Has anyone ever had a triple stroller? DD is 16 months old and I just found out I'm pregnant with twins. I'm trying to figure out how we'll all get around. DD will still be to young for one those stand on boards, but I could wear one of the babies for a while and just use a double stroller. I'm really stressing out over this. Had a dream last night that I had one baby in a stroller, dd in backback carrier, and one baby in a sling. I kept stumbling and tripping and people on the street were pointing and whispering about me.
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[-]feel so bad...we all went out to dinner tonight after dd's soccer practice. we all got out of the car and were tlking in depth about backyard renvstions . got about 5 feet away fron the car when we said"oh shit..the baby (6 weeks old) is still in the car" we forgot the poor baby. feel so bad
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[-]Dear @hole screaming the crowd on, shouting Irish songs on Hudson Street. It all sounds like an insane version of Popeye the Sailor Man with some twit girl screeching every 2 minutes. Can't you all just throw up and go home? Love, At home Irish girl with db, "celebrating" with homemade Thai food and a Guinness. (bfing)
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[-]Shouldn't I get paid for time I would have worked but didn't because my employer decided THEY didn't need me on that particular day or week? I am nanny in Manhattan and I have a dilemma. After searching for almost a year in the recession I have finally found a job full time/live out. I am now in the middle of my 3rd week and find my self still negotiating what days off I should get paid. About 2 weeks into it the parents presented me with the contract/work agreement (which I suggested). They are offering 3weeks paid vacation (2 chosen by them and 1 by me) and also mentioned that in addition to those 3 weeks they will be taking 1-2 weeks extra vacation which will be unpaid. Also during the time of the year when uncles/aunts and grandparents ...
41 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]you need to tell them that if you are expected to reserve your time for them, they must pay you full time. If they do not want to, I suggest you start looking for another employer. How is it that you get one week of your choosing and they get 5? If they both work out of the home, they canot really afford this tyupe of contract.
[ Reply | Options ]I think in general yes, you should be paid. However, I think they are required to pay for more than three weeks of vacation. I do, but I don't think they're obligated to. They are your employers, not your guidance counselors, and they are not required to take into consideration your plans to finish school (BTW, take the student loans, that's what they're there for).
[ Reply | Options ]truthfully you are right but they are too new to this to understand. I suggest you look for another employer. By the time they get to their third nanny, they will be paying for these things. My former nanny just came to me with a similar story about a family she really liked but had to leave for the same reason.
[ Reply | Options ]When you respond to the contract, you should tell them that you need 52 weeks of pay a year to pay your rent, etc. If they anticipate not needing you 2 weeks a year, maybe you can offer to do additional night time sitting (per your availability up to two nights) and/or address non nanny domestic issues while they are gone, like cleaning out the children't closets or organizing the toys, etc. See how they respond.
[ Reply | Options ]It sounds to me like they can't *really* afford you, but are trying to work it down to a manageable number by giving you unpaid time off ("hey, honey, if we don't PAY her 5 weeks out out of the year, then we can swing this"). They're being clueless and unfair to you. The same thing happened to my former nanny with her next family - the mom was a SAHM (2 y/o and twins) and she would randomly give the nanny unpaid "days off" if her mother or MIL came to help. I agree with the OR above - keep this job for now, but keep looking for things more stable. This family will have trouble retaining anyone under this arrangement.
[ Reply | Options ]Employers are wrong. Capping the unpaid vacation at 2 weeks is okay if the annual weekly salary under those terms is still acceptable (i.e. you need to put aside some portion of the salary each week to cover the unpaid weeks). But cutting your weekly hours/salary to half time whenever they please is unacceptable. Tell the to hire an hourly sitter who may or may not be available to them when they are needed. Or ask them if they think it's fair for you to add a clause saying whenever you are little busy you can decide to work half time at half salary and they'll just have to cope.
[ Reply | Options ]Here is the harsh truth, you searched long and hard for this job. Jobs are scarce in this economy. Many professionals have had to accept conditions and pay that would have been unacceptable a couple of years ago. I would suck it up for now so you don't lose the position. What *should* happen is irrelevant if you like the job otherwise. Just my opinion.
[ Reply | Options ]np I tend to agree. You need this job, right? But point out to them that they are basically only employing you for 11 months of the year, at their convenience not theirs. Then when you find a job with better terms, you can renegotiate, or leave and not feel terribly guilty about it IMO.
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I know it crossed my husband's mind, that maybe our nanny should not get paid for days she does not work, because we are out of town. But I really think this is a terrible job for you. We give our nanny time off as she requests it (wedding or family events) or if she's sick/snowed in, but do not give her any floating vacation. This is because I KNOW I take a lot of time off and she gets paid to work those days. In her 1st year, it was 2 weeks at Christmas, 1.5 weeks at Thanksgiving, 2-4 days each in Oct, April, and July 4th, plus major holidays (not bank holidays - I have to work those). It ended up being around 5 weeks off. I couldn't have let her take an additional 2 weeks of her choice. But I'd never dock her pay for when my mothe...
[ Reply | Options ]i can see what the employers are thinking - "we pay her 3 weeks vacation which is more than what most employees get at a company so we're being generous. and any other time she doesnt work for us, why should we pay for services we dont need?" if you were an hourly employee, i would agree with them. however, you are salaried and you are entitled to benefits. i do think 3 weeks is generous vacation time, and if they capped the unpaid vacation to 1 week, i would think that might even be OK. but the other crap? totally unacceptable. you need to keep this job for now but start looking.
[ Reply | Options ]I do think you are getting screwed, but in this economy you may have to just accept it. We pay our nanny for 52 weeks a year. She gets 4 weeks off (but we mostly choose when), all paid, plus she'll get 2 weeks salary for xmas bonus. She is paid the same weekly salary whether we ask her to work or not, plus overtime (rarely). Plus she gets 10 paid holidays a year. I want her to be happy with us so she'll stay long term. Clearly, at some point you'll find another job, and that family will be SOL.
[ Reply | Options ]Nanny employer here - In a good economy, I would just tell you to say no and move on. But you've said you looked for a year already and you need the money to finish school. It really depends how much they are paying you total on the year. Is the total amount acceptable? If it is I would suggest you to take the job and wait and see. If they turn out to be stingy people then you can look for another job in the meanwhile. They could be just well-meaning yet clueless first time parents. If you choose to try it out, you should go back to them and tell them (nicely) you want x days max of unpaid time off per year + how much ahead notification time (so theorectically you can find other p/t work on those days) + 6 days of paid public holidays off ...
[ Reply | Options ]Hi everyone, OP here. Thanks for all the advice. . When they called me in response to my ad they asked my going rate and I said between 14-16hr (weekly salary adding up that). They said that the most that they could pay was $650 which I agreed to. When I went in for the interview they said that after asking around and speaking to their friends who were also parents that they thought $600 weekly would be more appropriate. I agreed to 600 because its the least I would take in any job. However I did say that in order for me to take the 600 weekly that my hours would have to be less in order for it to add up to 14 an hour (which I feel that I am worth). I have some college education, speak 2 languages fluently, have a valid drivers license, in ...
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If you do not like the conditions, looks for another position. Get something better and then leave assuming you will not need the reference from your current employer. You can even sign contract if you want, but I do not see why you should. No one I know has a private nanny under contract, this is nonsense. No one is a slave and this is a two way partnership. Either party can go elsewhere if it is not a good fit.
[ Reply | Options ]I'm a nanny who worked for similar sounding parents in my last job. My advice is to take the job and negotiate for the best terms you can, because you need the job, and like many have said, keep your eyes open for something less frustrating and fairer. These people could very well be clueless, but to come back to you with a lesser amount than the one you advertised, and I understand that they may have just been playing the market, is not how you'd want to begin a relationship with someone working in your home. Those people I worked for did the same thing to me, I took the job with every intention of continuing to look for better people to work for, and I did. As will you. GL.
[ Reply | Options ]We are employers in a similar situation in that we take a LOT of vacation and have family up all the time, giving our nanny the day off or way shorter hours when that happens. We have always felt it was only fair to pay her for all of it, but our tradeoff is tat she doesn't get any vacation days of her choosing. (But last year she got essentially 8 weeks paid vacation when all was said and done). Truthfully, it is a bit hard for us to swallow, given all of that paid vacation, but we also accept tat it's unfair on her to dock her pay b/c we want to take our kids somewhere- she is a salaried employee after all. I think that the right solution is what your employers have done- state their terms up front, and negotiate from there. They val...
[ Reply | Options ]Like many here we pay 52 weeks a year and for days she is supposed to work but we don't need her. The tradeoff - i pick all vactaion time, of course that means she gets five weeks paid vacation so not too bad. It is totally unfair to not pay you for when in-laws are there etc. I would definitely push back on the unpaid, forced time off.
[ Reply | Options ]You need to strike a balance. It's a bad economy and a lot of people are short on cash. Trickles down. That said, after a while of feeling underpaid, employees leave for greener pastures. If they only have you in mind for a year they may not care if you leave when the economy improves-? Or, they may not be able to afford a FT nanny. You may need to lower your pay expectations.
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[-]Advice? Started 5 mo on food at dr's rec. He told us rice cereal then introduce another food, etc etc. Took 2 wks for her to get the hang of it, then was REALLY backed up....stopped everything, tried oatmeal, REALLY backed up. How important IS cereal? Can't I just give her things that are easier to digest, like peas and carrots and stuff? Anyone here who skipped cereal altogether? TIA
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I also have a 5 month old and wanted to skip cereal... Dr said to give it, so I did. Same thing, really backed up. After 5 days of cereal, I added a little rutabaga to it and things got moving again. I didn't want to give him prunes (which dr rec) bc I drank prune juice while pregnant and did not enjoy the stomach reaction...
[ Reply | Options ]Pediatrician mom here- dont sweat it! my kids (3) all hated rice cereal. its just a "traditional" starter food. move on to peas and carrots and dont look back :)
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[-]Our Situation has changed,so we are trying to find another position for our wonderful nanny Marian. We'd love to have her remain with us part time-sharing with another famaily. "Marian is incredibly reliable and has never missed a day of work. She is highly educated and very professional. I trust her 100% and I truly cannot put into words how much she has meant to our family."
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Advice on getting rid of the 5 lbs of baby weight? I've decreased cal intake and worked on getting metabolism up. Was very sick during prg, and had a late m/c (Dec). So no baby, no maternity leave (to work off the fat like I did with ds), but still holding on to 5lbs, meaning most of my pre-preg clothes don't fit. I know this is a relatively small issue, but already being depressed @ the miss I'd like to at least have my body back. Any advice? TIA
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[-]INFANT SLEEP: Assuming you are into attachment parenting, for how long would you nurse, cuddle, etc your baby to sleep...
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Do you mean each night, or do you mean by what age? I still do with my DD at 22 months!
[ Reply | Options ]PS- We didn't co-sleep to start. She slept in crib, and started sleeping through the night at 4 weeks. We've never done CIO. She's been sleeping with us for a few months now, and it works for us. We plan to transition her back to bed this summer, after she turns 2. GREAT article in NYT yesterday about infant/child sleeping: http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/14/night-lights-blankets-and-lullabies/?src=me&ref=general
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[-]Need encouragement. Baby is one week old and my nipples are so sore from breastfeeding. We have a good latch etc. (although I didn't the first 24 hours which didn't help) so I do think its somewhat "normal" but WHEN does it get better? And any hints other than using Lansinoh (already using)
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]2-3 weeks in it will feel better-for now--try and walk around topless as much as you can--let the air get at your nipples--vary the hold too--try the football hold or lay down--move the baby around to give the nipples a break
[ Reply | Options ]This is really good advice RE changing positions and walking around topless. And keep slathering on the lanolin. FWIW, my DB had the grip of death (my husband said it would hurt his finger when she sucked on it, even when she was just days old!) and it really got better after a couple of weeks. Good luck!
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Ok thanks guys. I just needed to hear a little reinforcement that its not just me or that I'm being wimpy. Its the worst when he flails his arms and hits me :)
[ Reply | Options ]Buy some Soothies, put them in the fridge, apply between feedings. Think of it as, you are building up a callus, it takes a while for the pain to subside. I remember that after two months of nursing, it felt natural and painless. I'm still nursing after 21 months. It is challenging, everything is a stage, and with new stages come new challeges. Hang in there, the benefits are amazing!
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Looking for advice on a doula--I am delivering with a midwife in a hospital birthing center in NJ. Midwives are very attentive and will accompany me during labor once I arrive at hospital. Location is very open to alternative birthing methods and expect/hope to go natural and my husband is very supportive. This is my first. Will a doula still be useful/worthwhile, even with a midwife?
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[-]Anyone out there who want some free baby items? None of my friends /siblings are planning to have children soon so I have no one to give away my baby stuff to (all in terrific condition). (1) Graco Snugride carseat + Graco snap and go carrier + grey color jj cole bundle me for carseat + sasha rain cover for carseat (2) Medela freestyle breastpump with all spare parts (3) Fisher Price Rainforest gym for infant. This is not a scam - just a NYC mom with too little closet space! If you like the items pls leave your email address and I'll email you offline. You need to be able to come to my apt to do pickup on weekend. I live in midtown east NYC.
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]YES!! temp3172010@yahoo.com (set this up since I feel odd posting normal email on UB). Thanks.
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[-]2nd pg and not going to dr til next week. Bad headache. Remind me what I should and should not take for it? BTW -- I already took advil this morning, totally forgetting about the fact that I was pg. I think that was a "no no".
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[-]need words of encoragement please.. I have PMS very very bad this month. Horrible depression, anxiety, irritability. I feel so upset and feel like everythign is way worse than I'm sure it really is. I have anxiety and take meds but when PMS hits, even the meds don't work as well. I get night sweats, pee a lot and just feel very upset. this is very difficult and I need to learn how to cope
36 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Seriously? You get this once a month, and haven't learned how to cope with it yet? How do you get by every day with life? Sheesh!
[ Reply | Options ]First order of business, ignore the dumb bitch above, Second, answer a question for me, please? Have you had a baby yet? I was in a very similar boat (minus meds, to afraid to even take Nyquil when I'm sick). After having a baby, it was like my entire system regulated. That might be some light at the end of the tunnel. FYI, mean girls, I'm not suggesting she gets knocked-up as a cure-all--just some anecdotal experience. In the meantime, you have to retrain your brain to deal with these tremendous downs. I know it is an uphill battle...been there and my heart goes out to you.
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I feel your pain. My PMS used to be so severe, I knew I was going to murder someone, the thought of going to jail was the only thing that kept me from killing anyone, and I mean anyone.
[ Reply | Options ]I was you with the night sweats and bad pms. I am going through early perimenopause (my mother did as well and the age you go through it is strongly related to the age your mother went through it). I started on Zoloft because I just couldn't take it anymore. It really seemed to help. I would recommend talking to your gyn and if he/she won't prescribe you something then trying your regular doc or a psychiatrist. I had to see a psychiatrist because the others just didn't seem to get it. Psychiatrists are more med focused than psychologists so don't think that you have to be "certifiable" to go to one. They are more familiar with this disorder. It can really help. Don't let yourself go through this, it's not necessary. Good luck.
[ Reply | Options ]you sound like a whiner and a hypochrondiac. see a doctor if you are sick --otherwise posting this on UB is just whining
[ Reply | Options ]Isn't this what UB is for, to support, help and advice each other I thought. You are a mean and ugly human being.
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ITA. You should by now have learned how to cope and do what's beneficial for yourself, unless you're still in your teens.
[ Reply | Options ]Mark my words, one day tragedy will befall you and I earnestly hope you remember this moment and how you treated someone in pain that was looking for help. It all comes full-circle.
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aren't you so strong and clever. Indeed you will not be on UB, but will your little brain remember the lack of compassion you showed another human being in pain? Doubtful, I hope you can remember me and my words though, as you sit bitterly typing at your angry desk.
[ Reply | Options ]thank you--i dont want or need words of encouragement from a bunch of anonymous bodies.
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I was getting horrible night sweats - not just when I had pms. My friend recommended zoloft to me and it has been remarkable. Since I started no more sweats. I felt that I hadn't slept in months - my eyes were twitching. I am also depressed and it helped that a lot. YOu can start on a really low dose and then ramp up if needed. Ask your doctor about it
[ Reply | Options ]This worked for me - more exercise, getting more sleep - only recently did I find that it was related to migraines that happen at the same time. A mouthguard helped me stop clenching my jaws at night and grinding my teeth, which got rid of the headaches, helped me get better sleep and smoothed out the PMS.
[ Reply | Options ]I feel for you, OP. My PMS got soooo much better when I started Zoloft. I had night sweats too, like the TOP of my head would be dripping, like a fricking stovetop, I'd just fly out of bed, clothes all wet, ugh. And the mood swings?? I used to HATE my dh during the worst days. It's much better. I also recommend regular exercise and a healthy diet. Try taking more calcium, vitamin d and I also pop a magnesium supplement during the PMS time. Good luck!
[ Reply | Options ]Have you tried acupuncture? I know it sounds crazy (and am not a fan of needles AT ALL), but it can really help.
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I agree about trying acupuncture - I'm the woman in this you tube video about PMS and acupuncture http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oc7e-PVOAvo
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[-]anyone here a long time sufferer of depression and anxiety? I am on meds and go to therapy but gets rough before my period. my ocd acts up a little. Does it get better? Like can you get desensitized to these feelings eventually and just know how to deal better??
2 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]There is a really great clinic at Mount Sinai that I know just opened. Has some world renowned therapists and psychiatrists who provide care for Depression, anxiety and OCD. In the interest of full disclosure, I work in Mental Health (which is how i know about the clinic opening) but I don't work at this particular clinic or hospital. Send them an email if you're interested: ocd@mssm.edu
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[-]Ok, just had our second DS. We are 99% sure we don't want more children. We will make the final decision within 2 years (by younger child's 2nd birthday). Until then, I'm interested in Mirena. I'll do the research by my 6 week postpartum visit so I can discuss with my doctor. However, what should I expect? Will I have to schedule another appointment? Can the doctor insert it right then and there? Can you use Mirena while breatfeeding? Anyone BTDT?Thanks in advance.
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I love Minera, I don't think they can insert it right then. First you or they need to order it, second your uterus need to do a bit more healing before they can put it in (maybe by 3 months or so). I love it, however my cramps were 10 times worst the first year. It is better now.
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