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  • [-]Does anyone else her have a problem with a certain singer LB who sings about spaghetti?

    23 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.20.09, 05:16 PM [ Flag ]
    • Cannot stand her. She is such a talentless wannabee, and deeply boring.

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      11.20.09, 05:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Huh???

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      11.20.09, 05:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • When my dd was born, my mother ran out and bought the CD and memorized the songs. I had to sit in the back of my parents minivan as they drove around singing that spaghetti song at the top of their lungs. My dd was 12w at the time and really didn't give a hoot, it really was one of the most annoying experiences I have had in the past few years.

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      11.20.09, 05:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • She just seems so conceited and smug. Cannot bear her. She is like head of pta at our school.

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      11.20.09, 05:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I love her! -a dh

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      11.20.09, 06:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Please tell me who/what you're talking about.

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      11.20.09, 06:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • um, what are we talking about here? a singer we won't name who sings about pasta and is the head of a PTA? only in NY folks

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      11.20.09, 06:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • UB is the ONLY place I have ever heard of this singer. I think someone on here is obsessed with her.

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      11.20.09, 06:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • she is all over nickjr. you probably do know her...

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        11.20.09, 06:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • She used to be on the Nick music fillers between shows alot. (May still be my kids are older.)

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        11.20.09, 06:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • ITTTA!! I'm convinced it's either LB herself or her publicist that keeps posting these innane questions. The only problem with that they usually end up in a flamefest of how boring and banal her music is... probably NOT the type of feedback they would like. But I guess in that line of biz, any publicity is good publicity?! FWIW - my kids immediately ask us to turn the channel when Berkner comes on Nick, for which DH and I are all too eager to comply!! Cannot STAND her "music"

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        11.20.09, 08:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • I wouldn't mind it so much if she was not such a focal point of all her videos. Cannot bear to see her forced prancing.

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          11.20.09, 08:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Wasn't there some movie/TV show where Emma Thompson played a similarly annoying singer? Can't remember what it was but it was hilarious. I always preferred Raffi myself or heck--how about just regular music?

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      11.20.09, 07:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • A Frasier episode. Emma Thompson played Nanny something, Frasier's ex-wife, whom nobody including Lilith knew about. It was hilarious.

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        11.20.09, 07:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Don't know how I feel about her as a talent or as a person, but DC and I love the Goldfish song - "Wait a minute; we're fish. We can't ride bicycles."

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      11.20.09, 07:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • this is funny. She irritates me but someone on UB is really bothered by her because you post this every other day or so! Wonder if this thread will disappear...

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      11.20.09, 08:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • First experience with her was free concert in C.park where every person with a dc from NJ and every borough and every state in the union east of the mississippi came. My ds hated it, me too. Nails on the blackboard. Screechy, whiny, nasal and banal.

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        11.21.09, 01:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]Was in a store near ps 186 (I think) and those DCs were more obnoxious and entitled than any of the girls I knew at SS tt.

    44 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.20.09, 11:43 AM [ Flag ]
    • they are dreadful itttta

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      11.20.09, 11:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • what and where is this school?

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      11.20.09, 11:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Right, a couple of obnoxious girls pretty much represent the entire public school student body. How do you know they were from public school, anyway?

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      11.20.09, 11:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • No uniforms, upper east side about 5th grade flowing into cell phone store in Tory Burch shoes flipping their hair and speaking through their noses. And there were about three different groups of them. And you think that people on here who bash ss TT girls know EVERY girl in the entire class?

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        11.20.09, 11:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • When you make a decision about a private school being filled with entitled celebs and money what are you going on for evidence?

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        11.20.09, 12:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • um, the many celebs who have kids there? i think it's far less accurate to judge a public school based on a few students. privates are much smaller and much more homogeneous, socioeconomically and racially.

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          11.20.09, 12:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • um, the few that do in each grade do not make up the whole school not even the whole grade and who is to say celeb kids are all awful?

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            11.20.09, 12:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • i don't think celeb kids are awful. i would worry about my dc getting involved with kids who have a lot of money and not a lot of supervision. celeb/super wealthy kids seem more likely to fall into that category.

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              11.20.09, 12:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • I don't think you understand there are plenty of wealthy dcs at public school in wealthy areas. You aren't required to have money to get to a great private in NYC you need to have intelligence, I know a lot of dumb wealthy people.

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                11.20.09, 12:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • look, face facts. the chances a Dalton or Horace Mann kindergartener being from a wealthy familiy is pretty great. the odds aren't anywhere near that in any random public, even one like PS 6, in a wealthy area.

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                  11.20.09, 12:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • So then the three groups of hideously obnoxious girls in outfits far too expensive for them that were streaming out of this public means nothing to you because....you want to stick your head in the sand? Nice.

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                    11.20.09, 12:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                    • oh, honey, believe what you want to believe. you're exhausting me.

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                      11.20.09, 12:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                      • "sweetie" its not believing what I want to believe it is seeing with my own eyes. And yes, I would like another piece of pecan pie please and a refill on my coffee.

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                        11.20.09, 12:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • if i were your waitress and you were this annoying IRL, rest assured i would "accidentally" give you regular instead of decaf and sneeze on your pie.

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                          11.20.09, 12:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • Nice manners they teach there at the diner. Shame.

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                          11.20.09, 12:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • lol, i guess i should look to you for behavioral cues because you're so charming. go back to your TT private school. they know how to raise those girls right!

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                          11.20.09, 12:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • My reference was to the use of the word "honey". God you people are so uptight and on a crusade to prove your backgrounds have value. Please send your DCs to private if they get in or else they may grow up with mommy's insecurity complex.

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                          11.20.09, 12:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • i am rotflmao at this point. you win, seriously. i'm going to stop responding to you now. have a great afternoon. switch to decaf. i'll bring some to you at your table if you're polite.

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                          11.20.09, 12:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • Ok deal!

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                          11.20.09, 12:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • me too, at private schools.

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                  11.20.09, 12:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • How about doing your homework b/f smearing a school?

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      11.20.09, 12:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Oh...What kind of post is that? Are you 'like...12-or 15?

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      11.20.09, 12:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Ummm, you'll have to give an example if you want people to agree with you. Also, you're probably talking about 10 year olds at the most who are not allowed out to lunch (school policy) so what the HECK are you talking about??? A little insecure at your SS tt???

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      11.20.09, 02:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I think OP was being a bit of a jerk but - she said nothing about lunch hour. I think she saw these kids after school. A weird thing is that it also sounds like the OP is comparing these current kids to the girls SHE went to school with - not the current 5th graders at SS schools (who I'm sure are the same as these 158ers). At any rate, these kids are growing up on the UES, for feck's sake. They ARE entitled children, whether they go to public or private school. A difference would be that 158 has 20% of their kids eligible for a free lunch, which is vastly different from being "poor" enough to get FA at a private school. But the richie riches at both kinds of school? The same.

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        11.20.09, 02:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • is that a current statistic? i have trouble believing that anyone who can afford to live in the area zoned for 158 is eligible for free lunch. there are not even any housing projects. otoh, up until 5 years ago, 158 still had a lot of kids there from out of zone with a variance.

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          11.20.09, 06:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • 158 also houses East Side Middle. Those were probably middle school girls. Middle school is middle school. Not the most charming age - cut them a break.

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      11.20.09, 05:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]Off the "DIVORCE" post what is the worst divorce you have ever heard? Me: childhood sweethearts, DH takes off with make BFF, yes he was gay.

    19 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.20.09, 01:31 PM [ Flag ]
    • Friends parents divorced after 25 or 30 years of marriage. The day after the divorce was final the father married the mother's bf. Literally the very next day. The mother had no idea they were involved until that day.

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      11.20.09, 01:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • gossip

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      11.20.09, 01:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • couple had to live bi-coastal for work reasons at the beginning of the marriage (ny/la) but they spent every weekend together. Went on for a few months. After a vacation in HI the wife gets a call from sister saying we can't keep this from you any longer but it seems dh is leading a double life with a totally different woman.... it was heart breaking

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      11.20.09, 01:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • a coworker got married for the first time long before I knew her. on the honeymoon her husband tells her he "thinks" he's gay. why couldn't have said it the day before? Happy ending, she's now married to a great guy and really doing well.

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      11.20.09, 01:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • dh is an alcoholic screw-up. dw loves him but can't stand living with him anymore and he won't get help. she tells him she wants a divorce, doesn't want anything from him (he comes from a wealthy family), feels terrible. things didn't work out, but she didn't blame him. a few weeks later, she finds he has moved in with a girlfriend she did not know about, a girlfriend he knocked up and has been keeping secret! he lets this woman watch their child during his visits! and this woman is TRASHY. when she answers the phone, won't let dw speak with her own son, etc.

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      11.20.09, 02:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • DH told on his honeymoon that DW made the wrong decision and wants out. Get divorced, she gets the house. He remarries and 3 months later DW2 tells him she's a lesbian and her partner moves into the house, DH moves to the basement, eventually they too get divorced. Not making this up.

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      11.20.09, 02:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • DF was pregnant w/ # 3. Dh suggested that they sell their home to buy a bigger one, dh sells house and than backs out of new home purchase. Moves family into a dumpy rental tells dw that he is sleeping with her bf and wants a divorce. Df miscarries #3. Dh cancels all credit cards AND turns off the electricity on his own dcs. Dh (who makes over 2 million a year) hides assets and leaves the country.

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      11.20.09, 02:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Oh, so sad. That is awful.

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        11.20.09, 02:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Moral of the story: Don’t allow DH no matter how financially savvy to have complete control of finances. Dw allowed him to do everything and even gave him POA at their house closing. Nothing was in her name.

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          11.20.09, 02:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • My ex dh left me when I was pg for someone else, but at least I had the comfort of beautiful new baby. Poor woman. So, so, sad.

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            11.20.09, 02:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • That is so awful. I once knew a guy at work who was cheating w/ an office mate while dw was pregnant. Everytime I got within inches of either of them my skin would crawl and I was in my early 20's. Some people should never get married.

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              11.20.09, 02:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Read "Heartburn" by Nora Ephron is you never have--painful but very, very funny, thinly-fictionalized story of the same thing...

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              11.20.09, 07:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Friend of my mothers find out her dh has another family, living close by (thought he commuted for work) with 2 dd's same age as hers. Had been going on for 10 years. He left her for other 'wife'. He had no money (she had always worked)

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      11.20.09, 03:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • My aunts husband ran off with her daughter (his stepdaughter), way before someone famous did the same thing.

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      11.20.09, 04:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • wow...horrible...i can imagine a stepdad being into his stepdaughter, but the idea of the stepdaughter reciprocating the affections and not thinking about hurting her own mom really saddens me. Mom must feel so pained looking at her daughter now.

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        11.20.09, 09:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]Therapist mom here - had a long day, on a wave, ask me anything.

    30 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.18.09, 07:54 PM [ Flag ]
    • Are you bored to death during your sessions?

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      11.18.09, 07:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • sometimes... sometimes just depressed.

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        11.18.09, 07:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • this being an anonymous board: do you ever get interested/emotionally involved in your job? Like you think about a patient's problem on the way home?

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          11.18.09, 08:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • Yes. I have two cases like that - I have a couple that used to swing, stopped, now have a baby, also have a man who got married for all the wrogn reasons, have a baby and isn't really in love with his wife, but loves the kid. It's sad.

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            11.18.09, 08:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Thanks. I was always wondering if therapists actually care (sometimes), or they always just secretly look at their watches waiting when we boring wretched souls go away.

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              11.18.09, 08:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • I do care, especially when people seem to be caged, locked in their own bodies, unable to help themselves.

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                11.18.09, 08:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • np: I thought therapists weren't supposed to tell people what to do.

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                  11.18.09, 08:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • we don't tell them, but we do offer advice. Especially if they indicate that they want something and don't know how to go about it

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                    11.18.09, 08:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • What is the purpose of a therapist? (seriously, I'm not being snarky.)

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      11.18.09, 08:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Do you believe in a classical psychoanalysis, or you think it is over?

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      11.18.09, 08:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I think many people these days are so lonely, especially in NYC. So many people get married, have kids, have friends and despite all that are so alone. I think I am a friend for hire sometimes, someone that can listen, and doesn’t judge, gives advice, sheds light on a new perspective, a new outlook. If you can help change someone’s perspective you can have change happen in the physical world.

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        11.18.09, 08:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • What is your take on the fact that meds can change perspective in a very tangible way?

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          11.18.09, 08:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • I’m not a Psychiatrist, I’m a LCSW. I am aware of the fact that some people need meds to be able to literally survive. I refer patients to Psychiatrists if I feel that they need more help. In a perfect world talking, opening up, facing issues would get people to straighten up, deal and get better. But in this world it’s not the case, plus some psychotic people do need meds and these are beyond the scope of my practice.

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            11.18.09, 08:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Do you have times where you question the value of therapy, and your chosen profession altogether? I know several MSW's who feel this way, my sister is one of them.

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      11.18.09, 08:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I do. I don't think it's science. I think of myself as someonw who listens, it's not about analysis.

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        11.18.09, 08:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • How should I deal with my alcoholic borderline personality father? Cut him out completely? Sad he won't have a relationship with dd but maybe it is for the best.

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      11.18.09, 08:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I personally don’t believe in a rigid definition of “family” – sometimes blood can’t overcome hard personalities, sometimes past experiences affect the way we look at parents, siblings, etc. I have many patients that complain, especially around the holiday season, that they have to go to dinners with their family, however they don’t feel close to those people – a lot of anger, hurt bottled in, yet they go to dinner, act, put on a happy face while questioning the whole “production”. Your father may not have been a good father, and he may never be but he can still be an excellent grandfather, loving and caring, drinking problem or not. However, if he is not interested, doesn’t show affection etc, the fact that he is blood ...

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        11.18.09, 08:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Any advice on surviving 6th grade? I feel so helpless when dd reveals what's going on socially.

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      11.18.09, 08:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • If she is being picked on or singled out, boost her up as much as you can. Even if it seems "silly" or like overkill, if you tell her she is beautiful or smart or [fill in the blank] literally every day, when she is an adult she will have better self-esteem than all of her friends. If she is one of the ones doing the ostracizing, do what you can to teach her compassion outside of her social circle. Perhaps volunteer work, but not by forcing her to be nice to kids considered outcasts - that will be too hard on her because of the other girls. Also, encourage her to be friends with boys.

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        11.20.09, 07:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • how many years after therapist and patient stop being therapist and patient is it ok for them to have a romantic relationship?

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      11.18.09, 08:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Do you think there is anything that can be done to change a person with a clear cut narcissistic personality disorder, or I should just run away? Is this condition genetic or acquired?

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      11.18.09, 08:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • How does one go about choosing a good psychologist? What resources would you recommend?

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      11.19.09, 03:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Trailer trash mom here- how can I get a MILF with two kids to stop calling my boyfriend to ask if she can move in/spend the night?

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      11.19.09, 07:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Let me preface this by saying that I have definitely benefited from therapy at different times in my life. I do notice, however, that many people who choose to study/practice some sort of mental therapy are generally the people who seem most screwed up. Do you think the majority of people who choose some type of psycho therapy as a profession are trying to fix themselves?

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      11.20.09, 07:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]help me out -- I had a discussion with someone (who doesn't have dcs) who said she can foresee a time when women would choose voluntary surrogacy (paying someone else to have their db) instead of carrying a db themselves. That it's another change to how technology becomes a part of our lives and how we try to control/preserve our bodies in different ways. I just don't think efficiency would ever outweigh wanting to be pregnant, if you can do it (for most people -- of course, there are exceptions). What do you think?

    28 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.20.09, 03:39 PM [ Flag ]
    • I can foresee it, far not the road and for a handful of women, but once it starts the practice could grow. And I say this, even though the thought appalls me.

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      11.20.09, 03:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • see, logically, I understood why she would see it that way. but after having been pregnant, i can't imagine anyone suggesting that efficiency/preserving your body could possibly be considered a parallel choice.

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        11.20.09, 03:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • as someone who had a difficult time getting PG, it was very important for me to feel the pregnancy myself and to go through that experience at least once in my life. Maybe it will become more common for some but it may still remain a natural desire for many.

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      11.20.09, 03:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I do not think it would ever become routine. Yes, a very small group of women would choose this out of need or desire. But most women take pleasure in pregnancy on some level and it is a biological urge similar to sex.

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      11.20.09, 03:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • that's what I feel, too -- there is a sense of pleasure, and almost a primal desire. But she suggested, couldn't the idea of what's pleasurable change? How do we know it's pleasurable before having gone through it?

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        11.20.09, 03:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • I truly think it's similar to sex rather than plastic surgery - an innate desire, rather than a superficial/convenient act.

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          11.20.09, 03:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • That's what I was telling her -- that it's hard to understand until you are on the threshold of being able to be pregnant. Why do we want it? Because of what others are telling you? Because of how we've been raised? Because it's primal/innate? I don't know, but it's powerful, and ITA with you -- I can't imagine efficiency/beauty/convenience is what would dominate.

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            11.20.09, 03:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • eros

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        11.20.09, 06:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Well I really hated being pregnant the first time. I am pregnant again now, and it is much easier. I can't see ever paying somebody else to carry my child, but that first pregnancy did give me some insight into why women might choose that option!

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      11.20.09, 03:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I've been pregnant twice and hated both pregnancies. There was no part of it that I enjoyed. I would definitely be one of those women who would pay someone to be my surrogate. Pregnancy is an amazing experience for some and torture to others. I don't think this would be mainstream, but could be a good alternative for some people.

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      11.20.09, 04:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • But would you have done it BEFORE getting pregnant? In other words, you know now that you had a horrible experience (after having gone through it). How would you make the decision before knowing you personally had it bad?

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        11.20.09, 04:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Honestly, I would have gone the surro route even before I got pregnant. Always wanted kids but hated having no control over my body for 12 months (pregnancy + recovery). I would have to know that the surro method would ensure a healthy environment for my baby.

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          11.20.09, 04:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • interesting! And you would feel like you could trust a surrogate to be a healthier environment than your own body?

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            11.20.09, 04:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • I always dreamed that there would be a machine that would simulate a womb and I would pay to rent it and come visit to "see" the baby. I know it sounds silly.

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              11.20.09, 04:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • np- but you are the anomaly, most women love pregnancy first time. Only the ones with body problems would not want to get pregnant. Second time is a different matter

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            11.20.09, 04:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • I wonder if there is a constituency of professional women who would want to do it this way too--less downtime.

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              11.20.09, 04:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • np: I also don't like being pregnant and I've had no complications with both of my pregnancies. I just don't like it and don't even get me started on giving birth. Having said that I can't imagine using a surrogate.

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              11.20.09, 06:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • i'm with you OR. two awful pregnancies. i suppose I would have tried it the first time, but definitely not the second (even though that one was slightly more bearable). if i could do this i may consider a third, but never want to be pregnant again. if the surrogate could be my husband than i'm first to sign up!

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            11.20.09, 06:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I agree and feel the same way about woman who chose c-sections instead of regular birth when their is no medical need for one. Some woman said that they wanted it because they wanted their baby born on a certain day or b/c they didn't want to stretch out 'down there.' There is too much stock in vanity today despite the fact that woman have been having babies naturally since the world began. I don't like woman who seem proud of c-sections b/c of artificial reasons or concerns about themselves. Of course if there is a REAL medical reason than okay but 75% of the people I know that have ever had one had either vanity or a scheduling conflict that resulted in them wanting a c-section.

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      11.20.09, 04:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I disagree that elective c-sections are along the slippery slope to on-demand surrogacy. C-sections, even when elected for what you consider trivial reasons, do not involve using another woman, who often has much less money and many fewer options, to gestate your baby. I hated hated hated being pregnant, but would never choose the emotional complications surrogacy evolves. A scheduled c-section, on the other hand, was absolutely what was best for my baby and me. And stretching out 'down there' had nothing to do with my decision.

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        11.20.09, 06:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • np: I'm glad to read that other women don't like being pregnant. I always hear such glowing stories of pregnancy. I not a fan, but I kind of felt alone in that opinion.

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          11.20.09, 06:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • how old are you? All my friends and I were 35+ when pregnant; children dearly wanted. Very few -- even the yoga divas-- pretended that pregnancy wasn't ten months of nausea, swelling, and flatulence. I thought uncomfortable pregnancies might be a symptom of 'advanced maternal age', but my mother told me all her pregnancies, starting at age 24, were similar. So maybe my circle of friends are more honest/complaining than many . . . .

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            11.20.09, 06:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • I'm 35 and pregnant. Was 30 with 1st pregnancy. I know women my same age and they seem to like it. Honestly I didn't have difficult pregnancies, but still don't seem to like or love it like some people I know. I like knowing I'm going to have a baby and I'm very thankful for my kids. But that glowing wonderful I love every moment of this look that some people have I just can't relate to.

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              11.20.09, 07:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I had two C-sections for medical reasons. The first was after waiting 20 days past due date, being induced, 48 hours of labor then haveing a c-section and giving birth to a 10 lb baby. I'm 5;3" and 110 lbs. Damage was irreversible of carrying such a large child so late. My story is not that uncommon, and I wish could have opted for an elective C-section the week before due date because I knew it would go like that. I'm guessing you had relatively easy births so

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        11.20.09, 06:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Wow -- I'm surprised your OB didn't suggest a c-section, given your size and the baby's size. . .

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          11.20.09, 07:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Actually I did not. My birth was not easy. I did have a small baby but was 3 days late and after 9 hours of labor had only gotten to 2 cm. Not only that but my baby was only 6 pounds and I had a 4th degree tear that required 4 sets of stitches inside and out. I was in pain for days and unable to walk or get in and out of bed by myself. However, I would do it all over again and plan to have the next one vaginally too. Don't you read the responses carefully b/c I stated "of course if there is a REAL medical reason that is okay" I am not taking about people who actually have reasons I am talking specifically about people who do it for vanity or selfish reasons, this does not apply to every person who has ever had one.

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          11.20.09, 08:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I think there is a lot of research yet to be done on the impact of the mother (or surrogate) on the fetus' development. I don't think a baby's personality is solely genetics, i think it must be affected to some extent by maternal behaviors as well. Since I am a control freak, I would want the baby in me so I would have full assurance that the baby was in a good environment at all times. But i have thought a LOT about surrogacy...i want 2 kids close in age, and it would be much nicer if i had 10 months to recuperate with my hubby and child, rather than getting immediately preg again. the only other thing stopping me is trying to explain to my MIL why she couldn't come to the hospital...i know...but if she didn't know, and i completely truste...

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      11.20.09, 09:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]Hiring a private preschool tutor for child who can't easily leave the house. How much should I expect to pay hourly?

    11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.03.09, 04:19 PM [ Flag ]
    • Why can't he/she leave the house?

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      11.03.09, 04:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • You might be able to hire a teacher/nanny to do a little pre-school homeschool program. Our nanny is a teacher, and we pay her $25/hour. But she is with dd the whole day, not just PT hours, like a half day preschool program would require.

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      11.03.09, 04:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • you don't have to pay that much...right now the market is in your favor. post an ad on craigslist and ask responders to include desired wage and see what kind of responses you get. i'm sure there are some unemployed early ed students who can help your dc out.

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      11.05.09, 12:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • in today's economy, teachers would welcome such a pleasant PT job. I would say $60 - $90 per hour should be appropriate. I hope your dc is all right.

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      11.05.09, 01:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • are you still interested in a preschool tutor for your child?

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      11.20.09, 05:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • We paid $85 per session for a certified teacher who was familiar with the curriculum at our school to give our dcs some continuity over the summer.

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      11.20.09, 06:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Most families we know pay $100/hr. Best if you can get a personal recommendation to someone directly, saves you and the tutor both the cost of the middle man of a service. Many services take a cut out of the tutor's wages and don't do much for them in return.

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      11.20.09, 08:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I am sure you could put ad up at local teacher training school, and pay around 30.

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      11.20.09, 08:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • You get what you pay for. Make sure your tutor has whatever level of degree makes you comfortable, checkable references, teaching/tutoring experience particularly with early learners, and in your case someone who has experience with families who need special attention to health-related considerations. IMHO less than $75 or $100/hour is not going to get you all that.

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        11.20.09, 09:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]Children's Aid Society preschool: How's the separation process for the 3's program? On our tour, it seemed a little short/brief. Other schools seemed more open to the idea that it can take a few weeks, maybe longer for some kids.

    8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    11.17.09, 08:42 PM [ Flag ]
    • It is pretty efficient. The class is divided into two groups who attend two different shorter sessions during regular class time along with their parent/ caregiver. I think that this lasted about a week. Slowly the class entire class is integrated into their regular time - and parents start leaving their children. Some schools do this process slower, but it worked very well for most children we knew. My dc was quick to separate and we actually found that my being there was a hindrance to her. If anything, I was sad because I really wasn’t missed! In her 2's class there was a child who did have a difficult time, and the mom was able to stay after drop for a longer period of time.

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      11.18.09, 09:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • if your dc needs a few weeks, maybe longer, to separate, he is not ready for preschool.

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      11.19.09, 08:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • IMO, a drawn out separation is actually worse (unless the kid is having a particularly hard time with separation). You'll be very surprised at how well it goes. the clingiest kid i know separated in a week without a single issue, and I thought separation was going to be a disaster of traumatic proportions for all involved.

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      11.19.09, 08:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • op: I actually think my kid will be fine and a quick separator. But I like the idea that the staff are supportive if it takes a little longer (calms my nerves going in, you know?).

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        11.19.09, 08:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • the first week parents are encouraged to drop off but are allowed to stay in the classroom until dc is settled. by the second week, while parents are still allowed to stay, they should be trying to transition dc into being dropped off. by the third week, all parents are expected to drop off. (obviously they are allowed to enter the classroom to say brief good-byes, but that's it.) weeks of having parents lingering in the classroom is just too disruptive.

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      11.19.09, 08:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Parents can sometimes be the cause of a problem. DC is fine once mom is out of sight, but mom doesn't believe the teacher and lingers, so the problem lingers, too.

      [ Reply | Options ]
      11.20.09, 08:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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