not getting sleep themselves. Anyway, I just thought I'd ask if anyone has suggestions. What doesn't seem to make sense is that she is perfectly fine with me. Has anyone else experienced this difference? Thanks!
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It's not really relevant to the current situation, but for background info, I guess. They are a gay couple- two men, which is also probably irrelevant, but what the hell? Now you know that too. So, did you have a suggestion or did you just want to comment on the relevancy of the information I chose to disclose?
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How often are the parents with her? Do they work all the time? Sounds to me like she is more comfortable with you b/c she spends a lot of time with you. Do they have a bedtime routine that they follow every night?
[ Reply | Options ]Yes, they do have a routine and they do spend a lot of time with her. This has come on pretty suddenly. I know that can be normal with toddlers, but it just seems weird that she is not consistent about it with me. I know I'm not doing anything special- or at least I don't think I am. I suggested I come and help put her to bed with them here for a few nights to see what happens.
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Mom of 3 here. Kids are always better behaved for their nanny, IMHO. Now that I don't have one my kids are monsters. I am thinking about having her back to get them back in shape.
[ Reply | Options ]np: yes, that's exactly it. kids feel freer to act out with their parents than they do at school, or with their babysitters. parents should just keep insisting that the child go to bed at the appropriate time and let her CIO if need be. it's awful for the parents but will solve the problem quckly.
[ Reply | Options ]Thanks. That's what I was thinking. That she does feel freer to act out and have melt downs with them. I mean, she has only ever had a handful of very minor meltdowns with me at all, but sometimes she throws a tantrum within minutes of them coming home, which shocks me. They don't seem to be doing anything particular to feed into it or reinforce the tantrums, so it's a little strange. I feel bad telling them she's so good for me! Lol!
[ Reply | Options ]GL--also if they don't have What to Expect the Toddler Years they should get--it explains this developmental stage pretty well as i recall.
[ Reply | Options ]i'll check the shelves, but i don't think they have that one. she's also going through a little bit of separation anxiety lately too (with me also.) Very clingy and shy. I'm sure it's all part of the same phase. I just wish I could give them a definite suggestion. They've tried letting her cry it out, but she gets herself so worked up, she'll vomit!
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np: this is very very normal behavior. not to dis you, but kids often feel safer and more loved/acepted by parents, so they feel free to act up because its less risky. and, like all things, it will pass.
[ Reply | Options ]no, i totally agree. i almost felt like she was too "nervous" to act up for me in a way. i know that sounds weird and i don't mean she's afraid of me or anything like that, but just that exact phenomenon that you describe. Maybe I should be insulted she doesn't act up with me! Lol! Just kidding. :)
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