[-]I've never been to a rock concert. DD is going to one when she comes home from boarding school over Thanksgiving. Going with nice kids, but I just don't know what to expect or advise. Please no flamers. What would you ask/tell/advise dd?
15 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Is DD going to a Jonas Brothers or Marilyn Manson concert. That'll tell you what to expect.
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Don't go into the mosh pit, always stay with at least one other person in their group, makes sure all of the kids remember their phones and have them charged, that's all that I can think of. Obviously don't go home with randos. Maybe have a curfew agreement or sleepover or arrange ahead of time what they'll do the rest of the night.
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I work in the music business, so maybe I'm biased, but seeing a techno band at the Bowery is really no big deal. I wouldn't think twice if my friends with HS aged kids asked me if it was OK, as long as it's an all ages show.
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[-]am i being paranoid here?? I am so scared right now. About a month ago, an ex-boyfriend (who turned into a stalker) shows up at one of my child's events. apparently he has a child or stepchild around the same age, but he doesnt live in the same town. i had an order of protection against him 15 yrs ago. then today, out of the blue, an ex who was controlling & violent with me (who I've been hiding from for over 20 yrs- changed my name, only had unlisted phone numbers) calls me out of the blue and says he just wants to talk (caller ID says he lives in MA, I am in NY). I am shaking right now. Both have threatened my life. It is too much of a coincidence, and I can only think that my sick ex-husband has something to do with this coincidence, si...
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NNP: I think that dc is really the one who must decide. I'm actually a bio professor, and I can say that they are both great schools in which to study bio! Harvard might be nice if your child decides to switch majors (which most of them do) and opts out of the sciences. I think the most important thing is for your child to make this--one their first big important decisions--primarily on their own though. It's a big step on the road to growing up!
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How do you know they will both be options? Decisions haven't gone out yet! I wouldn't count on getting into both these places, it is just too random. Friend's kid got into Harvard and Yale but not Princeton (where she really wanted to go). You just can't tell! I would advise DC to apply broadly and then go to the school that feels right for them.
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Both! My co-worker went to MIT for undergrad and Harvard for med school. Don't limit yourself!
[ Reply | Options ]You'll get a better education at MIT, but there is greater diversity at Harvard.
[ Reply | Options ]My brother went to Harvard and I think the education was truly wasted on him. Couldn't care less about anything outside of Wall Street. I don't know why these Ivy League schools are educating students to be so globally unaware. I really don't think any of these Ivy League institutions have any clues about how to make a person really socially aware of the world. I think you travel abroad and study - go see India and Africa - get of out of the box.
[ Reply | Options ]Seriously? Harvard is one of the most socially aware schools out there. Students are involved in service and education all over the world through Harvard programs, not to mention all the international students and faculty. You have to recognize, though, that we're talking about elite American universities and there are limits to the perspective such places can impart.
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[-]No flames please - I have a demanding job, work 10-14 hours a day. I have no choice as I'm the breadwinner. Most days, I see my 1 yr old for 20-40 minutes/day. While I stayed at home with him for the first 6 months, I don't feel like I'm bonding enough with dc. How do you bond with your 1 yr old?
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Another WOHM here so you'll get no flames from me. In my own experience, the interaction with a 1 yr old tends to still be very labour/care intensive (feeding, cleaning, diapering etc) so actual bonding opportunities are limited even if you are there all day long. Not to say that you don't have bonding moments during routine care of your child but it's not like the type of moments you will have when your child is older. I would just make the most of the 20-40 mins you DO have with your child and realize there will be times in the future to continue to cement your relationship. This is the reality of your current situation so no use in beating yourself up about it. Like many things, parenting is a marathon... not a sprint. Good luck! ...
[ Reply | Options ]you can't bond with your child, i'm sorry to say, if you only see him for 20-40 minutes a day. you're not the one who provides nurturing, security, care or even fun, sad to say. it's a reality you have to accept. if you can't accept it, then change your demanding work life very soon. you say you're the breadwinner - does your dh stay home and raise ds? in a way, that is not so bad as they'll have a special bond, but if a caregiver is with ds, i don't know what to say. i couldn't do it that way.
[ Reply | Options ]You do what you can and make sure that the time you do have you are totally present (no blacberrying, etc. on the side). You do the best you can and be as consistent as possible in terms of the time of day you do spend w/ dc. I know: it's really hard to be a full-time working mom. I feel for you.
[ Reply | Options ]Can you adjust your schedule or your DS's so that you have more time during the week? My workday + commute is also around 12 hours. My DC have always stayed up until 8/9pm, so we have time together in the evenings. (They took a later afternoon nap when they were younger, we had them in afternoon preschool and kindergarten so they didn't have to get up early in the morning.)
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[-]childcare/housekeeper: any sites/sources NY UB's would recommend? have tried Craigslist/Irish Echo/Polish Times etc. -- with overwhelming response from many unqualified candidates.
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My former nanny/housekeeper is looking for a new ft position if interested plz let me know
[ Reply | Options ]I am also looking for a f/t nanny/housekeeper. Please email me at nycnannyhousekeeper@gmail.com with the details about your former employee. Thank you!
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[-]I'm educated up the wazoo. TT boarding school, ivy college, med school and looking back...I don't feel like I got full value for my (and my parents') money. So much of it just seemed like jumping through hoops. I love my career but I feel like I wasted a lot of years "prepping" for the part that was truly useful. I'd like to do better by my dc and I don't think that means better schools.
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]That's because med school is a professional degree and not an academic degree. If you had spent 4 years + residency on academia, you would feel differently. Honestly, all this "best schools" stuff is only for academic snobs - and we have none of those on UB that I have seen. Not the average UMC Jane who wants the best for her kids.
[ Reply | Options ]Med school + residency was worth it but I took all these great courses in middle school, HS, and college and I was only gunning for grades. I don't think it really improved my current quality of life. I wish I had done it differently yet still ended up where I am...just with more true education. Does this make any sense?
[ Reply | Options ]NP: Sure, and I definitely think you can encourage your kids to focus on what's important (learning and not necessarily grades). I think my parents did this. They sent me to the best schools and loved to read and learn themselves, but they never really expected me to get amazing grades or pursue graduate studies unless it's what I wanted. I ended up in academia because I feel like I get to keep learning every day! My husband is a doctor and he tells me the same thing about learning every day... but I think he also feels that much of his school was a waste of time that made him into a doctor, which is where he truly wanted to be.
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I guess it was mostly attitude. My friends' parents would hound them about their grades, what they wanted to do when they grew up, what college they wanted to go to, extracurriculars... my parents just let me be. If I expressed interest in something, then they would always provide support. But they never pushed me, the way that a lot of parents do. I think it was in response to the way they had been raised (lots of pressure to excel at everything). I think they provided great examples themselves. They both have passions outside of work, and spend lots of time learning and practicing these things.
[ Reply | Options ]Yikes, my only passion outside of work is being with my kids, but they're young. I'm happy my parents pushed me otherwise I wouldn't have made it through but I wish I would have seen the value of learning for itself + get the grades.
[ Reply | Options ]I don't know, I bet you would have made it through yourself! You can never know what could have been I guess. My parents didn't push me and I got stellar grades... DH's mom hounded him relentlessly (if there is a respectable profession other than doctor, I don't think she knows about it) and he had a lot of trouble making the grades he needed, just because I think the fun kind of got zapped out of learning for him. Kids are different, so probably different approaches are needed based on what yours are like. But my sister and I both ended up professors!
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A truly educated person wouldn't say "I am educated up the wazoo." That sounds like something a poser would say. People with a lot of education and smarts doesn't use phrases like this, at least not any I have ever met.
[ Reply | Options ]Such an interesting post -- I'll be watching it. So hard not to do the jumping through hoops thing; my daughter is in college now and I think back sometimes on the SAT prep classes, the hours and HOURS of HW for her TT school, the fatigue -- I wish I could have some of that time back to spend doing nothing with her.
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[-]thinking about school - looking back over the past 5-10 years, what do you regret most about school decisions for your dc? why? what would you do differently?
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I wish we had moved out of NYC (from a school standpoint) before my oldest started K. I wish we had never gone through the whole private/G&T scramble....it was a waste of time and energy for us. But I was so worried we'd be unhappy in the burbs. Of course going through all that and THEN moving could very well be one of the reasons I am much happier now. (we moved when oldest was starting 2nd grade)
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probably would have chosen preschool on proximity and convenience vs. reputation
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very unhappy with one dc's school. to the point where i'm tempted to try to switch him midyear.
[ Reply | Options ]I wouldn't have blown a quarter of a million dollars on private school. DS didn't even make it into an Ivy, and yet his friend (our neighbors' kid), after 13 years of public school, got into Yale.
[ Reply | Options ]hate to say it but I think there are a lot of those out there. A huge portion of the kids I knew in college (Ivy) were from big public schools in all kinds of random places, but they were ass-kickingly smart and driven.
[ Reply | Options ]we ended up going public for dc but went thru the private process. Was sitting in one school with other parents waiting for our tour and overheard this one mom saying she had an 18 yo (plus the K child she was applying for) and that her 18 yo went to 92Y, then Dalton then Suny Binghamton (which is a fine school, I know)...but she said, and I quote, "he did GREAT in the admissions process for preschool and K, but not so well for college"....I almost laughed out loud because of the "credit" she was ascribing her son at age 2 and 5.
[ Reply | Options ]According to their posted stats, in the last 6 years Dalton has sent at most 1 child to Binghampton.
[ Reply | Options ]NP: That's not the point, you know. And FWIW, for me, Dalton sending only one dc to Binghamton in 6 years does not necessarily speak well for them.
[ Reply | Options ]I'd much rather my kid go to a top rated public university than a middling private; that's when I'd be miffed about spending money on all that tuition.
[ Reply | Options ]NP: what gets me about all this is how much you all seem to care about what college your children are going to go to. If you plan for them to attend nothing short of an Ivy League school get ready for disappointment, no matter where you live or where DC goes to school, it is extremely hard to get tehre AND, and it means that you see anything less as a failure. This is a great curse on our American University system, there are 8 schools that everyone wants and if you didn't get in to a place that is 4 years of your life, the rest of it is ruined. I met a woman who went to williams, an absolutely top notch school who was 39 and still lamenting not going to Yale. I mean seriously, it just doesn't matter. I would rather focus on the education ...
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First, Binghamton is a great school. In my days, kids assumed Binghamton was a better school than NYU and smart kids chose B over NYU or many small lib colleges. Second, that parent sounds like a loon and glad "new" dalton is diff and draws diff people.
[ Reply | Options ]And yet...only 1 kid to Binghamton from Dalton? Doesn't sound too middle class to me.
[ Reply | Options ]Who said it was middle class? FA kids get scholarship for college, too. Many families who pay 100% don't have much left after tuition but if you can pay $35k after taxes (or double that with 2 kids), you are no longer middle class. But that is true of all privates, isn't it? Plus, most selective public HS send their kids to private schools, not just public univ.
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I don't have any regrets except the stress involved in the whole process, but I don't think that could have been avoided without knowing the outcomes ahead of time.
[ Reply | Options ]I regret pulling my daughter out of supposedly second-tier private and putting her into a G & T public. Seriously, it was the biggest mistake I've made as a parent.
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give birth to the highly gifted november baby before the speech delayed may baby.
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Now in fourth grade and realizing that we really wanted private, so have to go through the middle school process where there are far fewer spots. And it is further complicated by the fact that dc is too young for grade in private, and even if the school no longer cares for sixth grade applicants I am not sure I want dc so much younger than everyone else. Really wish we had done private right off the bat.
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[-]My teen daughter is very very sad about something that happened in her school last week, i dont know what happened i have already talked to her but i didn't get any new information. I Dont Know what to do, should i call the school and ask if something bad happened to her? Shes at a private TT school,btw.
28 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Wow, I am so sorry. Maybe you could try calling the counselor? I'm not sure that they would know either, though. It seems like they are usually kind of out of it. Stuff like this breaks your heart.
[ Reply | Options ]do not go to the counselor, her friends' parents, her friends or anyone else trying to get information unless, and only unless you think she was raped or harmed in some way. Being this intrusive is just awful. OP should leave the doo open and then be supportive if her dd wants to talk. the idea of asking everyone if they know what's up shows a total lack of judgement with respect to her privacy
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It puts it into proper perspective. The definition of "something very very sad" happening at a private TT school would be someone dropping their iPhone into the toilet, or losing the diamond necklace that Daddy gave them for Christmas. "Something very very sad" happening in a public school would be a school shooting.
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Sorry to hear about your DD. Being a teenager can be so, so hard, especially a teenage girl. Do you think it was something that happened to her personally, rather than to the school? Just wondering b/c I am sure the school would've sent a note home. Could it be that she was rejected by a crush, got a really bad grade, etc? I know when my DD was in HS, those were huge things to her and she was understandably upset.
[ Reply | Options ]All this makes perfect sense if she's a normal teenager but what really throws me is that this was allowed to happen at a tt private school. One would think that this sort of thing would not be tolerated and frankly, I'm aghast.
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If the school knows about it and thinks it is something a parent should know about, they would call you. It is most likely something that seems soul crushing to a teenage girl and not noticed or known by any school employees. I think the best you can do is say that you know something is upsetting her, you would like to know what it is and help her, remind her you were her age once, tell her you love her and that if and when she wants to talk, you'll be there.
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[-]Parent-teacher conferences: Do you ever hear anything negative or is it all praise? Which type of school (public or private) and which grade are you referring to?
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at ours, the "weaknesses" are just things like: dc is reading a year above grade level and should keep challenging herself to read even higher-level books. goals, in other words and not weaknesses.
[ Reply | Options ]That may be for your brilliant dc, but highly unlikely that the same is the case for all dcs.
[ Reply | Options ]dc isn't brilliant. i just think teachers like to accentuate the positive and are uncomfortable bringing up the negative unless it's a huge problem. at least that's what i've found.
[ Reply | Options ]Not the case at our school. At least during the first conference, the teacher always identifies a couple areas for dc to work on as a goal for the year. My dc happens to have 4s across the board in academic subjects, but needs to work on his organizational skills big time, so there is a plan around that.
[ Reply | Options ]Teachers are taught to open with a positive, move to the negative and close with a positive.
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Public 5th grade: ds is "yummy" and exactly where he should be, may need some extra confidence in math. 3rd Grade: ds is "hilarious" and needs help organizing himself. When there have been concerns in the past the teachers didn't wait until conference time, they called us in proactively.
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[-]I was planning to move to Park Slope. But it seems that there are no decent public high schools in the area. Is this true? Are there any relatively affordable private schools in the neighborhood?
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which high school would you suggest for the kids that is within proximity to Park Slope?
[ Reply | Options ]what are his/her interests and what grade is the child in now? brooklyn tech is only a bus ride away, but i don't know if she's transferring or shooting for something new.
[ Reply | Options ]the kid is little, but wanted to see where we should live going forward. I don't want to buy an apartment and then move away. So curious to know which high schools would be a good option. Brooklyn Tech is great, but it's very selective. What if my child does not get admitted? I need to have other options.
[ Reply | Options ]If you feel that way you need to live in the suburbs. In NYC, all kids select high schools and travel to them (unless you are a very poor student).
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this reflexive "your post is offensive" is getting old. I've seen you write it (exact same wording despite your forthcoming claim it was not you) on multiple posts. Let me guess - you aren't even poor, but are offended on behalf of poor people everywhere?
[ Reply | Options ]What especially silly is that she jumped at the word "poor" without even looking at the context. Unless children have direct access to a trust fund, or are working actors, they are poor (it is their parents who have money). And I wasn't even referring to a family's economic status anyway, I was referring to whether a student performed poorly academically.
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High schools are not zoned, so it really doesn't matter. Many Bklyn kids go all over the city to school, to Beacon, Laguardia, Hunter, etc. Brooklyn Tech is first rate. Privates include Berkeley Carroll, Brooklyn Friends, Poly Prep, Packer, St. Ann's (but impossible to get into for HS).
[ Reply | Options ]This OP. Thanks so much for this info. I did not know that the high schools are not zoned!
[ Reply | Options ]NP: not only are high schools not zoned, but if you live in Park Slope (District 15) middle schools aren't zoned either! On the other hand, there are quite a few good options to choose from (dc must apply) and by the time your dc gets there, everything will probably have changed anyway, including high school. So making a decision based on high school is pointless, unless you move to the suburbs. Signed, D15 mom of 5th grader.
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I live in Park Slope, and FWIW, I don't see many teenagers. The ones I do see are on the F train in the morning going into the city (probably Stuy?) and on the R/M getting off at DeKalb (Brooklyn Tech). I have been wondering if most people move out of Park Slope before high school, because it seems like it is mostly babies, toddlers, and elementary school kids.
[ Reply | Options ]I know lots of teenagers in Park Slope -- believe me, all the parents who made 321 such a good school did not move out of the 'hood (although of course some did). They go to schools like Beacon, Bard, Laguardia -- until you have older dcs, you don't have any clue about the system, but they definitely aren't all going to Stuy.
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[-]at what age did your dc or any dc you know start reading 3 letter words?
12 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]#1 by 3rd bday; #2 a little over 3yo; guessing #3 will be much later simply becaues having seen how little early reading means, I'm not as motivated to teach it young.
[ Reply | Options ]Wow is this an ignorant response. Early reading isn't "prep" for some alpha parent milestone. Reading engages the brain and increases all sorts of intellectual synapses. I hope your dc succeed despite your trailer trash attitude.
[ Reply | Options ]np--I've never heard of a biological advantage to early reading. Can you cite any studies? There's no need to call someone offensive names, by the way. (I lived in a trailer as a child.) Many people don't put much stock in early reading. Love of books is important and that can be encouraged by reading to your child.
[ Reply | Options ]to the np who called the above poster trailer trash, i really don't think you know what you're talking about. i find no advantage in CRAMMING reading,letters, etc. into my 3 year old's brain. we read to her constantly and she loooooves books, but am i drilling her on letters and numbers? uh-uh. if you want to know the truth, a parent that eager to force rote learning down a child's throat at that early an age is trashy to me.
[ Reply | Options ]OR: way to completely misrepresent the spirit of my response. i read to my #3 (2yo) nightly and older two kids almost nightly. i expose 2yo to letters, sounds, etc, but I've given up that ftm mentality that i'm doing him a disservice if he's not learning early. what I learned with my oldest (9yo) is that all that early prep did not have any bearing on her later love for or skill in reading - and it was hard work! so why not let my 2yo learn at his own pace? he's a different little guy than my other two and has different strengths. drilling him isn't good parenting, and i'm glad i've learned that.
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[-]What do you think of this? My dd had her Bat Mitzvah a few weeks ago. She did great and had a great time, but it was a family fiasco. We showed a montage of photos of dd from babyhood through the present. My parents are LIVID that they were not in enough of the photos. The feel very slighted and hurt. I am so hurt that they tainted the party by having this reaction, and it certainly has affected my and dh's relationship with them ever since. I feel this is so out of character for them.
19 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Lesson learned: always count the number of times everyone shows up in the pictures. I get where your parents are coming from. When you don't have 1 group in as many pics as others, it's very hurtful. It makes you feel forgotten or unappreciated. It may have simply been an oversight, but it makes you feel lousy. I'm sorry it happened and that it tainted the bat mitzvah, but I get the hurt feelings.
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We DID count! The numbers weren't exact, but they were very close. My parents claim that they were hurt that none or few of the photos were of them ALONE with my dd. They were in group shots of the whole family.
[ Reply | Options ]were there shots of the other grandparents alone with dd? just trying to understand where they are coming from -- if not, they are nuts, if yes, i understand they felt slighted but they should grow up and not make such a fuss. sad all around. but the thing is, you cannot control if they FEEL hurt, that is honest. find a photo of them alone with DD, blow it up, frame it, give it to them with a nice, loving note from DD.
[ Reply | Options ]Yes, there were photos of the other g-parents alone with dd. What happened was this: My parents (the ones who are hurt) spend a lot of time with my dc and are very close to them, have a great relationship with them. We go on vacations with them (they treat us) and we spend time at their vacation house together. In contrast, DH's parents are very elderly, don't spend as much time, and don't really have a relationship with my dc. DH was very concerned about the montage being too over the top with photos of my parents, so he tried to tone it down a bit. In the end, he might have toned it down too much -- but it was not as if my parents were omitted from the montage.
[ Reply | Options ]Do you think it would help to explain this? Tell them you didn't want to rub your IL's noses is what great relationship they have with DD. They're being comepletely ridiculous, btw.
[ Reply | Options ]Thanks for your support. They already know this. But they think dh went overboard. DH was the one who put it together, and he worked really hard on it. It's not so easy. There were a lot of considerations besides the number of shots of each person. He tried to select shots that dd looked good in, a certain number of photos for each stage of her life and various activities, etc.
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That is really tough. I think they are being unreasonable, but still it's hard to have close family members so out of sorts. I would give them some time to chill and hopefully they'll realize they are being ridiculous.
[ Reply | Options ]this happened with my wedding. we got the prints back and guess what, the photog didn't take pics of the in-laws' family. worse than that, the in-laws are from out of town and their family had all flown in for the wedding. mil was upset for years. shoot, i'm sure she still is. anyway, don't fret b/c it's water under the bridge. in-laws will calm down...eventually.
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i think they are wrong to feel hurt. but i think you are just as guilty by letting it blow out of proportion and letting it affect your relationship. let them know that you certainly didn't intend to hurt them, you feel secure in the strength of their relationship with dcs. if they want to be upset further, let that be their problem. don't let it become your issue as well.
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[-]AA mothers - are any of you tired of guidance counselors steering your children away from ivy league schools? I'm thinking of starting a group about this. It has been going on for years and needs to stop.
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That's hard to believe. There were many, many, many AA kids at my ivy. AAs with great SAT and GPA get into ivy and with diversity, will have easier time than white kids (unconnected) from the same city. It'd boost their exmissions. Makes no sense. Are you sure about this? Maybe your particular kid doesn't have good SAT/GPA?
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That doesn't mean there aren't many, many more in high schools across the us that aren't steering them away from those schools. If it were up to my guidance counselor I would have ended up at SUNY or CUNY but drowned them out and applied to my own choice of schools and ended up at a good school and on to law school after that so it def happens.
[ Reply | Options ]Believe it. It happened to me (although outside OP's 20-year research period). I was the best student in my senior class 20-something years ago, and the guidance counselor "guided' me to focus on schools like Drew (in NJ) and Penn State. My mom had a hissy fit when she saw the list of schools where I'd been encouraged to apply. Long story, short -- I ignored the guidance counselor's advice, applied to 4 Ivies and was admitted to them all.
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You are probably right, and you should be outraged. That said - my brother (white, Jewish) was steered away from Ivies, despite stellar grades at Horace Mann. Why? Some other kid's parents had bought a building at XYZ ivy and so the school wanted to recommend THAT kid. So THAT has something to do with it - perhaps moreso than the issue of being Black.
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[-]Hi! I'm wondering if anyone out there who either has kids at a NYC TT school or teaches at one can help me. With today's technology, how do schools handle it if a student is absent for a period of time, due to illness, etc? Does the school email the student notes from the class? Or do the teachers upload their lectures and homework assignments to the web? Anything like that? THANK YOU for any help! (This is for a novel I'm writing, set at a fictional NYC TT school.)
15 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]LOLOL! As if I as the teacher have time to do extra work for YOUR kid. My students are required to make arrangements with their fellow classmates for copies of notes and homework if they are sick.
[ Reply | Options ]When I was in HS in a private in the midwest, I had a decent online system. In college, it was great, if the teachers chose to use it. I'd assume nyc private high schools have this, but prob not for middle school.
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I know of a suburban private where the teacher writes all the class notes on a Smart Board, prints them out and gives them to all students and then posts them on the website. Most schools have websites where assignments are posted. At our dc's school, class notes have to be gotten through a friend, but we are not a techie school.
[ Reply | Options ]The homework is posted online usually, but fictional student would need scanner and printer to complete and hand in finished work. Sometimes my dc and friends share written notes, and revision notes, with each other by fax or scanner. They also chat online through the school forum about assignments, and ask each other for help that way too.
[ Reply | Options ]OP here -- THANKS ALL! Seems there's a wide range of practices. Since my book isn't being published until 2011 -- at which point I'm sure the use of tech in schools will be even more prevalent -- I think it's safe for me to have the school use technology to accommodate a student with a prolonged absence. Thanks again.
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[-]I reduced my nanny's hours from 50 to 25 hours. She went from a salary wage, where she received 2 weeks vacation to an hourly wage. How much paid vacation should I give her at 25 hours?
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]technically, i don't think you owe an hourly PT person any vacation time. but since she worked for you FT prior, and you have a relationship, i think 1 week is fine.
[ Reply | Options ]You give the same 2 weeks. However, since each week is less time, the amount of vacation time you are paying her for is half of what you used to pay her. Otherwise, you are cutting her benefits 75% when she is working half the time. That is, you used to pay her 100 hours of vacation time for 2 weeks, now if you pay her 2 weeks you are paying her for 50 hours of vacation time. One week means you are only paying her 25 hours and I don't think that's fair for someone you want to keep happy, IMO.
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[-]i saw this article in which obama talks about his daughter getting a 73 on an assignment and telling her that he expects a 95... is that a good thing? i sometimes wonder if as parents we should be more focused on doing your best than getting the best results. should a child who's less gifted feel bad about not scoring at the top of the class? http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/11/04/obama-uses-malias-test-scores-as-a-teaching-example/
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Thanks for posting the link. I don't see that he expected a 95 of his daughter. I read that his daughter got a 95 on her next test and that he and Michelle expect scores in the 90s in general. Kudos to the biology teacher for giving what became a rather public grade. If my child gets a score in the low 70s, it means she doesn't understand the material and I work with that.
[ Reply | Options ]I can't weight in on O's kid - I trust that he knows her better than I do and is a very good dad. In our house, we pretty much stay out of it. My child is still on the young elementary side, but it appears that being a C/B student is going to be good enough for her. Is she smart enough to be an A student - without question - but she is lazy. I think each person gets to decide what type of student they want to be.
[ Reply | Options ]I think it's creepy that he's discussing his kid's marks in public when he and his wife have been vehement about the girls' privacy being respected. The guy's a hypocrite (in many ways).
[ Reply | Options ]Why don't people like you realize that when you say things like this you get your opinion voided simply based on being a hater. When you can only see one side (the negative) of anything related to your issue you sound irrational. I don't waste my time on irrational people. You would do yourself some good to TRY to look at the big picture. When you can have a rational, intelligent conversation weighing both the good and the bad of a topic then we'll talk. Until then I roll my eyes and write you off as a belligerent fool.
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I don't think there's anything wrong with having high standards for your dc. If my dc got a 73 and I truly believed she was capable of bringing home a 95 then I'd probably convey that message. At least he didn't demand a 100%. Now if she was not capable of getting a 95 then I would change my opinion, but there's no way we can know that.
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[-]Walking on Park Ave today and overheard a bunch of girls talking "girl stuff." Thought they were at least 16 or older, but then realized they were talking about bathroom stall conquests at a BAR MITZVAH! I was aghast. Especially when I heard them say the name of their school and its my FC for 1.11 DD. HELP! Is this what privates in NYC are coming to?
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Both my DH and his father went to this school, my kid is a legacy, and we have a FC because there are no other options. I'm not from NYC, this is how its done here and I'm totally fine with it. My zoned public is horrible, we inherited an unbelievable apartment which we aren't leaving, and my child will undoubtedly go to this school. Wasn't sure if I should say FC or legacy, but whatever. You get the message.
[ Reply | Options ]I did not realize that if your dh went there, you automatically get in . That is great.
[ Reply | Options ]Not automatically, but 2 generations of legacy, a yearly endowment and a library with your name on it are pretty good odds. Not bragging, just truth. But we're detracting from the point here. When did 13 become 23? Or 33? These kids did things in bathroom stalls and cabs that I've never done!
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