[-]Anyone have experience with a "disappearing twin"? At 6 weeks we were informed of a second yoke sack; at 7 weeks it vanished. I am now 10 weeks and have recently been experiencing some red spotting and last night when I went to the bathroom there was a samll clotty mass (like a piece of a red jellyfish)in the toilet. (Sorry, TMI I know). Is this part of the process of the body absorbing the other embryo or should I be concerned? No cramps, heavy bleeding or other symptoms.
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This happened to me, exactly. Have no idea what it was; always speculated it was a twin. Had an ultrasound a day or two afterwards to make sure everything with the pregnancy was fine--it was. (I tell you this, just to keep you from worrying too much). Your OB will likely want you to get an US.
[ Reply | Options ]This sounds exactly like what I am currently experiencing right now with my miscarriage. Most of the time I just have regular period type bleeding, but every few days I get bad cramps and then will pass large blood clots. So I don't think it's your body absorbing the other embryo, but rather getting rid of whatever is there for it. It's really gross, I have been bleeding for about 2 weeks already and hoping it ends soon (started at about 8 weeks, FYI).
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[-]Any advice on Dr. Sami David? I've made an appointment with him but am seeing not-so-great posts here. I'm 38, have unexplained infertility but all tests with me and DH are great. I'm frustrated with the limited tests that REs, and how they don't look at possible other underlying issues...i've had one IUI cycle with drugs, one without. I have limited $$, my insurance doesn't pay for any cycles or any RE visits, and want to make sure I make the right decision..i want to find a Dr. or RE who will test for more than just FSH, Estridol, etc...any suggestions? Does anyone know if Dr. David goes deeper in testing..or does anyone know if Dr. Spandorfer at Cornell does, as well? Thanks...
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]I was in your shoes exactly. I heard Dr. David goes all out with testing. But I went to Cornell because some of the dr's took my insurance. After 9 months of ttc I got pregnant on my own (while waiting to start a medicated IUI cycle at Cornell, so I'm not sure Dr. David would have been able to do anything for me.
[ Reply | Options ]did you find that Cornell did the same type of testing for you? or did they think outside of the box a bit?
[ Reply | Options ]They did the usual testing. Day 3 bloods, tested progesterone levels after ovulation...not much else that I can remember. I think they learn a lot more when they start the process with you and see how you react to stims, etc. If you want out of the box testing (I read something about bacteria and antibiotics?) Cornell isn't the place to go. But you should bear in mind that they have an well-documented track record.
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[-]Husband got results of sperm analysis - not good. Morphology is basically zero, though he's fine on other counts. We were about to start TTC. Any hope of conceiving naturally? Do results like this ever change over time? I'm 36 and this is #1 so we don't want to waste a lot of time, but I also really hate the idea of jumping straight to IVF.
30 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Try IUI first. My RE @ NYU did not seem to think morphology was necessarily a deciding factor in whether pregnancy occurred or not. The opinions vary depending on who you ask.
[ Reply | Options ]Good to hear. Did you have the same issue and were you successful at conceiving w/o IVF? We haven't even had the chance to talk to the dr. The nurse called to tell him the results and made it sound really bad, and then couldn't elaborate or explain the numbers in any useful way. So frustrating. Why not have the dr. call in these situations?
[ Reply | Options ]When you do get to talk to your doctor, ask if poor morphologolgy can be indicative of an underlying genetic issue. Did research on this and insisted on DNA fragmentation test. Test came back normal and had dd via IVF/ICSI (nothing from 6 IUI's and spermwashing)
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Sorry, his practice is in Canada. But the IVF/ICSI is standard everywhere. The way it was explained to me was that by doing ICSI they are selecting the individual sperm that have great motility and great morphology. For us, it was about $1000 extra, but worth it. I'm sorry your clinic gave you the news this way - our previous one did that. Wouldn't give me the results had to talk to my DH. Nurse gave him the numbers but said NOTHING about what they meant and he didn't ask.
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Poster from above, and yes, I did conceive my 2 children via IUI with morphology in the single digits. It may not be a deciding factor for you but unfortunately the only way to know is to try. I know waiting is hard so you may choose to go straight to IVF where your chances are better each time around. GL!
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really? OP i would suggest you go see a reproductive urologist..there are many at cornell...i cant imagine that an RE would say this isnt a deciding factor..especially since she is 36. i would NEVER waste my time on an IUI with 0% morph factor.
[ Reply | Options ]np: it would depend if morphology was actually zero, or more like 1%. at my RE's, 5% is considered good. you have to remember that morphology # depends a lot on the person who is looking at the sperm, and no one really knows how many couples with very low morphology #'s have no trouble getting pg, because they would never come to a fertility clinic. that is how it was explained to me - obviously zero is worrisome, but if its like 1%, it might be totally normal.
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Good to hear - yes, zero is zero, but I gather these #s do fluctuate somewhat. Hoping the re-test shows better ones. I just feel so blindsided...we haven't even started TTC and only went to the RE because I have an unrelated condition, am off my meds, etc so we were trying to be efficient. SO not prepared for this news. But we'll deal...thanks for all the advice.
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http://www.weillcornell.org/dpaduch/ he's very very nice and gets back to you asap..good luck, dh had crappy morph too. eventually we conceived via IVF and ICSI>
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Dr. Barad / Dr. Gleicher at CHR are fantastic and take Oxford. http://www.centerforhumanreprod.com/
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Be sure DH goes to see a urologist. You want to identify the underlying problem (if you can) - what is causing the 0% morphology. Do you know what the cause is? Also, great new book: Making Babies Program, by MD (RE) and Jill Blakely (Chinese Medicine, Acupuncture). Check it out.
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[-]So to all you ttc'ers out there I can highly recomend the pillow under the hips after sex - It totally worked. Been ttc for 8 months and tried the pillow thing thismonth and bingo! GL!
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[-]Question for Clomid users- How soon after a d & C were you able to start a new clomid cycle? Just had a d & C at 9 weeks. I don't ovulate normally, so don't think I will get period naturally. I have an appointment with my RE next week but I am really anxious to start ttc again and curious about other experiences. TIA.
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[-] Anyone have any tips/tricks/advice for planning intercourse to increase likelihood of a boy?
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All old wives' tales, but here: http://www.babymed.com/Tools/Fertility/Calendar/Default.aspx
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[-]Sad time... I must terminate my pregnancy at 8 weeks for reasons too sad and complicated to go into here. Can anyone with experience tell me (tactfully and kindly) what I may expect? Don't know where else to go for honest opinions. Thanks you.
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Thanks... I appreciate the compassion and kindness. I just want to know if I should ask my boss for time off the following week if I have it done on a Friday. Sounds like I should be back on my feet by Monday or Tuesday and I'll take it easy for sure.
[ Reply | Options ]Sorry for this sad situation. I had to do the same @ 9 weeks too so I understand your heartache. Physically I was fine within a day or two. If you have the D&C on Friday you will be fine by Monday, imho. I am not a Doctor, but this was my experience. I actually was surprised at how little down time was involved. I had anesthesia so I remember waking up parched & wanting to drink a lot of water. Plus, I remember feeling dizzy for at least an hour after waking. Probably has more to do with my sensitivity to meds than the procedure. Many of the other women in the recovery room left faster than I did for this reason. All in all, from a physical standpoint it wasn't difficult. Good luck !
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Had a D&C about 9 weeks. It was fast and relatively physically easy. Had anaesthesia, fell asleep, woke up and it was done. The physical was just like a heavy period afterwards. For me it was not that hard emotionally because it was a missed abortion, and knew it was likely an unviable pg (later turned out to be Trisomy 2). Also, we had not struggled with infertility and db was to be #3. Can't speak to the emotional situation for you, but physically you should be fine for work Monday.
[ Reply | Options ]You'll be sore for a couple of days, your period will come back sooner than you think. In the long term, please understand that we all end up with the children we were supposed to have and can't imagine having any other. You'll have other chances to add to your family. You won't go to hell, we all feel your pain and send you love.
[ Reply | Options ]The actual procedure is more emotionally painful than anything else because you will be asleep for it. It just sucks having to tell EVERY nurse, assistant and intern at the hospital why you are there and why you are having it done. I finally snapped and just said "Read my F*cking Chart! There's no Hearbeat!" and collapsed into tears. My DH took over the questions from there on. I had it done on a Friday and thought I'd be OK to be back on Monday, but I'll tell you it was very painful for almost a week afterwards. Take as much time for yourself afterwards as you can. It took me months to get back on track emotionally. But now we have a beautiful 4 mo old DD!
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[-]I thought I would be okay with not having #2 but obviously, I'm not okay with it. ;-(
12 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]:(. I wish I had something helpful to say, but I don't. just try to be happy, whatever you end up with.
[ Reply | Options ]We're in the same boat...but we just need to remind ourselves that having #1 is more than a blessing compared to others...like my sister who has been trying (IVF, etc.) for 4 years with no success.
[ Reply | Options ]Keep trying. It ain't over. :) Look into adoption, possibly. If you are truly not ok with just 1 dc, there are other options.
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DH doesn't want #2 and I can't get over it, so it makes the other issues in our marriage, which might otherwise be workable, insurmountable. Think we're splitting and I think I am going to use a sperm donor once the dust settles. That being said- i do believe that we should be very grateful for what we do have. Presumably you have one wonderful child and a great husband and lots of other good stuff. The kid and the husband are plenty, though. I know it's hard, but do try to be conscious of what you do have instead of focusing on what you don't have. It really does help me- momentarily, at least.
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[-]A few months ago I lost a pregnancy. I was quite far along, and I'm still broken up about it. Anyone have words of wisdom for overcoming the sadness? I do concentrate on the wonderful child we already have, but dh and I were really looking forward to expanding the family. Now, at 39, I'm wondering if my chance is gone :-(
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24 wks. A fluke malformation (not genetic). Life threatening to me. We had to terminate. It was absolutely horrible.
[ Reply | Options ]so sad, you will never get over it but with time you'll find peace. would you consider trying IVF to increase your chances of success but also so your RE could test the embys for potential issues and only transfer the strongest one? that would hopefully reduce the risk of another m/c.
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so sorry for your loss. This happened to my best friend at 39 yr old and at 24 wks. She went on to have another dc at 40 yr old. She got through the loss because of her other dcs. She said if it were her first it would have been harder but she had to be strong for her others. GL
[ Reply | Options ]try again, had dc at 42, there's time, and it will be wonderful when it happens.
[ Reply | Options ]I am so sorry. I have not been thru that but I hope you are in a supportive environment-- maybe a support group could help and/or therapy. I would imagine it would take a very long time to heal from that and I wish you the best! Also, you are not too old, many many women have healthy babies into their 40s. GL!
[ Reply | Options ]i'm so sorry. i'm struggling with this too. it's been an ongoing process for me of almost two years. to a great extent, i'm doing the ostrich thing. putting my head in the sand, humming as loud as i can, and proclaiming everything is fine. but in all honesty, it does get easier. there's a lot of sadness and regret, and i'm still very much hopeful of ttc. but having a dc already makes it much easier in the long run to come to terms with it. good luck to you.
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[-]just did a pg test...got faint line...would have to be 6 wks at this point(based on when I thought I was ov and date of sx). Wouldn't the line be dark by now? My first pg the line was dark at 4 wks (right when I thouht I should get my pd)?
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]OP: Just did another test, this time digital about 4 hrs later. Got a "pregnant". That seems pretty clear to me. Really confused since I thought I got my pd a few weeks ago. Will call dr tomorrow and get blood test to see my levels. I am shocked...so different than the first time I got pg. Anyone else diff the second time? I really hope this is viable as we have been ttc for months.
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[-]Vbac moms: what was the reason for your c-section? How did the vbac go? was it hard to find an ob? did you use pain relief, pitocin etc.?
1 reply [ Reply | Watch | Options ]My vbac was wonderful. Not all practices do it and I was in a high risk group. I did not use pain relief until bitter (36 hours after water broke) end. Walked a few miles the next day. C-Section - baby got stuck sunny side up and risk of infection great. I actually got the infection, not baby. Was in hospital for 3 weeks.
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[-]Out of blue, DH has this newfound baby fever. Some days I'm really excited and say, "Great, let's start TTC next month" - and I even bought prenatal vitamins and started researching doctors. But sometimes I get so scared and overwhelmed about what's ahead (everything from labor to whether I'm in the right place in my career to whether we have enough money saved) that I'm pretty sure I'm not ready. Is this a normal reaction? Do the doubts ever go away, or do people just ignore them and take the plunge?
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]totally normal. if you love your dh and want to have kids, go for it. if your apprehension is deeper then see a therapist for a while and see if you can resolve your issues prior to conceiving. that said, i had a tough pregnancy and thought "what was i thinking" many times. now I have a beautiful db and it was all worth it! GL.
[ Reply | Options ]It's a normal reaction based on all of the mothers I know. However, you both should be very clear on wanting this baby. You will be the primary caregiver. With a baby, every little thing or issue is tested so ensure your personal lives are healthy and fit. Any doubt around marital stuff, wait!
[ Reply | Options ]OP: No doubts about DH or our marriage, the fears are internal, rather than external. Ironically, I always thought I'd have my first in late 2010/early 2011, but now that the time is here, it's frightening.
[ Reply | Options ]Great about the marriage! You mentioned career and money. No doubt, bringing a baby into the world, esp NYC will be costly. Think about the internal fears and figure out whether the fears are the typical ones about having a baby (e.g., will I be a good mother, will I have a healthy baby, etc.). If yes, then take the plunge!
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[-]I have had 3 MC, and have 2 DC's. Basically it has been MC-BABY-MC-BABY-MC. Spoke to my OB, and saw a RE, both brushed off my MC's, said nothing to worry about. I am ready to start TTC again. Does this sound right, or do I need estrogen, clomid?
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]You know what I might consider? A baby aspirin a day- ask them both if this would be ok,
[ Reply | Options ]how old are you? i had 2 mcs and found both devastating, and then 2 dbs. have you considered not ttc and being happy with the family you have?
[ Reply | Options ]how old are you? the older, the more likely you are to have a higher proportion of bad eggs/embys. but you might also have an immune issue that is causing you to reject the embys. i do and it's easy to fix, which RE did you meet with? we use Drew Tortoriello at SIRM as he specializes in immune issues, and it worked!
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[-]New to this forum. Anyone have any recommendations/experience with fertility specialists in the San Francisco/Bay Area. 30's and TTC. Thanks!
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Are you pregnant with your second? Then it may be too late, no? If it is your first, he may change his mind, or you may.
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No to the abortion. He says he doesn't want to have that on his shoulders. It was no accident. He knew we were not using contraception.
[ Reply | Options ]Well, in that case, I think he needs to shut up and deal. Sorry, that he is acting this way.
[ Reply | Options ]He says it's me that's acting like a victim. I should be happy - since I go what I wanted.
[ Reply | Options ]Really? If he didn't tell you when you were discussing going off BC that he didn't want another then he really needs to deal. It is not like your tricked him. Does he not understand that it takes "two to tango". Dh and I have decided for various reasons to only have one - we were honest with each other - if he was not honest, then so be it. You got pregnant with his help & as far as you knew he wanted another. I'd be pissed if I were you.
[ Reply | Options ]Kind of weird that he's framing this whole thing in terms of a victim/guilty party. That's not good for your dynamic in general. As far as #2 goes, if he's still resentful after the birth, I really hope he can actively work on getting over those feelings. I've known "accident" kids who got the cold shoudler from Dad their whole lives.
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why did you stop bc? was that a mutual decision? Was there a discussion as to the repercussions of stopping bc? Did the idea of a 2nd child ever come up? Ask him what he's got against a 2nd child, is it too soon, did he not enjoy #1? I know everyone loves different things about dc's but to my mind, you haven't even seen the best of it if yours is only 3yo--4yo is adorable and worth the wait, maybe he'll change his mind about another, if he's really having fun with the first.
[ Reply | Options ]I hear you! I had to threaten divorce to get that second one. And he reminds me of his resentment about her almost every day - and she's already 1.5 years. What can you do - there is no perfect dh. As long as he's not leaving you - you'll both just deal with it.
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ITA... I feel sorry for that kid, she is the one you are punishing, not dh. How awful to live in a house with a father who doesn't want you. Do you think she can live in a house where her father is reminding her mother constantly that he did not want her, and she will never know? Little pitchers have BIG ears. She already knows. If you wanted another dc sooo bad and dh didnt, you should have left him and found someone who did. I feel SO sorry for that little girl, she didn't ask for this and you are just selfish beyond belief.
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This happened to me with Db #1-- we decided to try and then he changed his mind but I got pregnant (even using morning after pill). I wanted baby and he didn't-- even wanted me to think about termination-- we had several VERY difficult and painful discussions and spent months working on ourselves and our marriage. But it was really hard and I had to own up to my issues too. I sometimes felt like I was going to be a single mom and it was terrifying. Well, DD was born and now he thinks she hangs the moon and cannot imagine life without her. There are some communication issues in your marriage-- on BOTH of your parts-- and it's both your responsibilites to figure it out before baby #2 arrives. GL!
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[-]Please help.. my sister's living abroad and am having hard time reaching them and am worried. Her husband has no-sperm or extremely low sperm. Last week he had sperm extraction surgery and my sister was ready for transfer. But the day he had the surgery, he was informed that it wasn't successful. I am just wondering... is there any hope for my sister? (other than getting donor sperm) Do people get several sperm extraction surgeries? Do odds improve?
23 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]You mean TESE? You might have some luck at the ivfconnections boards- they have international ones too.
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WAIT!!! Sperm extraction surgery???WHAT!!!!???? How about a little room with soft lighting, dirty movie and a sterile plastic cup..What happened to that?
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Maybe there is a reason. I do not mean to sound harsh or mean and I would never say that to a face of a person trying to have a baby, but sometimes people cannot get pregnant for a reason and cannot produce sperm for a reason. This is called natural selection.
[ Reply | Options ]ITA thank you very much, If you weren't smart enough to have kids when you were fertile, you will be edited out of the human race.
[ Reply | Options ]Natural selection is not about fertility- it is about traits that favor SURVIVAL not reproduction- and I don't believe you to be a Christian Scientist so how about a big bowl of STFU?
[ Reply | Options ]Ummm, natural selection also has an effect on those who are for some reason NOT smart enough to do what is in their best interest. In this case, having kids before middle-age would have been in their best interest.
[ Reply | Options ]You are making a completely NEW argument. READ Darwin and natural selection- it explains why giraffes have longer necks, or medically, why people from African descent have sickle cell trait. You clearly never paid any sort of attention in school and are pretty dim and you procreated- living breathing example of why natural selection is unrelated to fertility.
[ Reply | Options ]Way to insult my intelligence because you don't agree with what I have to say. Darwinism has been applied to everything!! Ever heard of social darwinism? Survival of the Fittest? Maybe my definition of the 'fittest' is people who were smart enough to know that if they wanted kids, they needed to have them sooner rather than later.
[ Reply | Options ]Dumber still. SURVIVAL of the fittest. Thus you should be arguing against chemo, antibiotics and glasses. And again, these people have no problems with being too old. Way to justify 16 and pregnant! Next time, read.
[ Reply | Options ]NP: you are pretty stupid, because your argument has nothing to do with this OP's sister's problem. There is nothing to suggest she and her dh are having fertility problems because they waited too long. In fact, it states pretty clearly that her DH has a sperm issue of a type that would've been there had they tried to conceive at age 20 or 40. For that matter, there are many reasons for infertility that have nothing to do with age. I needed IVF at 33 and this is not uncommon.
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Wow, you are an asshole. Pretend you can't have kids for a minute. Then, pretend someone tells you it's because evolution thinks you don't deserve them. Now, go to hell.
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