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i am having my first miscarriage. i am going in for a d&c next monday. this pregnancy was the result of ivf (my second cycle) so i have missed a good amount of work for my egg retrieval, transfer adn all the monitoring. my boss hasnt asked any questions and has been totally accomodating. i havent told her what is going on, but thinking that maybe i should just to not seem like i am taking advantage... thougths?
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I would tell her that you need Monday off b/c you have a doctor's appointment. It's direct but if she asks why you need the whole day off you might have to tell her. Maybe you could also send her an e-mail and tell her that way, if it would be to emotional for you to do it in person. Tell her also that you appreciate how accommodating she has been through all of this before you tell her that you need the day off.
[ Reply | Options ]Sorry! It is a bit awkward. I would just say it is a procedure related to IVF. Offer to work some time this weekend to make up for missed time. I would rather that than feel that boss is too intimate with my life. It makes them think less of you.
[ Reply | Options ]she doesnt know that i am goingthrough ivf now either (i just returned from maternity leave earlier this year too)
[ Reply | Options ]Could you just call in with suspected flu? Naughty, but the perfect excuse at the moment.
[ Reply | Options ]thats probably what i am going to do. i just feel badly about all the work i am missing - preschool application process, doc appts for 15yo DS, ivf monitoring.... it just feels like i am taking advantage...
[ Reply | Options ]Maybe offer to do a couple of hours extra here and there, or finish up something at the weekends? Boss will appreciate acknowledgement of their flexibility.
[ Reply | Options ]I would even take Monday and Tuesday, get doctor to write a note saying you should not return to work until wednesday..rest up, and get ready for another round. I have started arranging doctors visits at weekends, and some pks do weekend visits too...it is a fulltime job doing the pk thing, as well as working, and not feeling well. Look after yourself..GL
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It depends on your relationship with your boss. I told mine when I had a miscarriage since I had to miss work. We weren't close, but his wife had had a few mcs and he was extremely understanding. I think it's better to explain that you are having a miscarriage than say "it's a procedure related to IVF" and most people will be very understanding. Unless you think your boss will have an issue with you becoming pregnant, I think telling her the truth is best in this case.
[ Reply | Options ]How would your boss react if she knew that you are trying to get pregnant? Is your office environment supportive of pregnant women and moms? If so, I think I would tell her because you have will likely try IVF again (right?) and it will just be easier to have it out there. But only you can know what is best for your situation. Sorry about the mc. My heart goes out to you.
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