[-]just found out I am pregnant yesterday and just now got hit by a huge wave of nausea. Could morning sickness start this early or am I getting a stomach flu?
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]They do not call it morning sickness for nothing. I dont know about everyone else, but my nausea abated somewhat in late afternoons. If you just got hit with a nausea it could be 1000 different things. Do not worry, even it it is a stomach virus it will pass. The good news is that you are pregnant. Congratulations!
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[-]Please tell me that woman who are ambitious and like to have fun do not become shadows of their former self once they have children. Expecting and was really looking forward to DD and even had visions of our first trip to Paris. Just spent afternoon with a DF who has a new born and left feeling like it's going to really suck, she said she doesn't even feel good about herself right now...having a "oh s&*t, what have I gotten myself into" moment.
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Oh, wow, you are really deep, aren't you? And perfect mother material, I may add.
[ Reply | Options ]it's a lot rougher than they tell you (physically, mentally, emotionally), but also wonderful in a way that was completely new to me anyway. don't think of it as losing your former self, she's changing is all~growing. paris may need to wait for a little while longer.
[ Reply | Options ]Why don't they tell you? Is it bad to admit that it's rough? I expected no sleep but I never expected to not feel good about myself :( Thanks for the perspective.
[ Reply | Options ]OR above: it was not rough for me. But I always had my sleep, I had a live in nanny who bottle fed dd. I know what you think - I had the same moments of panic when I was pregnant. But for me nothing changed, except for the additional joy of having dd.
[ Reply | Options ]sleep deprivation, hormones out of whack, stress of your brand new life. just when you think everything's hell, DC lets out the biggest yawn you've ever seen and your heart actually melts into a puddle of happiness unlike any you've ever known. remind yourself, you are strong enough to endure this (we are built for this after all) and it's worth it. try to get as much sleep as you possibly can, and let your "village" help. Once you get your mind back and the fog clears, you will feel much better. I felt like a woman for the first time.
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Motherhood is AWESOME! You do change, but kids are the most incredible thing that's ever happened to me. And I've traveled around the world, graduated from an Ivy league school, and have done well career wise. However, I have put my career on hold for the moment (though I want to go back to work eventually). The first 3 months are the hardest - then it gets easier. Congrats and good luck! By the way, I was out 2 nights this past weekend past 2AM (and have 3 kids). So you can still have a social life. You can't sleep in, but you can have a social life.
[ Reply | Options ]That is too bad your girlfriend feels that way - sounds like maybe she has postpartum depression. This was definitely not me - I was on a high after my dc was born. And she was not an easy baby - colicky and would NOT sleep. Motherhood is the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me. I had a successful career and traveled a lot, went out to the best restaurants, etc. but I don't miss it in the least. Was 42 when I got pregnant so maybe that is part of why I feel the way I do. In any case, these years go by so fast and I don't want to miss a moment. Good luck to you.
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http://www.nycdoulacoop.com/live/ Great women, all different levels of expertise depending on what you need and want to pay. You have already made a great decision to hire one. Good luck interviewing and finding the perfect doula!
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[-] Need Neighborhood advice DH and I are 29 and expecting our first in August. We are currently looking to move next month , we are looking at Tribeca or UES , I prefer tribeca as I feel like it has a younger vibe and I will fit in more as a younger mom (by nyc standards) I am also hispanic and feel out of place on the ues (maybe my own insecurities) thoughts ??
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]whatever you do, RENT! you never know how things will change once the db arrives. personally, i grew up on the ues but could never move back there. all the character is gone. that said, central park is outstanding...
[ Reply | Options ]If you like tribeca maybe check out battery park city - it is great for the baby years, uncrowded streets for pushing strollers, lots of playgrounds, close to tribeca for restaurants, etc and pretty good public schools. Sometimes it doesn't feel like a NYC neighborhood, which is why we will probably move when dd gets older but it is sure easy.
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[-]Looking for someone well priced in NYC that does good prenatal massages. Any recommendations would be much appreciated!
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[-]35 weeks pregnant and losing weight (4 lbs). Is this normal? Dr didn't seem worried but this definitely didn't happen last pregnancy.
2 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]yes it is very common to lose weight at the end. I did with all 3 pregnancies and have heard the same from friends. I forgot the reason why but I remember someone telling me this when I first got pregnant with #1 and didn't believe it but true. Right around 34-5 weeks it started.
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[-]Need help finding new ob or midwife. Wish list: midtown or east side of Manhattan, good office, not bad waits, great clinician, responds to calls. Someone you really trust. MUST accept insurance. Am open to all hospitals EXCEPT NYPres UWS. Thanks!
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]i just bumped into my Ob who i had thought left practice. turns out she is starting her own OB/GYN practice and she is FABULOUS. kind, smart and has 2 dc of her own. Dr Laura Cha, now on 80th and park. 212 288-2788. takes all kinds of insurances
[ Reply | Options ]Can you tell me more about her - is she very pro-intervention? spends time w/you or only when you have questions...?
[ Reply | Options ]i don't know if you're still watching OP, but Dr Cha does a good job at being personal and getting to know each of patients well. i don't consider her overly interventional, but i needed a c/s due to breech position after my water broke at 37 weeks so i didn't get to labor all that much...
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I like Katrina Bradley at Roosevelt. Very good doctor. Beware, the office is very cramped, but I rarely have to wait and the nurses are friendly. But again, I must warn you that the office is not nice.
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Granted I'm pregnant with my first, so I don't know what he'll be like through the end and delivery, but I really like Alex Tepper on E. 96th St., delivers at Mt. Sinai, is solo but gets the drs at Maternal Fetal Medicine to deliver if he's unavailable, little to no waits, great office staff, he either gets on the phone when I call or calls me back (usually w/in 20 mins, always before the end of the day), and takes insurance (I have Oxford).
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[-]Looking at rental bldgs on UES; anyone have any experience/info to share on The York (79th/York), the Electra (91st/1st), The Clermont (in 80s), or Yorkville Towers (92nd/3rd)? TIA
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I live in the area and know people that were happy at Yorkville Towers. It does have a bit of a grandparent complex feel on the outside, but I think they redid the lobbies? Since it's on third, you can avoid the hill and the second avenue subway work.
[ Reply | Options ]try this website http://www.nybits.com/
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[-]FREE MASSAGE THERAPY OFFERING FOR PREGNANT WOMEN The Swedish Institute, New York's premiere massage therapy school is hosting a continuing education program in prenatal massage and is looking for mothers-to-be to participate in a massage practicum. Women will receive massage therapy from a practicing massage therapist learning this specialty, under the supervision of a recognized specialist in prenatal massage, Linda Hickey. The workshop, Pre- and Perinatal Massage Therapy, is holding this practicum on the afternoon of April 21, 2010 Participation is free of charge and is open to women who are beyond twelve weeks and whose pregnancies are low risk and without complications. Interested women should call Karen at Body Thera...
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[-]11 wks preg with my third (4yo and 2yo) and I am already showing! Also, I swear I think I can feel the baby move, which seems strange at such an early point. Third time is a charm I guess.
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[-]Oh man! I posted a question the other day on C-sections & I just saw that in the ensuing conversation some mean troll drove off the last CNM who was still bothering with our sorry UB asses. People, it's okay to exchange information and it's GOOD to hear from well-informed posteres with different perspectives. It doesn't mean you're being called "wrong" or should get disrespectful.
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OP: There were 2 with the CNM, one that was actually interesting and civil and one that ended with someone telling her to get a new job and her saying she felt really insulted and was going to stop giving her input on UB.
[ Reply | Options ]I am that CNM and I really think I am going to stop. I am fighting a losing battle and no one really wants to hear the answers to the questions they ask. Not from my perspective anyway. I think I will just stick to giving advice to my clients and the people I know IRL who are receptive.
[ Reply | Options ]^^Really, I got into this to help mothers and babies and I am just seeming to piss you all off.
[ Reply | Options ]I am the OR in that conversation (the one that ended civilly) and I think the problem there was this: I asked you a question about my very specific situation (baby being positioned badly), and you without knowing my history did your best to answer the question based on the perspective of a CNM and what is perhaps a more holistic approach to pregnancy and childbirth. I think sometimes we, as non-professional posters, think we are giving enough pertinent info when perhaps we are not. Conversely, you may have been trying to give as specific an answer as possible given what you felt was a general situation. All of this misaligned to produce hurt feelings on BOTH of our parts. I do take my health very seriously, am and was the uber-careful pregn...
[ Reply | Options ]^^cut off again! I was the uber-careful pregnant woman. You had know way of knowing this based on my post, so of course when you told me I could have been "MORE" proactive, I was offended! Childbirth is such a personal experience for a mother, and it's wonderful that there are care providers out there like you who also personally invest themselves in their patients. I agree that perhaps our conversation, if had in person, would have been perceived very differently on BOTH of our sides. I hope you do not stop posting here, because it's good for women to know they have options outside of the typical OB practice, but maybe our situation can be a lesson to everyone on here that we need to be more careful when reading others' posts, more though...
[ Reply | Options ]^^ more thoughtful in our responses, and less quick to assign tone based on our own personal feelings.
[ Reply | Options ]I just really dont like to get confrontational. Its not my style. I think what I think and I do what I do, and I am very successful at it. A client of mine suggested I get on this site since so many women post about pregnancy and childbirth, and I wanted to find a forum that had more educated women, because that is who I cater to. But I was offended as well, that you thought I was anti-OB when I work very closely with them. I have to. Its just that sometimes when you are advising someone on an emotionally charged topic, they get defensive, and its hard to convey tone and emotion in text. I still stick to what I said, I have been burned on giving advice for a while.
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OP: OR above is so right - I think you two would have had an amazingly productive conversation IRL. But I can see why a professional who's trying to answer a question seriously would get frustrated when some troll just barrels in and tries to be hurtful because she has an ax to grind or she's mean or whatever. It's an inevitable but very frustrating thing about an anonymous message board.
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That sucks (I didn't see the exchange) but I do have to say that maybe people need to do a better job of ignoring the idiots and trolls?? I like coming here every so often to break up the monotony of the workday and I take the bad with the good, kwim? Sometimes stuff upsets me but if I were to dwell on it of course I'd leave. ALL online forums are like that.
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Someone in the same post diagnosed me as not having had back labor wi/my posterior baby because I didn't get an epidural. Basically, she informed me that it was impossible that I could have endured the pain! Obviously she knew nothing about me or my situation. I try to remind myself of that when people respond in whacky ways ...
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[-]does any one have a recommendation for a French speaking nanny. We are looking for someone full time to care for a 2 1/2 year old and a newborn. We are on the Upper West side. Thanks in advance.
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[-]How is it with yoga and early pregnancy? Are all the twists fine? Or any I should avoid?
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]ALSO - your body temp should not get too high. I would do cat/cow any time i felt my body getting too warm. If you take a prenatal class a read-up on what to avoid, you can take any basic class and make your own personal adjustments throughout the class. Just tell the teacher in the beginning that you are preggo. The teacher may even suggest some variations for you.
[ Reply | Options ]Had a teacher say you're not supposed to do cat, but who knows? After mo. 3/4 go to prenatal..
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we did cat/cow in prenatal today. i was going to regular yoga in the early days (before i was sharing the news) and one teacher "helped" me into lots of uncomfortable twists. recently, i told the teacher i was pg before class and she gave me tons of modifications. so definitely tell the teacher, even if you aren't telling other people yet, and she can look out for you.
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[-]Best lite double stroller? I just realized I am probably going to need one from time to time. But I would still like it to be slim and highly functional. Using an UppaBaby GLuxe right now. TIA.
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[-]If you had a home birth, or birth at a freestanding birthing center, how did you get the people around you (and especially DH) on board? I feel like I'm never going to convince him. He agrees with me about everything -- the potential for iatrogenic complications, the over-medicalization of childbirth, the astounding number of questionably necessary c-sections -- but then he's all like, "But I'd never forgive myself if something happened" and it's end of story. So frustrating!
44 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]This isn't what you want to hear, but I have 2 close friends to whom "something happened." The fact that there were at a hospital saved dc's lives. I'm not saying that you shouldn't use a birthing center, but I "get" how your dh feels. I had a rocky delivery myself and would have had to be transferred to a hospital if I hadn't started out there.
[ Reply | Options ]I gave birth 3 times at the Birthing Center at Roosevelt.Twice, it was just as I'd wanted-hottub,partner,relaxed,midwife,privacy. Once, I needed some extra monitoring and we moved to L&D floor.There was zero interference from anyone,midwife stayed and saw me through a labor which may easily have been medicated and led to other unnecessary intervention elsewhere.There are 2 sides to every coin-and there's also the edge.When the times come, the objective is clear:Get the baby out safely and keep everyone well.
[ Reply | Options ]btw, I have quite a few friends who've done home deliveries and all was well. Hospitals may not perform procedures which you don't permit.I'm well versed on the (sad)stats of truly unnecessary interventions in hospital births and am very strong for choice BUT you can be informed,state your wishes and have it your way.I'd hate tohave a beautiful home birth traumatized by calling 911 for any reason, so I loved the option of SLR birthing center.Are you in nyc?
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I am a doctor (not OB) and I think your best option is birthing center. best of both worlds, I have tons of friends who have gone this route and are very happy. homebirth is DANGEROUS. take your DH with you to meet a midwife who you are considering using at x birthing center, go for a tour, let him see how safe it is, and how it is "real," not some new age spa 500 miles from civilization, but is really state of the art. homebirth- doubt youll convince him if he is apprehensive already, and please, please, dont try. I have heard (and seen) one too many horror stories in the ER.
[ Reply | Options ]Please don't go around saying homebirth is dangerous. The studies and statistics show that it is actually safer than birthing in a hospital for healthy low-risk women.
[ Reply | Options ]I posted above this MD and agree w/you BUT there are far more hosp births than home-esp documented, so the percentages need to be proportionately viewed.I'd much rather deliver away from a med facility but have some children in my life who may not have made it w/out extra help. It's a tough,personal call and hard to sell in this age.
[ Reply | Options ]Not trying to sell it, just to protect the option for those who want it because it IS a personal call and mothers deserve to have that choice. And you can view stats from countries where homebirth is more prevalent like sweden, norway, and spain and they all come to the same conclusion, that for healthy, low risk women, home birth is a safer option for mother and baby. It deserves to be respected and protected.
[ Reply | Options ]Just because you are healthy and "low risk" doesn't mean something bad won't happen. I was healthy, young and low risk and gave birth to a child with a severe (ultimately fatal) heart defect - if we had had a home birth she would never have made it to the hospital in time for us to have the chance to try to save her. I would NEVER have forgiven myself.
[ Reply | Options ]Ok but that is you. And that is one isolated story. And ultimately, the hospital didnt make much difference in the outcome. I am very sorry and I don't mean to sound heartless. Just that not everyone who has gone through something like that feels the way you do. And one story should not poison the truth and the facts that if you are healthy and low risk, you have a better chance at not being intervened with and having a better healthier birth if you are at home.
[ Reply | Options ]Remind me, what exactly is the point here? To have a lovely birth experience with no interventions or to come out of it with a living, healthy child?
[ Reply | Options ]Both. and you have a better chance at both if you give birth at home. the margin is very slim, but for people who think both of those things are important, they are better off at home.
[ Reply | Options ]I am poster above whose baby died. My next two dbs were born in the hospital, in birthing rooms, with a wonderful OB and zero intervention. No epidural, no pitocin, no episiotomy, nothing. Pick your doctor well and if all goes smoothly with the birth you can have a perfectly lovely birthing experience in a hospital. The most important goal, though, is to come out of it with a healthy baby.
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NP: Can't stand these, "ok but that is you," it's an "isolated story" responses. Would you ever wnt that isolated story to be YOU? And in this situation she did say the hospital made a HUGE difference in the outcome--if they hadn't been at a hospital, her DB wouldn't have survived en route from home/birthing center. Did you not read her post? Why discount this side of the issue just because it doesn't remain consistent with your statistics? Why are you calling her story "poison"?
[ Reply | Options ]NNP: I can't stand people who don't understand statistics! There are people with awful outcomes for everything situation you can name. There are bound to be some awful stories about home births out there. There are also MANY stories about babies dying in hospitals. Hospital-acquired infections, the increased risk to babies from unnecessary C-sections, these are all things that mothers risk by having their babies in hospitals. Any medical provider who is honest and knowledgeable about the hospital in which they work understands this. I don't think there is a "right" place to give birth, but you have got to understand that anecdotes mean very little.
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But every time a woman has a baby she is one isolated story! Yes, "on average" something may be the case, but if you happen to be the one low risk woman who has a fatal outcome, it's not acceptable to you. What do you say to that woman? "Oh, yeah, but statistically, you SHOULD have been ok"???
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not what the ACOG says, not sure which studies you are reading. at any rate, if the OP wants to find a middle-ground, compromise- where both she and her DH will be happy, birthing center is probably her best bet. much easier sell than homebirth.
[ Reply | Options ]I agree with you. I don't think women should want a homebirth at any cost. I had one c-section and 3 subsequent homebirths. I never would have been able to do this if I did not have my dh's support. But also, he knew after our first dd's birth that I would not give birth in a hospital again if I could help it. The birth center is a good compromise but OP should know that you can get railroaded with medical intervention very easily, especially in a hospital birth center.
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MD mom from above, and yes, from what I have read and heard, that seems to be true. freestanding birthing center may be her best option if she wants to avoid interventions at "any"(I use that word very reluctantly obviously) cost. just make sure you are covered, know what their "worst case scenario" plan is. but freestanding birthing center may work for both u and dh.
[ Reply | Options ]DF gave birth in a freestanding birthing cented - had cephalo-pelvic disproportion - the baby could not get through her cervix - and had to go by ambulance to the affiliated hospital which was quite far away, lying to the ambulance attendance about what was going on and haow advanced her labor was so that they would take her to the affiliated hospital, not the crappy nearby one. Her baby was in distress when they got there and they said she was very lucky db made made it.
[ Reply | Options ]Of course they said that. People who work in hospitals think everyone should give birth in a hospital. They will say anything to scare you out of your alternatives. I gave birth at home (vbac) 3 times and no bad outcome for me...So you tell me how much one persons story means in lieu of many comprehensive medical studies.
[ Reply | Options ]And I'm sure there are people who really enjoy driving without seatbelts, and it's fine, a much more enjoyable experience, except when it's not fine. My friend experienced a uterine rupture when attempting a VBAC and she and her baby nearly died. Glad it was fine for you, but we don't all have to drink your kool-aid.
[ Reply | Options ]Exactly, this! What most women do not realize is that you have much more power in a hospital birth setting than you think you do. Educate yourself, be aware of your choices when it comes to medications, procedures, your hospital's C-rate, etc. What's more important discuss these things with your OB or midwife in advance of your birth! If you're uncomfortable with your OB or the hospital he/she's affiliated with, switch your care. We are not voiceless--if everyone goes in on the same page allowing for some flexibility if need be, you can have the birth experience you want and have a healthy, happy outcome for all.
[ Reply | Options ]NP: Nice speech in theory, but I don't think it really works that way in practice. Maybe there are 1 or 2 enlightened NYC hospitals that are willing to be flexible, but once you get out in the suburbs or the rest of the country, it's a pretty dismal situation. At best, you can pick your battles and maybe win one or two. At worst, you get basically blackmailed by your dr and the nursing staff into accepting practices and interventions that you know are unsound.
[ Reply | Options ]2nd MD mom here-I agree that a birthing center with a nice midwife is the best bet here. You will have a lovely complication free delivery, but just in case there is a neonatologist standing by for you. Something that you won't have at a free standing birthing center. If the midwife feels that there is something wrong with the baby on delivery, a neonatologist can walk into that room in a matter of minutes and take over. You as the adult will fare fine, a fragile newborn is a whole different matter. Plenty of my MD friends have delivered with midwives, but for goodness sakes, make sure you have a good NICU unit close by
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I am a CNM (nurse midwife), had my first baby in a hospital (good experience) and second at home (good experience.) All of my training has been in a hospital setting. First off, birth is simply not risk-free. There are risks to both environments. The practices/interventions in hospitals carry certain risks, and there are a few situations where being at home could be dangerous. However, the safety data for planned home births for low-risk pregnancies is excellent, stands up to hospital data any day. You should only consider a homebirth midwife who has access to all the basic safety equipment (oxygen tank, meds for hemorrhage, etc). You should also only consider somebody who can adequately assess you throughout pregnancy to make sure yo...
[ Reply | Options ]This is all great advice. I'd add this... find a midwife who has had experiences which are less-than-ideal (home birth or otherwise), someone who has attended a lot of great births but also coped with some emergencies. Don't be afraid to ask the tough questions and get specifics about how she has handled tough situations. I remember reading a quote once from an OB who said his job was, "98% boredom and 2% sheer terror". You want to find someone who's experienced the 2% and has the rose-colored glasses off. KWIM?
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Sometimes something happens. You'll probably talk to your midwife about that and be asked to sign something saying that sometimes something happens. If something does happen, you need to be able to see it as a natural occurrence and make peace with it. If your husband won't be able to make peace with that, you're putting him in a terrible position, should something happen. There are other ways to have a natural birth.
[ Reply | Options ]What are you saying? You need to make peace with the fact that if you give birth at home your baby might die? That's the natural occurence you're saying is an acceptable risk of a home birth in your view?
[ Reply | Options ]the baby could die in a hospital. babies are born all the time with problems that no doctor can fix and it does not matter where they are born. Mothers die in the hospital while having c-sections... babies die in the hospital when incompetent or inexperienced nurses ignore the signs of uterine rupture... Please. Do some research. read the studies.
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Is this your first birth? FWIW I know several women (including myself) who had successful home births with 2nd and 3rd babies, none with 1st... I know 3 friends who tried and they were all transferred to the hospital. I had my 1st at an in-hospital birth center (not in NYC) and my 2nd at home. In all honesty, my birth center birth was a better experience (all stuff beyond my control). My biggest advice is to keep an open mind. Birth can be unpredictable and there is no "better" or "best" way to bring a child into this world. Healthy mom and baby is the most important thing.
[ Reply | Options ]Have a birth plan ready and make sure your OBGYN has a copy and make her/him understand that this is what you want. Mine followed to the letter. As long as you are not extreme or unreasonable when it comes to safety, you should have no problem. Hospital births are not traumatic, they are safe and comfortable for those who keep their minds on the fact that the people are there to help you and your baby should something go wrong. But if you have preferences they will be considered or adhered to. My hospital was NSUH in LI and I cannot say enough nice things about the experience.
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[-]If both you and your husband are arguing over circumcising your son, who wins? There is a poster below who says her husband wouldn't have more of a say in it, but ONE of you has got to have more of a say, the kid either gets circumcised or not, someone wins, someone does more of a say!
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Simple. Don't circumcise and continue discussions. You can always circumcise later, but you can't uncircumcise.
[ Reply | Options ]Yes, this is what we did. I didn't want to circ and won out because we could always do it later. There's no medical need to do it, so I didn't feel like I needed to defer to my dh's desire to do it for aesthetic reasons. Even my Jewish friends who did it said that after watching the process, they wouldn't do it again.
[ Reply | Options ]NP: We had a different experience. We did have a medical reason for considering circumcision (DS has a kidney abnormality and there are some studies that suggest circumcision reduces the risk of UTI in children with compromised kidneys). Before the birth, doctors said we could wait and see, but that circumcision is much more traumatic for older infants/children than newborns so we elected to do it within a few days of his birth. No regrets.
[ Reply | Options ]There are some things you should not see. Just turn your head during the ceremony. The truth is (and what no one is admitting) that it is unlikely that DS after living with an uncircumcised penis for many years will decide to have it snipped. He's comfortable the way he is. So in effect we are making the decision for him. That's why I'm having problems with all this "he can decide later" reasoning.
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You really can't decide later. It's a momentary discomfort at birth, excruciating later.
[ Reply | Options ]It hurts an infant *more* than an adult. Two main reasons - you can't use general anesthetic on an infant, and you also have to separate the foreskin from the glans, which is the most painful part of the procedure. If you wait, it's also safer, and the results are cosmetically better too. Almost no chance of needing a "revision" or second operation either.
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we discussed it a lot and read all the information out there. then he said, unless our son was gay then a man's opinion was probably not as useful as a woman's opinion, aesthetically. so I polled my friends who'd had the most male partners (women friends and gay man friends just in case, lol) about their opinions of each and why, and in the end we did not circ. there ya go!
[ Reply | Options ]DH here won that discussion. It came down to pure "design aerodynamics". The neccessity debate is irrelevant. Just ask yourself this: Do I want my son to be in the minority with a different shaped penis? How will he handle being a source of curiousity in the locker room?Will his future partners deal with it or want the familiar shape?
[ Reply | Options ]The minority question doesn't work anymore. It's practically 50/50. The deciding factor for us was, its ds penis and ds can make the decision when he's old enough.
[ Reply | Options ]Bull! They're still in the minority and to make your son decide later in life is just idiotic. Your DH should've manned up, gotten it done and over with. DS can then spend time grappling with which college to attend or some other major life decision.
[ Reply | Options ]np and what is wrong with a man deciding about his own penis? How is that idiotic? I find it strange that so many parents don't consider letting the owner decide.
[ Reply | Options ]Look, how many men would let a knife get anywhere near their cocks later in life? So all this talk about letting DS decide later in life is so lame. If DH wants it to be circumcised or not just decide and stop the hand wringing. No need to bring up a tribe in Africa; that just sounds racist and ignorant.
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Ugh, this is such stupid and specious reasoning. Why not make your son feel strong and proud and independent rather than encouraging conformity in all aspects (right from birth!)?
[ Reply | Options ]Funny, my DH is uncircumcised and athletic. Maybe he got so good at sports because he didn't spend all his time in the locker room playing with other boys' dicks?
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What I never understand is when we talk about this, people in the US never talk about STDs. Circumcision greatly reduces the chances of getting all sorts of diseases, and consequently reduces the amount the diseases spread. Why is this never mentioned, because to me it is a good reason to circumcise.
[ Reply | Options ]It is absolutely NOT a good reason to circumcise. It's a good reason to educate your kids, male and female, on using prophylactics and safe sex in general.
[ Reply | Options ]yes, but how far does that go? Honestly, I know a ton of men and women who still really only care about pregnancy when thinking about sleeping with someone. When I was dating, it amazed me how few guys wanted to use condoms and even fewer who asked about STD history or got themselves checked. Realistically, I think that people get over their fears of unprotected sex after college (if they ever had them at all).
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it is simply NOT TRUE: http://tvnz.co.nz/view/page/411366/1650681http://tvnz.co.nz/view/page/411366/1650681
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i am 23 years old, got cirmcumsicion 3 months ago. I had normal penis my whole life, and a small bruise got me fimosis and had to go througth circumsicion. Having tried both forms, circumsiced is a bit more comfortable during sex. Still i would prefer to have it like before, extra protection and preserves sensibility. Not that i miss it too much tougth, not a revelant change, i suggest leaving it there unless medical circumsicion is needed like in my case
[ Reply | Options ]I always thought I had the trump card in this debate but you win. I'm a circ'ed dad who after research and discussion decided to not circ my sons. #2, because of a issues with his bladder and ureter, had to be circ'ed later on. I'm with you. Unless you have cultural/religious stuff involved, leave the penis be. (And the "oddity in the locker room" argument is stupid. I played organized sports through college. I could not tell you which of my team mates were or were not cut.)
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Well, I am Jewish and DH isn't. DH doesn't want the little guy slashed, but if #2 is a DS I think he will most likely give me more of a say since I would like him to be circumsized. By the way, DH's parents went back and forth and circumsized him at one month. They recommend deciding right away and sticking with your guns. I 100% see both sides (yes or no), but this he can decide stuff is silly to me.
[ Reply | Options ]My husband is British - my OB GYN was Jewish - we live in the US. She told me that my son should match is father. We didnt' do it. My son got a urinary tract infection at 12 weeks and they had to shoot dye up his penis. He wailed like you cannot believe and so did I. I regret it. They say that infection is rare but...I so regret not getting him circumcised.
[ Reply | Options ]1) I don't believe you. 2) You have no absolute proof that his foreskin actually "caused" that particular infection; it's likely something YOU DID or didn't do, such as improper diaper changes, and whatnot, caused it. 3) Do you honestly think that the UTI (you caused) is more painful than CRUSHING your son's nerve-packed foreskin off the end of his penis is?? Don't be absurd! --- His body; his choice.
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I find this debate always fascinating because I am from Europe where boys are not c'ed. In my country, it is viewed as something quite shocking to do. US pediatricians actually do not recommend c'ing. http://www.aap.org/publiced/br_circumcision.htm It seems more and more people educate themselves and choose not to circumcise anymore here in the US
[ Reply | Options ]I am European as well and I totally agree with the poster above. Some friends I know circumcised their son with the result that his urine tract now are not straigth or something like that. Too see small baby boys with the crust after being circumcised is for me a bit offensive and I can't understand why anyone would inflict pain on their newborn.
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Dont be so naive, the FACTS are that there are some benfits to being circ'd. Look it up ol chap. Not circing your son is a cruel and unusual punishment. Everybody I know to be circed are very happy that they were, but almost all say that if they werent they could not go through with the operation because of the thought a getting their cock cut. PUtting a child in a position to decide is unfair, its a painful procedure that should have been done when they are infants so that they dont remembver it and are not traumatized. It not fair to wait when the childs memory has developed and then theres no forgetting what they went through. My best friends newborn had to be sent to the IC unit because his GF didnt want their son circed and his cock ...
[ Reply | Options ]And "not circing your son is a cruel and unusual punishment"? Where do you get this crap, really? I mean, what is more painful: cutting your arm, or not cutting your arm (granted your arm is perfectly healthy)? It's the same with another part of the body... And your friends are happy with it because that's how they've gotten used to it, not because it's better. Heck, cut off people's arms and put them together on an island. All their life, they'll say they're happy because they have gotten used to it, think it's normal and never experienced having two arms. The same can be said about humans having only two arms (which is the normal expectation) instead of three. Only after you experience both ways of life can you truly say which is better, ...
[ Reply | Options ]Circumcising in Europe or other parts of the world is very unpopular and very frowned upon and actually in the minority (you Americans always seem to be the oddballs on the globe, no offense), and I don't hear of higher risk of STDs or infections here. Heck, for most of the human's race time on Earth, all humans were uncircumcised and were still living, happy and healthy... and now you come telling me leaving it uncircumcised is unnatural and bad? Talk about pure ignorance (as well as arrogance)... Moreover, I don't think women care about circumcision or not in their partners. Here, uncircumcised people fuck everyday without even caring that their not circumcised, and I suspect it's the same in the US. "No one will fuck your uncirced sons"?...
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The one who says no wins because the hospital will not do it unless both agrees. One of my bf will absolutely not do it but her dh wants, they can't agree but she will just refuse at the hospital so he has no choice.
[ Reply | Options ]Admittedly I don't support circumsicion, but were I in that situation I believe the inclination NOT to do it holds considerably more weight. Down the road, a DS could choose to have the foreskin removed. I don't think it's necessary for parents to perform all the cosmetic procedures of a lifetime for their chidren at birth.
[ Reply | Options ]i think it comes down to aesthetics. let's face it an uncirced penis is down right ugly. if you want your son to have a second date get him circed. plain and simple.
[ Reply | Options ]This is BS & if you decide on whether or not to get your kid circ because of a 2nd date you are a complete whack job. Circumcision is barbaric in my opinion.
[ Reply | Options ]LOL now whos the whack job? Since when is ANY medical procedure barbaric? And why would judging getting circed on dates be a bad thing?? THats honestly what it comes down to is fitting in right? I think that making your child go through humiliation like that is far more barbaric than circing. You can say what ever you want you dumb bitch but the fact of the matter is that some girls wont fuck an uncircd guy. Most wont mind true, but theres still a large number that find that shit sick. I would know, Im a dr.
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Why doesn't anyone consider that some people actually prefer the look of an uncircumcised penis. I know most of my ex's did. Plus, after I got circed, at age 17 and by my own accord, I regretted it instantly. I'd also like to add that adds to a males pleasure and doesn't effect woman either way, so why is it such a big freaking deal to you people!
[ Reply | Options ]Actually it does affect a womans pleasure. How would you like to get fucked by a pickle with a loose tissue on the end? most women think uncirced are FREAKS NANANANANA
[ Reply | Options ]Lady, you're way beyond daft. Circumcised men don't precum as much as uncirc'd ones, and precum is a natural lubricant. So unless you can guarantee that all of your son's future partners will be fountains, leave him uncirced. Also, I've been fucked by pickles with loose tissue on the end my entire life, and I love it.
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I'm a 20 year old guy who was circumcised at birth and is really happy that I was. Personally, I think uncircumcised penises are rather ugly. I know some of you disagree but that's my opinion on it. Also, I think women (at least American women) are much more used to circumcised penises so they won't give that awkward stare that I've heard happens to some uncircumcised men. I remember back when I was in elementary school there was this one kid who happened to be uncircumcised and a lot of the other boys used to make fun of him for how "different" or "weird" it looked. There are also health benefits I've read about such as circumcised men being less susceptible to STDs. Whenever I have a son I'm going to have him circumcised. I guess to each ...
[ Reply | Options ]There's ALWAYS such a myopically one-sided representation on UB. It doesn't even matter what the rant is, it's always left-leaning extremists bullying people into believing everyone is entitled to THEIR opinion. I don't know what poll or women you people have asked but not one woman I know actively PREFER the look of the uncirc. penis or would PREFER a man who has one.
[ Reply | Options ]I prefer un, and know several women who agree. my own random sampling tells me that cut men are less sensitive. I like the extra skin. The ignorant pickle with skin analogy above was clearly from someone who's never seen an erect natural penis -- there isn't that much skin involved. And what guy w/ modern plumbing can't keep himself clean enough? That argument is like saying a girl should lose her labia to keep all the crevices squeaky clean. FWIW, I'm Jewish, but would never have had a son circumcised. I'm glad the custom is waning.
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If our son wants to be circumcised when he's 18 (16 if he knows what he's doing), I'll pay for it and help him find a good surgeon. Until then, he stays intact. His body - his decision. If he wants to be circumcised later, it's easy to fix - safer, less painful, and looks better cosmetically. If we'd had him circumcised, and he wanted to be intact, it's a problem. *His* body - *his* decision.
[ Reply | Options ]DH got his way, but he felt more passionate about it than me. He was more for circumcision than I was against it. So I wasn't really going to go to the mat for it. I had some reservations and I just asked we do some research together before making a choice. We read different pro/con articles together. In the end he still wanted it done.
[ Reply | Options ]Oh god! Get the circumcism. No kid wants to have 'the worm', especially once they're teenagers and trying to get laid. yuck.
[ Reply | Options ]There are studies coming out that show that circ. men have a less chance of getting STDs & AIDS. AAP might once again change their stance on this (as of now they say that their is no medical reason to) . The foreskin is a breeding ground for bacteria. I know that we wash more now, but that is why certain cultures circ their boys because it is cleaner.
[ Reply | Options ]there are millions of men who regret having had the end of their penis being removed without their consent, before they could ever say no. do any of you know what it's like when everytime you shower, change clothes, use the bathroom, or make love, you are reminded that you will never be whole? No one has any right to remove a healthy body part from someone without their consent.
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