[-]Any Portland moms on? We may be moving to Portland soon (I'm very excited) but I don't know anything about the city except having visited before I had kids. What are some interesting neighborhoods that are walkable with good schools? I would love something not too suburb-y, if possible, and where there are interesting cultural things to do/places to eat, but schools are really paramount. TIA!
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]OP - Thank you so much, that's so helpful. I'm really looking forward to biking, hiking, just the greenness of it with the dcs. Does it feel small after living in a big city? Not that I'll mind that - I hope! - just curious how sleepy it feels. Also, did you adjust to the weather?
[ Reply | Options ]I actually grew to love the weather. When it is rainy here it makes me nostalgic for Portland! The first couple years may be hard though. A lot of people put special lightbulbs in their homes to ward off SAD. I thought Portland was the perfect size. When you read about goings-on in the newspaper you often know the people written about. There is tons to do downtown (but different than NY for sure). You can drive an hour and be skiing, windsurfing or visiting waterfalls in the gorge, visiting orchards in Hood River... a few more hours and you're at the coast. There is always Seattle if you are feeling claustrophobic, or Vancouver. And people are so friendly it will make you suspicious at first!
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I assume you mean OR? I went to college there and adored it. It's a fab city. The Hawthorne neighborhood is very kid-oriented, centrally located and definitely walkable. Easy bus to downtown. I think you'll be looking at private schools, but it won't be the rat race that it is here. I am extremely jealous and would move there (or Stockholm) if I had a job there.
[ Reply | Options ]Thanks for this. I did mean Oregon, sorry - I even checked the Seattle/Oregon region box! ;) I'm curious why you suggest I should look at private schools? I've heard some Portland publics are fantastic and it's something I'm looking forward to (a neighborhood school, walking distance, etc.) Do you (or anyone on here) know something I don't?
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Portland has the least psychic energy of any city in America. Lower than even San Diego. E-v-e-r-y-o-n-e, even 10-year olds, are act like retirees in Boca Raton who pat themselves on the back for their taste and judgment in moving to Portland. I much prefer the neurotic energy of NYers who work hard to achieve their goals, be it making partner in their firm, a Pulitzer or whatever. No one in Portland wants to accomplish anything not related to trivial culinary pursuits.
[ Reply | Options ]np: I grew up in PDX and you hit the nail on the head. I LOVE the city itself, but the people I generally find to be very self-limiting and you've described it better than I ever could - the general attitude seems to be "I live in Portland, I don't ever need to accomplish anything more."
[ Reply | Options ]OP: Well, thanks for the input. Seems like a bit of a sweeping generalization, but I guess I'll see if I find that to be true and if I do find it to be true, if I find it to be as irritating as you do. Sometimes laid back is just that - and I'm in the mood for a little of that, especially when the surroundings are so gorgeous and the people seem really nice.
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[-]NOT SPAM !! WOHM needs other moms' help. My firm is looking to understand moms' views on buying and/ or not buying 'green' household products. We'd like to have a conversation with moms who use, and moms who don't use, these types fo products. The research will be on-line, in a discussion forum some time the week of December 1st. If you would be interested in sharing your views on this topic, please e-mail me (Norah) at greenresearch12@yahoo.com. TIA.
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[-]My niece is 10 YO and not one of the "nicest" girls I know. I know that is mean to say, but it's true. My brother and SIL have called the school to find out why she doesn't have any friends and was told "she needs to learn to get along with others." Fine, I agree and they are working on this. But they recently bought her a cell phone because she wanted one and to "help her with friends". I'm sorry but I don't get it. And I know it's none of my business except that my brother is very upset by everything. SIL also called some of the mothers to find out why their daughters don't like her daughter. She said none of them called her back. I feel bad but how can you help people who are not making situation better only much worse?
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]they are not making it worse by giving her a phone. They are all texting each other at that age, so they are trying to include her. They seem to be trying hard. You on the other hand are not even trying to help
[ Reply | Options ]I'm trying to stay out of it. Like I said, she is not one of the nicest girls I know. I'm very good friends with one of her teachers last year. It was sad to hear that my niece is mean-she's arrogant (well that I knew, I can see it), she pulls other girls hair, stole someone's purse-not nice. I just thought she was just not nice, not a "bully".
[ Reply | Options ]If it's true she did those things, it may very likely be because the girls are being mean to her and she doesn't know how to react. Most likely those girls are the "bullies" and not your niece, but she is acting out because no one is nice to her (including you). She needs to be helped to ignore that and make her own friends.
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I actually don't think that the cell phone is going to make things worse -- you don't say that she's spoiled and demanding, just that she's aggressive and doesn't get along with other kids. Parents are trying to help her make friends, which is what she needs. Refusing to get her a cell phone because she's "mean" seems punitive in a counterproductive way.
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[-]My friend in Seattle has a new baby with colic/lots of digestion issues/allergies. She is thinking of hiring help, ideally a retired nurse, so she can pump and get sleep and just deal with a demanding baby. Any suggestions of people who do this?
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]1-800 Suck It Up. I did and so can she. This isn't a financial issue, it's a parenting issue.
[ Reply | Options ]np: that's awesome advice. And when this new mom completely loses her shit and the baby, mom, and dad all suffer, I'm sure they'll be so happy they took the "suck it up" route. Loser. The mom should hire a baby nurse if they could afford it. A coliky baby is a challenge for even the best of mothers.
[ Reply | Options ]Hey, 1-800 Troll, you are a turd. I've dealt with colic and it was crazy-making. Many studies link shaken baby syndrome to the same timeframe that infants experience colic. If someone is starting to lose it from lack of sleep, then by all means she should get assistance if she can. I doubt she'd be asking for help if she didn't need it. Even you, Troll, deserved some kindness while you were going through it, I hope you had some relief from friends or family. Judging by the tone of your reply, you didn't and that's a shame.
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[-]I'd love to curl up with a good book this weekend. Any suggestions?
23 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]"Meltdown: A Free-Market Look at Why the Stock Market Collapsed, the Economy Tanked, and Government Bailouts Will Make Things Worse" by Thomas E. Woods, Jr.
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Time Traveler's Wife was high trash, or low art, depending on how you look at it. I usually only read nonfiction or "literature," but somehow a few weeks ago picked up a copy of "Good in Bed," by Jennifer Weiner. Been out a while. Surprisingly well written. Not a literary book AT ALL, but a surprisingly fun read. I'm going to check out her other books for escape lit, and I didn't think I was a person who reads escape lit.
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THEMOMSTUDY.COM Hi Moms, I am the mom of a special needs kid and trying to finish my PhD in clinical psychology. As part of my doctoral thesis I am conducting an on-line survey about being a mom. If you are a mom of a child with a learning disability between the ages of 5 and 11 log on to THEMOMSTUDY.COM--it's easy, totally confidential, takes only 20 minutes (although it allows for an hour) and you can enter to win $500 by taking it. All to help one mom who ultimately wants to help lots of moms! THANKS for taking the time to do this--your input is essential. If you could forward to any moms that qualify I would really appreciate it.
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[-]DH just got a job with Microsoft in Seattle. I've never been there. No idea what its like. It's just too good a job to pass up. Have no idea where to start looking for a place to live? We live in Brooklyn Heights in NYC right now. DS is 2 years old. Was starting pre-school in the fall. Now - no idea. Help please!
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I think it would also be good to explore some Seattle neighborhoods since the suburbs will be quite a shock compared to Brooklyn Heights. I would look at Madison Park, Montlake, and North Capitol Hill. Nice houses, easy walk to groceries, coffee, parks, etc. The morning commute from any one of these neighborhoods will be pretty easy since you will enter 520 at the last entrance before the bridge. The evening commute will be a bit trickier but personally, I would much prefer living in Seattle.
[ Reply | Options ]I know most people will tell you to live on the Eastside given the MS job -- commute across the bridges in either direction is tough. But coming from BH, I think you will find Eastside soul-crushing. My suggestion is to live in Queen Anne or Ballard and if he has regular hours, take the MS Connector transport provided. No driving and he can work on the minibus. If he is an exec though, he'll probably have long hours so that option is probably out. In that case, you'll have to do Eastside.
[ Reply | Options ]I used to work for Microsoft in NYC. Hated the people, the culture and everything about it BUT the Redmond campus is pretty cool and I think that part of the USA has a cool vibe to it - outdoorsy but urban too. People who I worked with in Washington were much nicer than their NY counterparts but everyone there is so into drinking the kool aid it is actually quite cultish.
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[-]I am a SAHM, DH makes in excess of $500k each year. We have 2 DC under the age of 4; own apartment; and we struggle to make ends meet, yet do not live beyond out means. We have cut international travel out, eat out/order less; i do not buy clothes the way i used to; DCs wear what granny gives as gifts, and then hand me downs. I spend a lot on food (in nyc) and taxis. I will occasionally get a mani/pedi or eyebrows (once a month). I feel like we watch our spending b/c in this town--you can easily blow through $250 a day without accounting for it. So flame away.... tell me how much of a slob i am and how I still spend way too much. Personally I woulds like a challenge to bring my spending down. DH and I are terrible about keeping track. Yes, ...
47 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]get a notebook and write down everything you are spending money on for a week. then figure out what you are doing wrong. we live in nyc on 1/5 of your salary.
[ Reply | Options ]get a financial planner to make a budget for your household and stick to it. it sounds like you're nickel-and-diming yourself to death
[ Reply | Options ]you are absolutely overspending if you can just blow through $250 in a day. start tracking what you spend- every penny- you will be amazed how terrible you are.
[ Reply | Options ]you need to keep a detailed list of where the money goes. i have 2yo and 4yo. live in a 2bdrm rental (not controlled) in Chelsea, DH and i make about $140k TOGETHER. we go abroad once a year and take a few smaller domestic trips. have a full time nanny, go out on occasion. buy things for ourselves and our kids and are paying off stupid debt from when we were in our 20s we still have a bit of money (not much, but something) left over at the end of the month
[ Reply | Options ]Take taxis less -- little ones love buses and subways. That's a big drain. Where do you shop for food? "I do not buy clothes the way I used to" could still be a lot of spending on clothes. Nanny/housekeeper salaries?
[ Reply | Options ]can I just say, everything you've cut out are luxuries. I live in nyc, in manhattan, with 1/4th of what you have, and we don't struggle. you need to reevaluate what your needs are. we live comfortably, happily with less, and spend money on what's really important to us.
[ Reply | Options ]agree! DH and i make about $175K total, live in Chelsea with 2 kids. the only reason we "struggle" is cause we were crazy in our 20's and are paying off the debt. and by Struggle I mean we only go abroad (1-2 times a year) when we can stay with family instead of hotels. our live is pretty good!
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i hope you start by giving at least 10% to charity, then maybe you can forgive yourself. please refer to warren buffet for further tips.
[ Reply | Options ]I think your lack of fiscal responsibility is insulting to so many who have so little. There are so many in this world who cannot afford the basics of life to maintain dignity. The least you can do is steward your funds well. I'm not saying give it all away - but at least respect the luxuries you have in life.
[ Reply | Options ]I was the same way when I lived there. You know what helped us? We read a few financial books and then started paying for everything in cash. Made all the difference in the world. Sounds simplistic but it worked wonders.
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our doctor recommended against the vaccine. We seem to think that she had it anyway bc she had a really high fever in the spring for a few days and there were many other dc with that problem and now he thinks it was the swine flu.
[ Reply | Options ]I'm really on the fence. We usually don't get flu vaccines and we've never had the flu. I spoke to the Ped. yesterday about it. It should come out in Oct. Right now the CDC is recommending everyone from 0-24 years, but she said the recommendations are changing every day. A friend in Maine said that they are vaccinating all the school-aged children AT school!
[ Reply | Options ]I would have a heart attack if someone gave my kid a shot at school or even asked for permission for that matter. We had bible class at school (public) and kids had the option of opting out, those kids were treated like devil worshipers or something I would imagine kids who opt out of the shot would be teased by other kids.
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No. We don't get flu shots, either. My 8 yo has never missed a day of school, fwiw. Never gets sick.
[ Reply | Options ]yes. just like my dc gets the regular flu shot every year. he also has asthma and im hoping we avoid the flu until it comes out.
[ Reply | Options ]My dc has asthma, too. That's the reason why I don't want to challenge his immune system any further with all the chemicals. I'm curious what you based your decision on? Do you know this study: "Effectiveness of influenza vaccine for the prevention of asthma exacerbations." 800 children with asthma were tested and the study failed to provide evidence that the flu shot works in children with asthma.
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I am a doctor and my kid will be absolutely get the vaccine. The facts are: regular seasonal flu affects people at a mean age of 24 and swine flu has a mean age of 9. 1/3 of the global population will get the flu and 40/1000 will get sick enough to require hospitalization. 1/1000 will die. The difference is that these 1/1000 won't be elderly people like a typical flu season but rather people with robust immune systems (mostly young adults and kids.) The risk of having a complication from the vaccine is less than the risk of having a complication from the virus. That is why we will take the shot.
[ Reply | Options ]You cannot say "40/1000 WILL get sick" or "1/1000 WILL die". There is a possibility for that, yes. But stating this as a FACT is fear mongering and lacks scientific evidence. The yearly official "flu deaths" of 36'000 that are established every year by the CDC is grossly exaggerated. If you take a look at the statistics, less than 1000 people each year die of the flu, the other 35'000 die of pneumonia. Yes, it's a complication of the flu, but many elderly get pneumonia in the hospitals, where there are tons of germs around. The swine flu also turned out a lot milder than predicted. How do you explain the fact that during the 1976 swine flu "epidemic" 1 person died of the virus and 19 of the vaccine?
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My grandparents never got flu shots, except my grandmother ONE TIME. My parents never got flu shots, except my dad ONE TIME. My siblings and I never got flu shots. My KIDS never got flu shots. And in our entire extended family literally since 1960, there have been only TWO cases of the flu -- you guessed it -- Grandma got it a week after her flu shot, and Dad got it a week after his. Flu shots are total BS!
[ Reply | Options ]No, doesn't get flue vaccine either. never has and has been fine. i am pg and i will not get getting it either.
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[-]Anyone on with firsthand knowledge of public schools in Seattle or Portland (OR)? May be moving to either of those cities but want to know if either have good, or horrible, public schools (coming from a very good public in NYC). TIA.
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Grew up in Seattle attending public school and have live there now with two kids. One going and will soon to go. Any specific questions?
[ Reply | Options ]Thanks to everyone above for the responses. I do have some specific questions - are you zoned for a specific public school? If I found one I liked, could we just move to that neighborhood and be assured of getting in? Or is there some other rule? and then are there also any types of magnet/g&t schools? (just out of curiousity).
[ Reply | Options ]In the next few weeks, they will be releasing details of the new assignment plan that basically says if you live in these boundries, you will get into your neighborhood school. Currently it is a choice system where no one is guaranteed anything. This is supposed to go into effect for fall 2010. We will see. I think once they release the boundries all hell will be breaking loose since there are some undesirable schools. There is two types of gifted programs, depending on where the child tests at, spectrum and APP. Spectrum classes are in specific classes at neighborhood school, APP is at a city wide draw school. There are also language immersion schools, montessori schools, and a variety of other alternative programs. Avoid Madronna if you a...
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Need a reliable babysitter in Seattle for 9/25-9/30 for my 5 yr old daughter. We are visiting from China (where we live on an expat assignment - we are originally from NYC!). It would be a four hours during the day and then a few evenings. Please post any leads and I'll post my email!
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[-]Starting new job Monday, super nervous, new daycare, new city. Advise for a new job? Worried because dh will still be in old city for awhile, maybe db will get sick, they will want me to work late, I will have to say no....
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[-]WWYD? An old (and close) friend's husband sent me an e-mail in the middle of the night about a dream he had about me. It involved swimming (which means sex if anyone is into dream interpretation) and described me as looking great etc. I feel super creeped out, and don't want to mention it to anyone I know (including husband). The thing is, I feel like I don't know what to say to him, if anything, in response. Should I just act like nothing happened, or should I tell my friend what her husband did and leave it up to her to take it as she might?
20 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]What he did was really inappropriate. I would tell your friend that and let her deal with it as she sees fit. In any case though, you always have to remember that you could lose a friend b/c she may not believe you or may think you are lying or trying to cause drama. If this is something you can take then tell her, if not and he calls again say "I would appreciate it if you wouldn't call me and tell me about your dreams anymore. It's really inappropriate." If he continues to then mention it to your dh.
[ Reply | Options ]It was an e-mail, not a phone call. Phone call would be really over the line. I always said I would want a friend to tell me if my husband was doing something behind my back etc. but this area seems questionable, plus they just had a baby and are already struggling with relationship issues. I am afraid that the messenger might get shot.
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OK-give the guy a break he may not know up on the latest dream interpretations, Still pretty creepy though even w/o the sex part I would not respond and avoid the guy as much as possible
[ Reply | Options ]Thanks, that is my gut instinct, but I do not want to be a bad friend either (to the wife).
[ Reply | Options ]if he is the cheating type your friend will know sooner than later. I've never met a woman who said my BF told me Dh hit on her and i was so grateful.
[ Reply | Options ]Good point. Plus, the weird thing I don't think he is actually hitting on me (intentionally). I'm hugely pregnant with two dcs already, and I've know them both for 20 years. My gut instinct is that he really does not have a sense of good boundaries and I do not trust him because of this incident. If my husband did that I would be furious.
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